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Joke 885

25 Aug
Message on notice board at St Peter & St Paul,...

Message on notice board at St Peter & St Paul, Shoreham (Photo credit: L2F1)

The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.

  • “Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on ‘It’s a Terrible Experience’.”
  • “Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.”
  • “Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.”
  • “A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.”
  • “Today’s Sermon: ‘How Much Can a Man Drink?’ with hymns from a full choir.”
  • On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: “God is good – Dr. Hargreaves is better.”
  • “Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.”
  • “The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.”
  • “Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.”
  • “The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.”
  • A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
  • Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

From ahajokes.

 

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