Joke 886

26 Aug
English: High Street, Edinburgh Festival Fring...

High Street, Edinburgh Festival Fringe, 2010 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Edinburgh Fringe Festival Funniest Jokes – a sample from 2008-2013

  • “My girlfriend said ‘did you know that hippopotamuses kill more people every year than guns?’. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but a gun is easier to conceal’.”
    – Lloyd Langford
  • “When I was a kid I asked my mum what a couple was and she said ‘oh, two or three’. And she wonders why her marriage didn’t work.”
    – Josie Long
  • “The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe – wouldn’t it be easier just to talk to a woman?”
    – Stephen Grant
  • “I’m sure wherever my dad is he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”
    – Jack Whitehall
  • “Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?”
    – Dan Antopolski (winner, 2009)
  • “I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.”
    – Emo Phillips
  • “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.”
    – Jack Whitehall
  • “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.”
    – Gary Delaney

From the Huffington Post

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6 Responses to “Joke 886”

  1. slpmartin August 26, 2013 at 05:20 #

    May need to visit the Edinburgh Fringe Festival someday…thanks for the sample wit.

    Like

  2. sharechair August 26, 2013 at 13:47 #

    Whoever got Dave the wreath-lifebelt ….. hmmm 😯

    Like

  3. Hattie August 26, 2013 at 16:47 #

    Truly silly. Thanks!

    Like

  4. SchmidleysScribbling August 26, 2013 at 17:03 #

    Truly fringe elements at work here. Dianne

    Like

  5. SchmidleysScribbling August 26, 2013 at 17:04 #

    But i do like the one about the Hedgehog. D~

    Like

  6. lanceleuven August 27, 2013 at 13:27 #

    Excellent! I particularly like the wreath one. 🙂

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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