Joke 886

High Street, Edinburgh Festival Fringe, 2010 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Edinburgh Fringe Festival Funniest Jokes – a sample from 2008-2013

• “My girlfriend said ‘did you know that hippopotamuses kill more people every year than guns?’. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but a gun is easier to conceal’.”
  – Lloyd Langford
• “When I was a kid I asked my mum what a couple was and she said ‘oh, two or three’. And she wonders why her marriage didn’t work.”
  – Josie Long
• “The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe – wouldn’t it be easier just to talk to a woman?”
  – Stephen Grant
• “I’m sure wherever my dad is he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”
  – Jack Whitehall
• “Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?”
  – Dan Antopolski (winner, 2009)
• “I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.”
  – Emo Phillips
• “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.”
  – Jack Whitehall
• “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.”
  – Gary Delaney

From the Huffington Post