Coming Soon…

…The conclusion to my London tale.

Wax Lips (Photo credit: red clover)

Thank you all for your good wishes.  I am on the mend but I have spent today catching up with some of your blogs.  Don’t be offended if I haven’t visited you yet; I follow a LOT of blogs.

Tomorrow, I’m off to the hospital to see a man about a gag.  I will take two buses there at the crack of rush hour to be fitted for a thing in my mouth that I don’t really want but which is supposed to stop me snoring.

If the dental doctor ends up with my breakfast on his shoes, don’t blame me – I gag if I put too much food in my mouth (it’s why I can’t eat trifle) so how they expect me to sleep with a plastic wotzit in my gob I really don’t know, but doctor, apparently, knows best.

Of course, if I choke to death in my sleep on the plastic wotzit that’s bound to cure my snoring, so the Hub’s all in favour of it.

Anyway, the ordeal of taking four buses and rubber fingers poking around my very private mouth probably means no London post tomorrow.

Sorry.

Joke 887

Edinburgh Fringe Festival Funniest Jokes – another sample from 2008-2013

Wispa (Photo credit: Z303)

• “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”
  – Matt Kirshen
• “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”
  – Alan Sharp
• “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.”
  – Mark Watson
• “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.”
  – Tim Vine
• “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”
  – Will Marsh
• “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”
  – Rob Beckett
• “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics – I just got Bronze.”
  – Tim Vine
• “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
  – Stewart Francis
• “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
  – Stewart Francis (winner, 2012)
• “I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.”
  – Gary Delaney
• “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
  – Rob Auton (winner, 2013)

From the Huffington Post.