Joke 887

27 Aug

Edinburgh Fringe Festival Funniest Jokes – another sample from 2008-2013

Wispa

Wispa (Photo credit: Z303)

  • “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”
    – Matt Kirshen
  • “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”
    – Alan Sharp
  • “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.”
    – Mark Watson
  • “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.”
    – Tim Vine
  • “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”
    – Will Marsh
  • “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”
    – Rob Beckett
  • “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics – I just got Bronze.”
    – Tim Vine
  • “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
    – Stewart Francis
  • “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
    – Stewart Francis (winner, 2012)
  • “I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.”
    – Gary Delaney
  • “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
    – Rob Auton (winner, 2013)

From the Huffington Post.

 

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4 Responses to “Joke 887”

  1. slpmartin August 27, 2013 at 04:06 #

    Oh..the one regarding ‘food or sex’ somehow brought to mind some people I know…no names shall be given. 🙂

    Like

  2. lanceleuven August 27, 2013 at 13:17 #

    I wasn’t hugely impressed when I read the contenders for this year. Although the nutshell one was quite good. But I thought the ones from last year were brilliant. The Tim Vine DVD watching and Stewart Francis badly named children particularly made me chuckle. :-).

    Like

  3. SchmidleysScribbling August 27, 2013 at 16:02 #

    UNfortunately, the one about the TV and the bookcase is too true. My brother was an only child. Good one liners. Dianne

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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