Joke 893

2 Sep
Funny Church Signs

Funny Church Signs (Photo credit: au_tiger01)

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon.  With great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

He sat down. The song leader then stood and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.”


Delivering a speech at a banquet on the night of his arrival in a large city, a visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day.

Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested the reporters to omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers.

A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following: “The minister told a number of stories that cannot be published.”


From ahajokes

7 Responses to “Joke 893”

  1. slpmartin September 2, 2013 at 04:33 #

    Oh the first one was my favorite of the two…but both were good.


  2. Terry September 2, 2013 at 05:16 #

    those were cute


  3. sharechair September 2, 2013 at 14:59 #

    No one is going to throw my “3 buck chuck” in the river! (fyi… 3 buck chuck is wine sold by Trader Joe’s for only $3 a bottle … and believe it or not, it’s pretty darn good!) 🙂


  4. adinparadise September 2, 2013 at 16:59 #

    Love that first one. 😆


  5. SchmidleysScribbling September 2, 2013 at 18:05 #

    I imagine both of these things really happened. Dianne


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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