Joke 896

5 Sep
Bumper Stickers

Bumper Stickers (Photo credit: _rockinfree)

Bumper Stickers

  • I love animals.  They taste great.
  • EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.
  • Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Cool Bumper Sticker

    Cool Bumper Sticker (Photo credit: Tim Patterson)

    Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

  • A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  • Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now. 
  • I won’t rise to the occasion, but I’ll slide over to it. 
  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. 
  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 
  • Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. 
  • Okay, who put a “stop payment” on my reality check? 
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. 
  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? 
  • All generalizations are false, including this one. 
  • I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
  • We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. 
  • Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. 
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 
Bumper sticker

Bumper sticker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

From ahajokes.com

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7 Responses to “Joke 896”

  1. Rorybore September 5, 2013 at 04:38 #

    LOVE these!!
    “fountain of smart” awesome. You know I can’t wait to use that one. Fortunately, an opportunity will soon be along. 😉

    Like

  2. slpmartin September 5, 2013 at 05:30 #

    Oh…I did enjoy these…nice to have a good laugh before bed.

    Like

  3. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com September 5, 2013 at 08:44 #

    Profound truths here!

    Like

  4. SchmidleysScribbling September 5, 2013 at 21:04 #

    Yes, why are the batteries always dead? Dianne

    Like

  5. jatwood4 September 6, 2013 at 01:47 #

    Laughing my butt off! Wonderful! 😎

    Like

  6. jatwood4 September 6, 2013 at 17:03 #

    Reblogged this on Diabetic Redemption and commented:
    Every day, The Laughing Housewife post a joke, or a silly story, or something like these wonderful Bumper Stickers. They crack me up — I thought you might enjoy them too.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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