Joke 897

6 Sep
q. why did the cucumber need a lawyer?

q. why did the cucumber need a lawyer? (Photo credit: moirabot)

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone which read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.”

“How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.”

***

Lorenzo Dow, a 19th century evangelist, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter night. At the local general store he saw the town’s lawyers gathered around the potbellied stove.

Dow told the men about a recent vision in which he had been given a tour of hell, much like the traveler in Dante’s Inferno. One of the lawyers asked what he had seen.

“Very much what I see here,” Dow said. “All of the lawyers gathered in the hottest place.”

***

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. “Only a shilling?” said the Justice, “Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here’s a guinea; go and bury 20 more of them.”

*

From iciclesoftware.com

 

Advertisements

7 Responses to “Joke 897”

  1. Terry September 6, 2013 at 04:26 #

    I guess lawyers really do have a hot reputation!!! LOL

    Like

  2. Katharine Trauger September 6, 2013 at 06:21 #

    Grins and smiles and giggles and laughs!
    Lynne Truss would have a go at the first one, though… 😉

    Like

  3. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com September 6, 2013 at 07:21 #

    A perfect example of tautology: a criminal lawyer

    Like

  4. Grannymar September 6, 2013 at 08:20 #

    Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
    A: Because deep down, they’re really good people.

    Like

  5. slpmartin September 6, 2013 at 17:40 #

    Now those are very funny.

    Like

  6. colonialist September 8, 2013 at 21:17 #

    Lawyers practise the law – what a clear indication that practice does not make perfect!

    Like

All comments are welcome, though compliments may result in you having your Malteser privileges revoked

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Nicola Hulme Author

Exploring creative writing and learning every day

Worldly Winds

It's not easy being me!

Vivinfrance's Blog

mainly poetry, also quilts, pictures, life-writing and the occasional short story.

Unpicked:Restitched

Where is the heart of Stockport?

Grains of Sand

notices and reflections in ministry

The Cvillean

The adventures of little read writing Hood

%d bloggers like this: