Joke 897

6 Sep
q. why did the cucumber need a lawyer?

q. why did the cucumber need a lawyer? (Photo credit: moirabot)

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone which read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.”

“How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.”


Lorenzo Dow, a 19th century evangelist, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter night. At the local general store he saw the town’s lawyers gathered around the potbellied stove.

Dow told the men about a recent vision in which he had been given a tour of hell, much like the traveler in Dante’s Inferno. One of the lawyers asked what he had seen.

“Very much what I see here,” Dow said. “All of the lawyers gathered in the hottest place.”


A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. “Only a shilling?” said the Justice, “Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here’s a guinea; go and bury 20 more of them.”




7 Responses to “Joke 897”

  1. Terry September 6, 2013 at 04:26 #

    I guess lawyers really do have a hot reputation!!! LOL


  2. Katharine Trauger September 6, 2013 at 06:21 #

    Grins and smiles and giggles and laughs!
    Lynne Truss would have a go at the first one, though… 😉


  3. September 6, 2013 at 07:21 #

    A perfect example of tautology: a criminal lawyer


  4. Grannymar September 6, 2013 at 08:20 #

    Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
    A: Because deep down, they’re really good people.


  5. slpmartin September 6, 2013 at 17:40 #

    Now those are very funny.


  6. colonialist September 8, 2013 at 21:17 #

    Lawyers practise the law – what a clear indication that practice does not make perfect!


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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