Joke 898

7 Sep
Bumper sticker

Bumper sticker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

More Bumper Stickers

  • Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
  • BEER: It’s not just for breakfast.
  • So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  • Don’t drink and drive…You might hit a bump and spill it.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  • Eschew obfuscation.

    Bumper sticker

    Bumper sticker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Better living through denial.
  • Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.
  • Too many freaks; not enough circuses.
  • Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
  • Ambivalent? Well, yes and no….
  • I thought I wanted a career.  Turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
  • How do I set the laser printer to stun?
  • I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert….
  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
  • Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
  • Adults are just kids who owe money.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?
  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
  • Help wanted.  Telepath: you know where to apply.
  • Hang up and drive.
Leona's bumper sticker.

Leona’s bumper sticker. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From ahajokes

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24 Responses to “Joke 898”

  1. misswhiplash September 7, 2013 at 06:48 #

    take it that you are now feeling better..that is good….thank you for your kind comment about Maya

    Like

  2. slpmartin September 7, 2013 at 07:17 #

    Oh there are some really good ones in this group…the one on ‘Suburbia’ really struck a chord with me…given what I see housing developers doing in the States.

    Like

  3. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com September 7, 2013 at 07:59 #

    Some absolute stunners here. I particularly like the ambivalence of “Eschew obfuscation.”

    Have I missed something: you’ve been poorly? I’ve been skyping an off-line Tilly for days – I’ll phone later. Whatever it was, I hope you’re better now.

    Like

  4. Grannymar September 7, 2013 at 09:03 #

    ‘Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.’ would make a good epitaph!

    Like

  5. judyt54 September 7, 2013 at 12:57 #

    tilly, these are wonderful. And as one who has spent forty miles trapped behind Mr. Forgetful, “Forget world peace. Turn off your turn signal NOW”

    Like

  6. SchmidleysScribbling September 7, 2013 at 15:23 #

    How about “Too soon old, too late wise.” My Dad had ‘eschew obfuscation’ on his office wall, its pretty old. Later he had, “Retired, no work, no money, no food, no home.”

    I like “Denial, a river in Egypt” but it’s no longer politically correct. Dianne

    Like

  7. joursdemots September 7, 2013 at 17:24 #

    The coexist is superb! I wish it could be true.

    Like

  8. Terry September 7, 2013 at 22:23 #

    so many of those hold more truth than humor, you know what I mean?

    Like

  9. Jim September 8, 2013 at 00:43 #

    Those are all sooo very good, every one of them.
    So my vote will be split between
    “So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute”
    and
    “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.”

    Mine will be
    “Lock your door before you practice Twerking and put out the candles first.”
    ..

    Like

  10. Musings September 8, 2013 at 06:39 #

    I love these! Thanks for the smiles!

    Like

  11. adinparadise September 8, 2013 at 12:21 #

    Love these, especially the “total waste of makeup” day. 🙂

    Like

  12. benzeknees September 8, 2013 at 15:43 #

    Still laughing, “This day was a waste of make up.”

    Like

  13. jatwood4 September 9, 2013 at 02:50 #

    Great, again!

    Like

  14. kiwidutch September 23, 2013 at 18:23 #

    We are working on he coexisting bit… have some fabulous Muslim and Buddhist friends, I don’t agree with *all* of their philosophy nor they mine but we agree to disagree, respect that each others differences are personal to each of us and were ALL surprised to find over time that we have far more in common than we first thought we did.

    Generalisations and tarring everyone with the same brush can do a lot of damage, being open to new and “different” types of friends is an eye opener(it also raised a few eyebrows for a few people we know when female guests in hijab’s turned up at several of our birthday parties … definitely a learning experience!

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife September 24, 2013 at 20:08 #

      Sometimes it’s good to have our eyes opened 😉

      The important thing, as you mentioned, is to respect each other’s differences.

      Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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