Joke 900

9 Sep
Funny Dick Bumper Sticker

Funny Dick Bumper Sticker (Photo credit: Amarand Agasi)

Last Lot of Bumper Stickers

  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
  • Don’t force it, get a larger hammer.
  • Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
  • Herblock’s Law: If it’s good, they will stop making it.
  • It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
  • It works better if you plug it in.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.
  • Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
  • Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
  • The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
  • You have the right to remain silent…Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  • I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • We Are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

    Funny Linux Bumper Sticker

    Funny Linux Bumper Sticker (Photo credit: Amarand Agasi)

  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy.
  • Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
  • I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
  • If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Funny Bumper Sticker - 2 of 2

Funny Bumper Sticker – 2 of 2 (Photo credit: sameold2010)

Find these and many more at ahajokes.

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10 Responses to “Joke 900”

  1. Terry September 9, 2013 at 04:08 #

    I love reading bumper stickers on your site and on cars I am following!!

    Like

  2. jatwood4 September 9, 2013 at 04:10 #

    Just as funny
    ūüėé

    Like

  3. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com September 9, 2013 at 06:48 #

    an ocean without sponges? That one’s a hoot! As are most of the others.

    Like

  4. slpmartin September 9, 2013 at 16:38 #

    Oh…I really enjoyed these…had a good laugh to start my week…thanks!

    Like

  5. lanceleuven September 9, 2013 at 17:32 #

    Excellent!

    We don’t seem to have got into the bumper sticker thing on this side of the pond so much. I wonder why. Maybe it’s time we started? I think I’ll start with the “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.” one! ūüôā

    Like

  6. colonialist September 9, 2013 at 18:06 #

    Another good set!

    Like

  7. benzeknees September 9, 2013 at 18:14 #

    There seems to be a theme here this week without any of the others knowing about it. See my post: http://benzeknees.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/life-with-the-benzes/ See if you can see to which bumper sticker this links.

    Like

  8. bluebee September 11, 2013 at 15:17 #

    Do you get the “my family” car stickers in the UK? I’ve seen some very naughty versions in Oz.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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