Joke 901

10 Sep
Dad's Cat System

Dad’s Cat System (Photo credit: Bugsy Sailor)

Fathers of 1900 didn’t have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:

  • In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success.  Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home.
  • In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.  Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.
  • In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.  Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.  What?  VCRs are obsolete?  Since when?
  • In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.   If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.
  • In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school.”  Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”
  • In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.  Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge.”
  • In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.  Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout, “WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE…”
  • In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.  Today, a father spends $800 at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the kid screams, “I wanted the PS4!”
  • In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes.  Today, it’s Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.
  • In 1900, fathers said, “A man’s home is his castle.”  Today they say, “Welcome to the money pit.”
  • In 1900, “a good day at the market” meant Father brought home feed for the horses.  Today, “a good day at the market” means Dad got in early on an IPO.
  • In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.  Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald’s.

    Dad's underwear 2

    Dad’s underwear 2 (Photo credit: Mel B.)

  • In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.  Today, a father’s involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.
  • In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.  Today, kids glance up and grunt, “Dad, you’re invading my space.”
  • In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suitors with shotguns if the girl came home late.  Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that earring?”
  • In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.  Today, fathers are never truly appreciated.

From ahajokes

 

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16 Responses to “Joke 901”

  1. slpmartin September 10, 2013 at 04:19 #

    Hmm…not sure whether to laugh or cry. 🙂

    Like

  2. judyt54 September 10, 2013 at 04:37 #

    love the picture at the top, obviously a man without a cat door. Im still giggling.

    Like

  3. jmgoyder September 10, 2013 at 05:03 #

    And all true!

    Like

  4. Three Well Beings September 10, 2013 at 06:43 #

    Brilliant, and all too true! Poor dads!

    Like

  5. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com September 10, 2013 at 07:40 #

    I’m not sure all of these are up to date. Do you put film in a video camera these days? Or simply take off the lens cap?

    Like

  6. adinparadise September 10, 2013 at 16:21 #

    I had a wry smile on my face whilst reading these. I definitely agree that pipes should not be smoked in the house. Love that cat reminder. So important to know when royalty is in residence at the castle. 🙂

    Like

  7. benzeknees September 10, 2013 at 17:17 #

    The more things change, the more they stay the same! Hahaha

    Like

  8. vastlycurious.com September 10, 2013 at 21:42 #

    This was very poignant ! I loved it and it’s true . (PS: I still use a VCR )

    Like

  9. SchmidleysScribbling September 10, 2013 at 22:23 #

    Wow too true. On the other hand, modern fathers live much longer so their money has to last and last and last. Especially if the kids keep coming home.

    Like

  10. Grannymar September 12, 2013 at 08:32 #

    I do not have a TV, never had a VCR, but I do have…. wait for it!……… Rabbits ears in my loft hanging from the end of the cable!

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife September 12, 2013 at 09:00 #

      😀 😀 😀 Haven’t seen those for years.

      Like

    • The Laughing Housewife September 12, 2013 at 09:01 #

      I’m curious: does Ellie have a TV and if she does, do you ever watch it?

      Like

      • Grannymar September 12, 2013 at 09:35 #

        Yes and No!

        Mr & Mrs tekkie have a large screen TV/Media Centre. It has about three remotesand I would not know one end of them from the other. When in the house on my own, I never think to put it on. Occasionally I watch a programme with them in the evening, but it is VERY noccasionally.

        Like

    • The Laughing Housewife September 12, 2013 at 09:02 #

      You should write a post about having no TV; for those of us who can’t conceive of such a life 🙂

      Like

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