Joke 909

Short jokes, because long jokes take too, um, long, to copy & paste.

• ‘Employee of the month’ is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.   Demetri Martin
• What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?  A stick.   Traditional
• Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.   George Burns
• How do you call a prison inmate?  Use a cell phone.   Unknown
• Nelson Mandela, he’s been out of prison for 16 years and hasn’t re-offended. I think he’s going straight. Which shows you, prison works.   Ricky Gervais
• Why do seagulls live near the sea? Because if they lived near the bay, they’d be called bagels.   Unknown
• I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.   Rita Rudner
• I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.   Lenny Bruce
• I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.   Steven Wright

From bitcomedy