Joke 913

22 Sep
Scotty Cannon, Denver 1999. Cannon is an NHRA ...

Scotty Cannon, Denver 1999. Cannon is an NHRA funny car driver in the U.S. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“I rent a lot of cars, but I don’t always know everything about them. So a lot of times, I drive for like ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn’t say a lot for me, but it really doesn’t say a lot for the emergency brake. It’s really not an emergency brake; it’s an emergency “make the car smell funny” lever.” – Mitch Hedberg

***

Condoms prevent minivans

***

Guy walks into my parts store. Says, “I need a gas cap for a Kia.”

I said, “Okay, sounds like a fair trade.”

*

From Jalopnik

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11 Responses to “Joke 913”

  1. Terry September 22, 2013 at 04:18 #

    those were cute ones! thanks for making me grin

    Like

  2. Katharine Trauger September 22, 2013 at 10:35 #

    And then there’s the guy who needed a new 710 cap for his car…

    Like

  3. SchmidleysScribbling September 22, 2013 at 17:11 #

    I have a spare gas cap…..Dianne

    Like

  4. viveka September 22, 2013 at 17:24 #

    I haven’t been driving since I was 20 … but the emergency break I can relate too. Good once *smile – Kia one, great ..

    Like

  5. colonialist September 22, 2013 at 17:27 #

    I like these!
    At least modern cars don’t have that thing for hanging a handbag on which makes the car run funny after a while – called a ‘Choke’.

    Like

  6. Rorybore September 22, 2013 at 18:52 #

    *hand up* guilty of the emergency brake thing — although only once. Hubby had a good laugh over my frustration that the car would not drive any faster than 30 MPH. Despite my counter point that the car technically should not have driven at all. In my defense, I couldn’t smell anything over the permeating scent of crushed goldfish crackers in the carpet.

    Like

  7. adinparadise September 22, 2013 at 22:58 #

    Hahaha. ūüėÜ

    Like

  8. Grannymar September 26, 2013 at 17:21 #

    I kea like these!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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