Joke 915

24 Sep
Funny kids sign

Funny kids sign (Photo credit: hugovk)

How do you know when a plane is full of teenagers?

When the engine stops, the whining goes on.

***

When a family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked the five-year-old how he liked the new place.

“It’s terrific,” he said. “I have my own room, my brother has his own room, and my sister has her own room. But poor mom is still sleeping with dad.”

***

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

***

Two young boys started a conversation in the waiting room of a doctors’ office.

The first one asked the other, “What are you here for?”

The second replied, “I’m here to get circumcised.”

“Oh boy!” said the first, “I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year and a half.”

*

From bitoffun.com

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23 Responses to “Joke 915”

  1. Terry September 24, 2013 at 04:12 #

    you did good with some funny ones tonight!!!

    Like

  2. slpmartin September 24, 2013 at 04:48 #

    Oh…now those were really cute.

    Like

  3. Barbara September 24, 2013 at 08:17 #

    I haven’t been here for ages!! Lots to catch up on 🙂

    Love the teenagers joke, but I have found they only whine in the presence of a responsible adult such as teacher or parent :). Take those away & they make lots of noise, have parties and get very drunk & sick & wreck your house… Or airplane 🙂

    Like

  4. granny1947 September 24, 2013 at 11:21 #

    Love the last one!

    Like

  5. Al September 24, 2013 at 13:46 #

    I’m clutching my groin right now.

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife September 24, 2013 at 19:42 #

      TMI, Al! 🙂

      Like

      • Al September 24, 2013 at 20:10 #

        You’re the one talking about circumcision!

        Like

        • The Laughing Housewife September 24, 2013 at 20:13 #

          Okay, I’m giving you the last word on that one 🙂

          Like

          • Al September 24, 2013 at 20:14 #

            Chicken. Bawk, bawk, bawk…….

            Like

            • The Laughing Housewife September 24, 2013 at 20:20 #

              I think you mean, balk, balk, balk… 🙂

              Like

              • Al September 24, 2013 at 20:33 #

                Our chickens don’t speak the King’s English.

                Like

                • The Laughing Housewife September 24, 2013 at 20:42 #

                  They’re behind the times: English belongs to the Queen now.

                  Like

                  • Al September 24, 2013 at 20:49 #

                    Oh yes, that’s right. I’ve been so immersed in following Kate that I’ve lost track of the actual chain of command. Please tell me she is next in line for the throne! She’s a 10 (and I don’t mean Downing St.)

                    Like

                    • The Laughing Housewife September 24, 2013 at 20:51 #

                      She is zero in line to the throne, I’m afraid, since she married into royalty instead of being born into it.

                      Like

                    • Al September 24, 2013 at 20:59 #

                      I’ve done a quick ancestry.com search. Turns out her great, great, great, great grandmother once had a one-nighter with Henry the VIII (but then, who didn’t). I hereby dub her Kate IV, Duchess of Hood, and thereby eligible for the throne.

                      Like

                    • The Laughing Housewife September 24, 2013 at 21:04 #

                      Okay, you win, you crazy revolutionary. 🙂

                      Like

  6. colonialist September 24, 2013 at 20:40 #

    For some reason the first one got a particular chuckle from me.

    Like

  7. lanceleuven September 24, 2013 at 21:39 #

    Excellent! I particularly like the hitting the bottle one. It reminded of a story from when my brother was young. He answered the phone while my mum was busy. It turned out to be a cold-caller. In frustration my mum flippantly said “Oh, tell them I’ve just emigrated”. My brother, not knowing what the word meant, promptly returned to the phone and said “Mum can’t come to the phone because she’s just emigrated”.

    Like

  8. Grannymar September 26, 2013 at 17:33 #

    Hitting the bottle did it for me!

    Like

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