Diary Of A Fifty-Year Old (1)

30 Sep
50–50 (game show)

50–50 (game show) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In case I haven’t mentioned it, today is my birthday.  Yes, fifty years ago today, my Mother stood up and said to my Dad, ‘I don’t remember coughing,’ and three hours later I was born.

The celebrations started last night (if we don’t count the last three months), when Spud came into my room just after midnight to wish me a happy birthday. He’s so sweet.  But really…awake so late on a school night?  I’ll have to have words with that boy.


Spud insisted I have a lie-in today (I deserve one every fifty years) but old habits die hard and I was awake before him.  I crossed my legs as long as I could (not long at all, as it happened; this old bladder is just like my mother’s in pregnancy) and then sneaked to the bathroom before he awoke.

I had to lie there for thirty minutes while he got up, showered, dressed, blah-blah-blah…I think he forgot it was my birthday because he just left me there, sleeping (he thought).

When I heard him coming with my tea, I hid under the covers:

Spud [stage whisper]: Wake up, Mum.

Me: [stage yell, muffled]: Go away!

[Puzzled pause]

Spud [indoor voice]: Wake up, Mum, it’s your birthday.  Happy birthday!

Me: [under the quilt voice]: Go away!  I don’t want to be fifty!  I’m not fifty until I get up.  I’m not getting up.

Spud [Panicked – Mum’s having a mid-life crisis]: Umm..

Me [Gleeful]: Heeheeheeheeheehee…

I had first considered moving round so he found my feet on the pillow but then I thought, Nah, I’m fifty now; time to grow up.  Besides, these old bones would have taken too long to make the move.


Opened my cards.  I decided yesterday to save the presents until this afternoon, when Tory Boy arrives.


The Hub suggested I open just one present, because everyone should open a present on their birthday morning; I chose Viv’s, whose interesting M&S parcel has been sitting there, tormenting me for the past two weeks.


Opened the rest of my presents.

If Tory Boy wants to be part of this family, he’d better move back to Stockport.


Saw Spud off to school (late).

Fed the dogs: Toby’s breakfast waits for no fifty-year old.

Read all of my birthday messages via email, Facebook, text, etc.  Thank you, all!


Got my breakfast.  Had a packet of crisps for pudding, to celebrate (diets are forbidden on birthdays).

08: 50

Stopped eating long enough to answer a couple of calls, wishing me a happy birthday.


Played Spider Solitaire on my computer.  Just because it’s my birthday.

And because it’s my birthday, I opted not to feel guilty about wasting time.

Happy birthday, me!


Expect a lot of posts today; or, as the media puts it when there are important events taking place, Look out for live updates throughout the day.


26 Responses to “Diary Of A Fifty-Year Old (1)”

  1. speccy September 30, 2013 at 10:04 #

    Happy Birthday, Tilly- I like your style 🙂


  2. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com September 30, 2013 at 10:50 #

    Tried Skyping you, but you’re too busy to answer. Happy everything to you (not wishing to mention numbers.


  3. thehutts September 30, 2013 at 11:53 #

    Happy birthday from someone soon to be in the same boat as you and I had my present summer 2012! Parties were discussed this weekend for mine in several months time but I don’t want a lot of fuss. Meeting up with old friends next August will hopefully be when I celebrate. Sally


  4. judyt54 September 30, 2013 at 12:04 #

    happy birthday, Tilly. Secret: The 50s are so cooool I loved my fifties, and it aint old. You know that too. I always think of it/them as the ‘me’ decade for women. Enjoy, enjoy. Somehow I think you will. Hugs


  5. bevchen September 30, 2013 at 12:06 #

    Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu!
    My mum’s been 50 for 2 months now and seems to be surviving okay 😉 You seem to have got the day off to a good start anyway. Diets are definitely not allowed on birthdays! Have a piece of cake for me 😀


  6. Janie Jones September 30, 2013 at 12:18 #

    So today is finally the big day! Happy Birthday!!! Hope it is wonderful in every way!


  7. misswhiplash September 30, 2013 at 12:37 #

    Have a really great 50th birthday..l was 50 once but only for a year…xxxxxx


  8. laurieanichols September 30, 2013 at 14:03 #

    Happy Birthday again!!!! Isn’t Spider Solitaire fun? I play it everyday to keep my electrical connections in my brain free from cobwebs. I can’t wait to hear about the rest of the day 🙂 xoxoxoxoxox


  9. mairedubhtx September 30, 2013 at 14:56 #

    Happy Birthday, Tillie!


  10. Grannymar September 30, 2013 at 16:54 #

    Happy Birthday to you, Tillie, Have a wonderful day!


  11. Rorybore September 30, 2013 at 19:15 #

    Happy Birthday to you!
    I read Part 3 first, so I thought you had a good sleep in for your birthday. but now I see you are actually up long before me (time change excluded) and I feel kinda bad.
    better go read Part 2 before I say any more….


  12. Three Well Beings September 30, 2013 at 19:31 #

    Fantastic! And have a wonderful birthday–I suggest once a decade the birthday should be spread out over the coming year! Spoil yourself, and bless your friends and family for sharing in that celebration. And there is no such thing as wasted time when you’re celebrating YOU! ox


  13. restlessjo September 30, 2013 at 20:19 #

    Terrible to be so old, but the weight loss is good 🙂


  14. adinparadise September 30, 2013 at 21:11 #

    Fifty is the new forty, so your bones aren’t that old, Tilly. Glad to hear that you’re being spoilt for your birthday, That’s as it should be. 🙂


  15. slpmartin September 30, 2013 at 21:26 #

    Happy birthday! Let the fun begin.


  16. sharechair October 1, 2013 at 01:34 #

    Happy Birthday!! I see no reason why the celebration should stop today. What about a post-birthday month?


  17. Gobetween October 1, 2013 at 01:41 #

    Happy Birthday!


  18. danbohmer October 2, 2013 at 12:34 #

    Hope you had a grand birthday!


  19. Tom Merriman October 2, 2013 at 21:47 #

    Happy Birthday, Tilly. 50 isn’t old… I’m almost there myself…


  20. bluebee October 7, 2013 at 04:54 #

    Happy Birthday to youooooo! You’re older than me, heehee



  1. Because you can never have too many | Janie's Place - September 30, 2013

    […] **Update**  Today does appear to be Tilly’s special day. […]


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: