Joke 926

5 Oct
Mozart and Beethoven Have Tea

Mozart and Beethoven Have Tea (Photo credit: Dharbigt Mærsk)

I’m feeling silly this morning.

What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little whine.


What kind of flower is on your face?



What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?



A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?”

The bartender says, “For you? No charge.”


Why did the cookie cry?

Because his mother was a wafer so long.


Why do milking stools only have three legs?

Because the cow’s got the udder.


What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?

Its backside.


What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

Christmas Cake 2006

Christmas Cake 2006 (Photo credit: Ross_Angus)



14 Responses to “Joke 926”

  1. fairyfeet October 5, 2013 at 10:10 #

    I like them silly!


  2. October 5, 2013 at 10:32 #

    No wonder you’re feeling silly after all that celebrating.


  3. sharechair October 5, 2013 at 11:27 #

    good ones!


  4. colonialist October 5, 2013 at 12:40 #

    These are gorgeously dreadful, in the tradition of the ‘Why did the swiss roll? Because it saw the jam turnover!’ type.


  5. Janie Jones October 5, 2013 at 14:06 #

    🙂 Good ones!


  6. slpmartin October 5, 2013 at 15:34 #

    Those were so cute! A good start to my Saturday.


  7. Terry October 5, 2013 at 16:26 #

    these were cute!


  8. lanceleuven October 5, 2013 at 18:00 #

    Heh heh heh. Some uncontrollable sniggers were emitted, Tilly. Thanks for the chuckles. 🙂

    (BTW I’m not sure I’ll be able to say the word banana in any sensible manner for a while. I hope you’re proud of yourself.)


  9. SchmidleysScribbling October 5, 2013 at 19:54 #

    Love these. Especially Tyranasarus Wrecks


  10. Musings October 5, 2013 at 21:02 #

    Thank you for the Saturday chuckles! 🙂


  11. judyt54 October 5, 2013 at 22:00 #

    My lips are numb. These are so awful (bananananas will never be the same) they’re hysterical, =)


  12. kateshrewsday October 6, 2013 at 18:27 #

    Tilly, it is Sunday evening by the time I got here and I just want to tell you how much fun Phil and Felix had guessing the punchlines today. These are cracking gags. Thank you.


  13. Three Well Beings October 7, 2013 at 05:01 #

    These were all good! Clever!


  14. benzeknees October 7, 2013 at 19:08 #

    This was a good crop for sure!


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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