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I’m No Michaelangelo

16 Oct

Daily Prompt: Michelangelo’s YOU

The Pieta, by Michelangelo

The Pieta, by Michelangelo (Photo credit: kiwizone)  AKA Hub Carrying His Missus To The Hospital On The Occasion Of Her Blackhead

Your personal sculptor is carving a person, thing, or event from the last month of your life into the glistening marble of immortality. What’s the statue and what makes it so significant?

The statue is a large, flaking pimple.

This is what I look like at the moment:

Okay, the flaky skin was cured by copious amounts of Vaseline and the seventy-year old woman staring out from the mirror has lost twenty years; but now I am lumpy.

On Monday evening sometime after nine, I suddenly felt an ache on my neck.  I suspected a lump but couldn’t really find one.  Yesterday morning it had appeared.  Yesterday evening it was stretching its legs down my neck tendons and feeling quite sore.  This morning it hurt.  Fortunately, that is easing as the day goes on.

Naturally, I reached out for expert help.  

Google says it’s a goitre, which means I’m either infected or hormonal.

You choose.  But don’t mess with me…I have a disgusting thing and I’m not afraid to use it.

 

Joke 937

16 Oct
The 'LEGO' Budget

The ‘LEGO’ Budget (Photo credit: Duncan Allan Photography dot com)

The Top 13 Indicators The Economy Is Bad

12. CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

11. You got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

10. You go to buy a toaster oven and they gave you a bank.

9. Hot wheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM and Chrysler in the stock market.

8. Obama met with small businesses – GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.

7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ounce Big Mac.

6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children’s names.

5. The highest paid job is now jury duty.

4. People in Africa are now donating money to Americans.

3. Motel Six won’t leave the lights on anymore.

2. The Mafia is laying off judges.

And the #1 indicator of all:

1. If the bank returns your check marked as “insufficient funds,” you have to call them to ask if they meant you or them.

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From mistupid.com

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