I’m No Michaelangelo

16 Oct

Daily Prompt: Michelangelo’s YOU

The Pieta, by Michelangelo

The Pieta, by Michelangelo (Photo credit: kiwizone)  AKA Hub Carrying His Missus To The Hospital On The Occasion Of Her Blackhead

Your personal sculptor is carving a person, thing, or event from the last month of your life into the glistening marble of immortality. What’s the statue and what makes it so significant?

The statue is a large, flaking pimple.

This is what I look like at the moment:

Okay, the flaky skin was cured by copious amounts of Vaseline and the seventy-year old woman staring out from the mirror has lost twenty years; but now I am lumpy.

On Monday evening sometime after nine, I suddenly felt an ache on my neck.  I suspected a lump but couldn’t really find one.  Yesterday morning it had appeared.  Yesterday evening it was stretching its legs down my neck tendons and feeling quite sore.  This morning it hurt.  Fortunately, that is easing as the day goes on.

Naturally, I reached out for expert help.  

Google says it’s a goitre, which means I’m either infected or hormonal.

You choose.  But don’t mess with me…I have a disgusting thing and I’m not afraid to use it.


35 Responses to “I’m No Michaelangelo”

  1. Pseu October 16, 2013 at 14:51 #

    Where in your neck?
    I’m guessing swollen glands, not goitre. But self diagnosis not to be dismissed….


    • The Laughing Housewife October 16, 2013 at 15:06 #

      Left side, just under the jaw.


      • Pseu October 16, 2013 at 16:12 #

        I doubt so much that you need to worry about goitre 🙂

        Teeth all right? If gland swollen in the area under the jawbone could be you have an infection in your mouth, a dental problem or a blocked salivary gland, or even just you are generally a little run down….

        If it doesn’t improve see a doc, please.


        • The Laughing Housewife October 16, 2013 at 16:20 #

          Teeth are fine – well, as fine as my manky teeth ever are…though they were hurting last week. Not now, though.

          I have an appointment next week so I’ll mention it.

          Thanks 🙂


  2. Karen Snyder October 16, 2013 at 14:52 #

    This definitely resides in the “if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry” category! Been here, done this, and I KNOW that unexplained allergic manifestations on one’s face and scalp are no laughing matter. Kudos for keeping it all in perspective, and be assured that this, too, shall pass. 🙂 Hugs!


  3. Terry October 16, 2013 at 15:02 #

    I thought I was going to crack up laughing when you said it was stretching its legs. I hope it goes a way for you seriously!!


  4. laurieanichols October 16, 2013 at 15:05 #

    Oh poor you, I have been there and done that. I had an infected cyst at the base of my neck in the back and it HURT. I also had the horrible allergic reaction on my face where my skin was all blistered and felt on fire for days. I hope that you rest yourself into feeling better. Poor Tilly 😦 I am sad for you. 😦


    • The Laughing Housewife October 16, 2013 at 15:07 #

      Actually, you just made me feel tons better, because your symptoms were WAY worse than mine 😀


      • laurieanichols October 16, 2013 at 15:10 #

        I am so happy that I made you feel better, that was my intent. I would never wish what I had on anyone, especially my Tilly. 🙂 Feel better and rest. xoxox


  5. thehutts October 16, 2013 at 16:09 #

    Maybe you should try an Aloe Vera moisturiser rather than vaesline which is petroleum based. Hope you feel better soon. Sally


  6. slpmartin October 16, 2013 at 16:21 #

    Hope it’s nothing serious, but do think you should monitor it carefully and get to a doctor if it doesn’t improve…take good care.


  7. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com October 16, 2013 at 17:04 #

    Whatever it is, show it to your doctor. The internet is all very well, but we can’t SEE you.
    Hope you’re better soon. Luv’n’hugs, ViV


  8. adinparadise October 16, 2013 at 18:36 #

    I thought that maybe I really shouldn’t ‘Like’ this post, but if it will cheer you up a bit, I will. Hope the lump disappears as fast as it appeared. xx


    • The Laughing Housewife October 16, 2013 at 19:08 #

      Thanks, but it won’t be until next year, when he goes to…oh, I see what you were saying now 🙂


  9. SchmidleysScribbling October 16, 2013 at 18:53 #

    Ewwwww Too scary. What does Spud say?


  10. Janie Jones October 16, 2013 at 22:41 #

    Ewwww! Gross. I am so sorry, it sounds horrible in every sense. But it also makes me feel compelled to tell my own gross story:

    Many years ago I had a bad cold, and whether by coincidence or as a side effect, I ended up with a stone in my salivary gland. However, I didn’t know this was what happened until after the fact. At first it didn’t hurt much, but after the cold symptoms had passed and I thought I was all better I just woke up one morning fine and by mid day I had a lump about the size and shape of an extra large egg under my jaw (left side as well, but that’s probably coincidence). Of course all this transpired at work, and I didn’t really have much time to think about what to do, and my primary mode of handling illness is to give it a day or two and see what happens. So that night I as I contemplated whether or not to be getting truly concerned I applied some hot compresses, and massaged it a bit, then all of the sudden it began to hurt under my tongue. So I went to look in the mirror and lo and behold the swelling in my neck was rapidly dissipating, but now I had this sharp pain when I moved my tongue and swallowed. It was right under my tongue, no where else. So I poked at the spot where it hurt, and felt this tiny but hard lump near the opening of my salivary gland. Simultaneously worried and intrigued I got a pin, sterilized it, stuck it in the opening of the gland, then wiggled it a round a bit, then took it out massaged the area rigorously and an honest to goodness stone came out. It was about two or three times the size of a poppy seed, and a beige-ish color. The remaining swelling went away almost instantly and the pain was gone. I’ve never had that problem again. But for the longest time I saved the stone in a shot glass on the bathroom counter.

    And that’s way more personal information that the blogosphere really needed about Janie Jones, but what are friends for if not to share disgusting illness stories….

    Hope you feel better soonest!


    • The Laughing Housewife October 17, 2013 at 10:26 #

      Good grief! I am both horrified and impressed. I’m hompressed. Can’t believe you cured yourself like that. Kudos!


  11. benzeknees October 16, 2013 at 23:23 #

    I’m sorry you’re not feeling well with your lump! Get better soon!


  12. Rorybore October 17, 2013 at 02:40 #

    I remember my sister used her professional make up kit to do my wedding make up. I never even thought to ask what brand it was. And sure enough – 3 days into my honeymoon, my normally peaches and cream become greasy pizza. horrifying. needless to say there are no (surviving) honeymoon pics.
    Hope you feel better soon,
    but if you turn into a zombie……I totally want to see a picture, okay? 😉


  13. Three Well Beings October 19, 2013 at 07:17 #

    I hope you’re feeling better by now. I suspect teeth, too, but as difficult as self-diagnosis is, diagnosing continent to continent doesn’t seem too wise either. I hope it just goes away! And wherever did you find your illustration/statue. If you feel that poorly, you need a hug!


    • The Laughing Housewife October 19, 2013 at 08:33 #

      I’ve used it many times! I came across it once when writing about my teeth and I re-use it at every opportunity 🙂



  1. The Thinker & Me | Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me - January 16, 2014

    […] I’m No Michaelangelo | The Laughing Housewife […]


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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