I’m feeling a little weary today
I wrote this post earlier but decided to let it stew for a bit because it is
so full of self-pity and poor-meism. I had decided not to post it at
all when it occurred to me that sometimes I present a false image of
myself (fancy someone doing that on the internet…); that if you take
this blog at its word, everything in the Tilly garden is rosy and that I
face problems with stoicism and humour.
Which I do, of course, but not until I’ve had a large, private dose of
self-pity and poor-meism. Then I joke about it and move on.
That false image is unfair to you, I think. Like the supermodels I so
closely resemble, I show you the airbrushed version of my life – and
my personality, if I’m honest. In reality, I’m as grumpy and self-pitying
as the rest of you. So here’s an honest piece of writing.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
[I have decided not to link this post with Six Word Saturday. My
regular readers will get when I’m joking; my irregular readers might not.]
Because I’ve had one thing after another, I haven’t participated in Six Word Saturday for a couple of months. I was determined to participate today and in my head, I wrote a particularly funny post for you about visiting the doctor. However, my brain doesn’t have a sense of humour today, being too taken up with self-pity, so you get this instead. Sorry.
The painful lump in my neck turned out to be one of two swollen lymph nodes. The on-call doctor did a thorough examination, history, etc., and concluded it was an infection of indeterminate origin. She checked all areas where swollen lymph nodes might appear (there were no others). She took blood there and then, so the results will be back in time for my scheduled appointment with my regular doctor next week. She recommended a dental check up in case it was my teeth causing the infection – a distinct possibility: despite regular check ups, careful oral hygiene and lots of wishing it don’t be so, I do have a lot of teeth problems, as you know.
I went straight into the dentist’s, a couple of doors down, as soon as I came out of the doctor’s. I explained the situation and that the doctor wanted me to see the dentist before next Thursday’s appointment, so it could be ruled out (or in). This is where it got awkward: not knowing I was going to be unwell, I have a full diary next week; I could do Monday morning or all-day Tuesday, and that was it. The wonderful receptionist, Alison, laughingly tut-tutted at my lack of prophetic skills and squeezed in a twenty-minute appointment on Tuesday afternoon. I have had so many emergency appointments over the years, it wouldn’t surprise me if Alison pencilled them in in advance, to be on the safe side.
The doc prescribed a course of amoxicillin and I started it immediately. Within 24 hours I was feeling a lot better; today, there’s no pain and I can move my neck normally again. That’s when I noticed the nausea. It has lasted all day and reminds me of being pregnant (not a possibility – I had an ultrasound last week over an unrelated matter and there was no waving baby in sight). I checked the amoxicillin’s contraindications – 1 in 1000 people experience nausea as a side-effect. I have never had that problem before with penicillin; but that’s the sort of year I’m having.
So, yes, I am a little fed up today. I’m sick of feeling sick and run down and not being in the mood to blog, supposing I had the energy, which I hardly have had lately (though it doesn’t appear to have affected my ability to write long-winded, meandering sentences).
I’m off to count my blessings, however, beginning with:
- A free healthcare system which ensures I get good treatment despite having no money.
- It’s not serious (thanks to modern medicine); it’s just a little wearisome because it’s the latest in a long line of small ailments.
- The Hub. As some of you may have guessed, he’s rather nice, especially when I don’t feel well and despite his own long-term condition.*
- My blog. It means I can feel sorry for myself in front of a worldwide audience.
- My readers, many of whom have real problems, not least of which is no access to decent health care; and some of whom are dealing with dreadful illnesses and conditions and only wish they felt just a little weary; and all of whom will rush to leave supportive comments.
If I didn’t feel so guilty, I’d feel better already.
*Good grief! I must be sick! I said something nice about the Hub. I’m scared.