I’m feeling a little weary today
I wrote this post earlier but decided to let it stew for a bit because it is
so full of self-pity and poor-meism. I had decided not to post it at
all when it occurred to me that sometimes I present a false image of
myself (fancy someone doing that on the internet…); that if you take
this blog at its word, everything in the Tilly garden is rosy and that I
face problems with stoicism and humour.
Which I do, of course, but not until I’ve had a large, private dose of
self-pity and poor-meism. Then I joke about it and move on.
That false image is unfair to you, I think. Like the supermodels I so
closely resemble, I show you the airbrushed version of my life – and
my personality, if I’m honest. In reality, I’m as grumpy and self-pitying
as the rest of you. So here’s an honest piece of writing.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
[I have decided not to link this post with Six Word Saturday. My
regular readers will get when I’m joking; my irregular readers might not.]
Because I’ve had one thing after another, I haven’t participated in Six Word Saturday for a couple of months. I was determined to participate today and in my head, I wrote a particularly funny post for you about visiting the doctor. However, my brain doesn’t have a sense of humour today, being too taken up with self-pity, so you get this instead. Sorry.
The painful lump in my neck turned out to be one of two swollen lymph nodes. The on-call doctor did a thorough examination, history, etc., and concluded it was an infection of indeterminate origin. She checked all areas where swollen lymph nodes might appear (there were no others). She took blood there and then, so the results will be back in time for my scheduled appointment with my regular doctor next week. She recommended a dental check up in case it was my teeth causing the infection – a distinct possibility: despite regular check ups, careful oral hygiene and lots of wishing it don’t be so, I do have a lot of teeth problems, as you know.
I went straight into the dentist’s, a couple of doors down, as soon as I came out of the doctor’s. I explained the situation and that the doctor wanted me to see the dentist before next Thursday’s appointment, so it could be ruled out (or in). This is where it got awkward: not knowing I was going to be unwell, I have a full diary next week; I could do Monday morning or all-day Tuesday, and that was it. The wonderful receptionist, Alison, laughingly tut-tutted at my lack of prophetic skills and squeezed in a twenty-minute appointment on Tuesday afternoon. I have had so many emergency appointments over the years, it wouldn’t surprise me if Alison pencilled them in in advance, to be on the safe side.
The doc prescribed a course of amoxicillin and I started it immediately. Within 24 hours I was feeling a lot better; today, there’s no pain and I can move my neck normally again. That’s when I noticed the nausea. It has lasted all day and reminds me of being pregnant (not a possibility – I had an ultrasound last week over an unrelated matter and there was no waving baby in sight). I checked the amoxicillin’s contraindications – 1 in 1000 people experience nausea as a side-effect. I have never had that problem before with penicillin; but that’s the sort of year I’m having.
So, yes, I am a little fed up today. I’m sick of feeling sick and run down and not being in the mood to blog, supposing I had the energy, which I hardly have had lately (though it doesn’t appear to have affected my ability to write long-winded, meandering sentences).
I’m off to count my blessings, however, beginning with:
- A free healthcare system which ensures I get good treatment despite having no money.
- It’s not serious (thanks to modern medicine); it’s just a little wearisome because it’s the latest in a long line of small ailments.
- The Hub. As some of you may have guessed, he’s rather nice, especially when I don’t feel well and despite his own long-term condition.*
- My blog. It means I can feel sorry for myself in front of a worldwide audience.
- My readers, many of whom have real problems, not least of which is no access to decent health care; and some of whom are dealing with dreadful illnesses and conditions and only wish they felt just a little weary; and all of whom will rush to leave supportive comments.
If I didn’t feel so guilty, I’d feel better already.
*
*Good grief! I must be sick! I said something nice about the Hub. I’m scared.
Sorry to hear about the health problems…always seems like the problems come in groups…take good care of yourself and prayers for a speedy recovery.
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Thank you!
You see, I knew you’d say something supportive 🙂
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Have you been tested for Lupus? Or the other thing where you feel tired all the time & for years no one knew it was a real illness & whose name I can’t think of right now? Or mononucleosis? Some of these things could lead to longterm health issues. Please feel better soon Tilly!
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Thanks, BZ. Are you thinking of ME? The Hub has that.
I think I’ve just been run down since having the flu in February on top of a very busy year.
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Yes, I was thinking of YOU Tilly. Which one does your hubby have?
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ME 🙂 Myalgic Encephalitis, aka Chronic Fatigue Syndrome 🙂
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That’s the name I was looking for: fatigue! Sorry about hubby, let’s hope you feel better soon!
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Things could be worse… what if you were expecting triplets?
Take care and rest plenty. Enjoy Hub hugs, some of us don’t have that when we need it!
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More guilt! 🙂
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I keep getting strange red bumps that itch..can you add that to your list of ailments as I don’t want them so I am giving them away free with a box of Maltesers…..to you!
seriously I am so sorry that you are down in the dumps…but if you had my red bumps you would have something to scratch!
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Not fleas, I hope? You do take in a lot of strays 🙂
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why am I waiting to be modified ?
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Dunno! Tweren’t me!
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Aw, Tilly… sorry to see you’re feeling a little under the weather. The only good thing about feeling off, is how good you feel when you’re well again! Hope you’re feeling much better soon.
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You’re a silver lining kind of guy, Tom. I like that 🙂
Just reading your blog, btw; so it was funny to click on the icon and hear from you.
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Those coincidences never end!
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I will pray that the lump is nothing serious. that you have down times sort of makes me feel better. By this I mean you do have a bad day now and then like me. You really aren’t cheerful and funny each day. I now give you the stamp of normalcy!!!!! big hugs, cheer up, we love you!!!!
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Hooray! That’s what I was going for! There’s nothing worse than someone who seems to have it all together, making the rest of us feel awful 🙂
If I’m honest, I’ve had a lot of down days this year – and those are the days I don’t blog.
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Dearest Linda, I know the feeling .. sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m glad that you’re feeling a lot better and that the medicine works. I’m glad you put us readers last on your list *smile … otherwise I would have been worried and I’m sure that Hub will survive some nice things said about him. Take it easy now.
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I feel bad complaining because I know your health problems have been much worse than mine; but the point of this post is to show what a whinger I really am 🙂
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No, No … No,
My medicine is working to some degree .. and I have sore butt and you have a sore neck, same – same. *smile
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XXX
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Carry on whinging – you’re entitled. I didn’t click like, because I DON’T like it when you’re poorly.
xox and big hugz
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Thanks xxxxxxxxxxxx
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aw feel well soon, sounds like you have a bit of the ill blues. maybe take some time to regroup and nurture yourself x
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Thanks! Sounds like a good idea 🙂
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Not everyone sees complaining (whining) from the same vantage point:
“If I’m not complaining, I’m not having a good time, hah hah!” ~ Martin Scorsese
Once in awhile it does a body good to get it out of their system, and then move on. Glad the meds are helping and I predict you’ll soon bounce back and be your old laughing self. 🙂
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Thanks, Karen! Reading these comments has already put me in a great mood. I love my readers!
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Ah don’t feel bad…..or rather, badly…..about, well – feeling bad. I have had various small, more nagging than true pain, ailments for about a year – and it absolutely gets to you every now and then. This thing: just never quite feeling 100%. It can make me blue and down in the dumps as well. And I just do the same thing as you; try to remember to count my blessings and be grateful that none of them are anything too serious.
And between you and me, Real People have moments like this, and probably often! I can’t stand the fairies and pixiedust and unicorns farting rainbows BS that some people make their life to be. Thank you for being authentic! And Feel better soon. xx
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Poor Roryneverabore! It is miserable, isn’t it? And feeling bad for feeling bad when so many people have much worse conditions.
What does your doctor say about it all?
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A life well lived is better than the air brushed kind. We all need a good moan now and then.
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Thanks, Dianne! The Hub would say a moan is what I’m particularly good at 🙂
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I’ve been there too recently and it’s okay to be honest. Authenticity is a trait I admire. I’m sending you much love and many blessings for a speedy recovery.
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Thank you, Timethief. Hope you are all better now.
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I hope you feel much better soon and that the doctor/dentist determines the source of your infection, or it might come back after you stop the antibiotics. By the way, I think the #1 side effect of antibiotics is an upset stomach, so don’t let the side effect papers tell you it’s not common. But they do work well when you need them. 🙂
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They do – as I know! So many teeth infections as I’ve had 🙂
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Oh sweet Tilly, even when you are feeling ill, you make me laugh. I hope that the tests show a simple bacterial infection that a strong regimen of antibiotics will eliminate.I say bacterial because viral has to be waited out since antibiotics don’t work on them. Trust me I know, my health issue for the moment is chronic shingles, virus. I didn’t find your post to be full of self pity or woe is meism, I instead found honesty. You aren’t like your fellow supermodels and airbrushed, we love knowing everything about you. I hope that you feel better and that it has nothing to do with your teeth, you definitely have been through enough with your teeth. I’m glad that the Hub is holding your hand and taking care of you. 🙂
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Thank you, Laurie. This is exactly what I mean about readers with worse health problems reassuring me. I’m too selfish to mind 🙂
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I’m happy to be there for you 🙂
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Dearest Tilly, I’m so sorry that you’re not feeling your boisterously cheerful self at the moment. Sending you tons of positive thoughts and oodles of love. Feel better soon. *hugs*
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I’m boisterous? I love that!
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🙂
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PS: I just popped back to like your post, even though I didn’t like it. I thought it might cheer you up a bit. 😀
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I like your thinking 🙂
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Thank you, ADIP 🙂
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Even super-models get a bug now and then!
I’m with Laurie Nichols, above, saying that even when you are sick, you are hilarious. I’m so sorry you don’t feel very good, but lady, you are a master at humor, infecting us all with a good ol’ laugh or two, at your own expense, in a way that we, over here, call “dry, British humor” and we so appreciate and we so cannot figure out HOW YOU DO IT.
Much love and prayers that you find the way back to great health, Friend.
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Thank you, Katherine 🙂 x
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Rest up and feel better Tilly. Sending hugs across the seas.
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Thank you, Georgia 🙂
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There’s nothing wrong with having a good old moan – and I think you have every right to do it. Of course, being such a perpetually cheery sort of person ( 😉 ), you even moan with a sense of humour! Hope you start feeling better soon.
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Hope you get over
yourself soon
xxx
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Thinking of you! I hope this is a minor ailment and that your good humour will return shortly. Best of luck for your tests.
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Oh Tilly Bud Tilly Bud. Here’s me trying not to post about MY week of nausea, and you go and post about YOUR week… Pfff…
I might as well go and post about MY non-specific illness… harrumph….
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You might as well; there’s a lot of us about 🙂
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I hope that you are feeling even better by the time the late kid has finally gotten to this post.
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Thanks, D 🙂
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I hope this week brings the answers to your health woes. When we don’t feel well, it is a huge reminder how we often take good health for granted. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping things take a huge swing to the better this week.
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Thank you 🙂
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Sorry you’re still feeling under the weather.
And, of course your loyal readers want to know all about the real you… it makes us feel better about ourselves. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* 🙂
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Did you ever find out why your lymph nodes were swollen?
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An infection, but they don’t know what caused it. Antibiotics cleared it.
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Well, that works. 🙂
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