Joke 941

20 Oct

From the top fifty jokes of all time (until the next top fifty list is compiled)

Little Shriner and member of the Tommy Cooper ...

Little Shriner and member of the Tommy Cooper Society (Photo credit: Kathleen Tyler Conklin)

*

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week.  I phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

Peter Kay

Police arrested two kids yesterday.  One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

Tommy Cooper

I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’.  So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Anonymous

Why do men get married?

So they don’t have to hold in their stomachs any more.

Anonymous

Where there’s a will – there’s a relative.

Ricky Gervais

I had a ploughman’s lunch the other day. He wasn’t very happy.

Tommy Cooper

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet…you can hide but you can’t run.

Milton Jones

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14 Responses to “Joke 941”

  1. Terry October 20, 2013 at 04:10 #

    I like the one where there is a will, there is a relative, this is so true

    Like

  2. Katharine Trauger October 20, 2013 at 04:25 #

    Love the second one, although, of course, if it were true it would be too sad…but it’s not, so it’s just my kind of goofy joke! 🙂

    Like

  3. Ann Koplow October 20, 2013 at 04:27 #

    Great! That “anonymous” joke is by the comedian Steven Wright.

    Like

  4. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com October 20, 2013 at 07:33 #

    Classic laughter-makers.

    Like

  5. Grannymar October 20, 2013 at 13:32 #

    You added a giggle to my Sunday! 😀

    Like

  6. SchmidleysScribbling October 20, 2013 at 17:07 #

    A laugh a day. Love the dog in a party hat. Dianne

    Like

  7. slpmartin October 20, 2013 at 18:43 #

    I like the one about the ‘will’ best also.

    Like

  8. benzeknees October 20, 2013 at 19:58 #

    Hope you are feeling better Tilly Bud! Nice way to start my Sunday.

    Like

  9. Viveka October 21, 2013 at 11:07 #

    Top Class …… the will – is my favorite … I hope you feel a lot better today!

    Like

  10. sharechair October 21, 2013 at 11:46 #

    wow… my husband was a sneaky one. After we married, he waited about twenty years, THEN he let his stomach go.

    Like

  11. sanstorm October 21, 2013 at 14:24 #

    These were good.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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