Dog’s Life

Read Tinman’s brilliant take on the stupidity of dog owners.

Worth Doing Badly

She was dozing happily in the sun when she heard the sounds, the sounds that she had heard so often before. The yelp of terror, the whirring of a rope uncoiling, the thump of someone hitting dry earth, and the echoing clank of the same someone being hit on the head by a tin bucket.

Timmy had fallen down the well again.

Lassie sighed, climbed to her paws, and set off to let somebody know.

Other dogs didn’t have to put up with this crap, she told herself. Timmy and his four owners spent each summer holiday in search of dark catacombs, hidden treasure, and high teas. Snoopy spent most of his life asleep on top his kennel. The Hound of the Baskervilles (or Snuffles, as all they knew him) got to terrorise the entire Devonshire moors with his huge footprints, flame-red eyes and blood-freezing late-night yowl.

Lassie, however, got to be…

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Joke 949

Ask a dog to change a light bulb…

Funny Dog Door Mat (Photo credit: pberry)

• Golden Retriever: The sun is shining the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
• Border Collie: Just one?  And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
• Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
• Rottweiler: Make me.
• 

  Funny dog (Photo credit: kattebelletje)

  Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

• Labrador: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?  Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
• German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven’t missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
• Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
• Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? What light bulb?  I can’t see anything.
• Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still mess on the carpet in the dark.
• Yorkshire Terrier: Sure; let me just bark and bark and bark at it first. Where’s my treat?
• Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there…
• Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
• Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
• Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it.  By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

A funny picture of a cat on streets in Riga, Latvia. Visit http://www.startlatvia.com for more information about Latvia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Cat’s Answer: ‘Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs.  

So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?’

Proving once again that, while dogs have masters, cats have staff.

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From a jokeaday.com