Joke 951

30 Oct
Drink Coffee Stupid

Drink Coffee Stupid (Photo credit: chuckyeager)

Dianne over at Schmidleys Scribbling tells me They Walk Among Us…

*

A man bought a new fridge for his house.  To  get  rid of his old fridge, he put it in  his front yard  and hung a sign on it  saying: ‘Free to good  home. You want it,  you take it.’

For three days  the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.

He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal, so he changed the  sign to read: ‘Fridge for  sale $50.’

The  next day, someone  stole it.

*

One   day I was walking down the beach  with some  friends when someone  shouted, ‘Look at that dead bird!’

Someone looked up at the sky and said, ‘Where?’

They  walk among  us!   

*

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’

My  brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime.  She shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff…’

They  walk among  us!

*

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard a girl  talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the  beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said she ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.’

They  walk among  us!   

*

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.  Just to be sure, he went  around the block and passed the same spot,  driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he  passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled  past, this time at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.                                                               
                                                                              
They walk among us. 

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14 Responses to “Joke 951”

  1. Terry October 30, 2013 at 04:16 #

    that first one about the fridge reminded me of today. yesterday I put out my old computer desk chair. It worked great but beginning to show its wear. I put a sign on it 10.00. No one bothered. Today a took the sign off. As I was walking up to the house with the sign in my hand a truck came by and said we were waiting for you to get smart and take that 10.00 sign off and just give it a way. i wanted to slap him as he loaded it in his truck

    Like

  2. misswhiplash October 30, 2013 at 06:48 #

    Great laugh

    Like

  3. Sara October 30, 2013 at 07:42 #

    I almost spilt coffee on the keyboard (and probably woke up housemate laughing out loud). These are fantastic! Thank you 🙂

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife October 30, 2013 at 09:20 #

      Thanks for sharing your reaction – made my day 🙂

      Like

      • Sara October 30, 2013 at 09:53 #

        I was trying to be quiet… but then I read the one about avoiding sunburns by being on a moving car. Priceless.

        Like

  4. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com October 30, 2013 at 08:58 #

    Every one a gem, including the cartoon. Some belly laughs here!

    Like

  5. sharechair October 30, 2013 at 13:18 #

    These are so good. Looking up for the dead bird made me giggle.

    Like

  6. Katharine Trauger October 30, 2013 at 13:27 #

    Well, I didn’t get to you until this morning. Drinking coffee. Reading faster. 😉

    Like

  7. slpmartin October 30, 2013 at 18:28 #

    Oh….got a good laugh out of these…thanks made the morning coffee better.

    Like

  8. Grannymar October 30, 2013 at 18:30 #

    Excellent! I particularly liked the last one!

    Like

  9. SchmidleysScribbling October 30, 2013 at 19:02 #

    Ha Ha, I like the last one best too, although the first one is also funny. Dianne

    Like

  10. colonialist October 30, 2013 at 23:36 #

    Very scary. Some people ARE that stupid!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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