Joke 957

5 Nov
Funny Church Signs

Funny Church Signs (Photo credit: au_tiger01)

Church Bulletins are back! Thanks to Charlie at Read Between The Minds.

You may recognise a few but they are worth repeating.

  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  • Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
  • During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
  • Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

    Funny Church Signs

    Funny Church Signs (Photo credit: au_tiger01)

  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
  • Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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12 Responses to “Joke 957”

  1. letstalkaboutfamily November 5, 2013 at 04:45 #

    These are all very funny. Here I sit all alone laughing out loud! Thanks!

    Like

  2. slpmartin November 5, 2013 at 05:31 #

    Funny…each time I read these I laugh.

    Like

  3. Cathy November 5, 2013 at 06:27 #

    As you say – they are definitely worth repeating
    I might even repeat a few myself if that’s ok with you
    Cathy

    Like

  4. Elaine - I used to be indecisive November 5, 2013 at 09:18 #

    Definitely worth repeating. 😀

    Like

  5. Sara November 5, 2013 at 09:19 #

    I love the rummage sales… And the last one… All of them really 🙂 Cheers!

    Like

  6. colonialist November 5, 2013 at 10:29 #

    Classics. One can’t help thinking that the ones alluding to the sermons are Freudian slips!

    Like

  7. Al November 5, 2013 at 13:46 #

    OK. You got me on these. I was so busy laughing at these gems I couldn’t even post a smart*ss comment.

    Like

  8. Three Well Beings November 5, 2013 at 23:08 #

    These are just hilarous! Each of them. I loved, “Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.” Unbelievable…except that I do!

    Like

  9. Grannymar November 7, 2013 at 20:44 #

    ‘Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.’ – How big are the envelopes? 😯

    Like

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