Joke 958

6 Nov

More church notices, thanks to Charlie.

Funny Church Signs

Funny Church Signs (Photo credit: au_tiger01)

  • Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
  • Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours’.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

    church sign

    church sign (Photo credit: chiptape)

  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  • The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
  • The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
  • The speaker for tonight’s meeting will be pinned to the notice board.
  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  • The Lutheran men’s group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

10 Responses to “Joke 958”

  1. November 6, 2013 at 04:04 #

    “The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.” I am bringing some of my single friends ok???


  2. slpmartin November 6, 2013 at 04:15 #

    Oh…I still laugh as I read these…so glad you elected to share them.


  3. Terry November 6, 2013 at 04:54 #

    I am still laughing. these rock!!!!


  4. katharinetrauger November 6, 2013 at 05:17 #

    Oh, dear–to pick a favorite! Umm…I think it’s “searching for Jesus”.

    As the one who types the bulletin for our church, I cringe when I read these things. I know it’s so easy to make such a blunder. One time I had the thing all done and we experienced an electrical power outage. Later, when all returned, I saved the rescued comment and not until everything was printed on Sunday morn did I realize I’d lost all changes from the previous Sunday and all the hymns, announcements, and prayer requests were week-old info. Sometimes it’s really funny. Other times, folks cannot figure how there could be mistakes. They just haven’t tried the job. 🙂


    • katharinetrauger November 6, 2013 at 05:18 #

      P.S. You were an hour early this time, so I assume you all do not fiddle with daylight savings time…?


  5. November 6, 2013 at 07:45 #

    Worth repeating. Some good laughs there.


  6. colonialist November 6, 2013 at 09:55 #

    I do like the idea of greeting someone who doesn’t care much about you with a friendly, ‘Hell!’ 🙂


  7. Janie Jones November 6, 2013 at 11:17 #

    LOL! Very funny indeed.


  8. adinparadise November 7, 2013 at 02:08 #

    Love the billboard, but have to disagree with the sentiment expressed there. 🙂


  9. Grannymar November 7, 2013 at 20:53 #

    Hymn singing in the park sounds like fun.


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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