As a doctor I routinely get woken up during the night. One night a guy calls me at 3:30 in the morning and starts screaming that his wife’s appendix is inflamed.
I said calmly, “I took out your wife’s appendix last year. Have you ever heard of having a second appendix?”
He yells at me,”Have you ever heard of having a second wife?”
A couple were driving their teenage daughter to the hospital, where she was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. They discussed how the procedure would be performed.
“Dad,” the teenager asked, “how are they going to get me to keep my mouth open the whole time?”
Her father replied, “They’re going to give you a phone.”