Just So You Know…

scary candy (Photo credit: bunchofpants)

…I don’t want to frighten you, but there are only twenty more jokes to be told before I reach my target of telling a joke a day for 1001 days.

I thought I’d better mention it.

Joke 981

Thanks to Siggi of Maine for forwarding these. The original author is Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA.

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One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.  

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’

funny doctors and nurse (Photo credit: ReSurge International)

 
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.

‘Big breaths,’ I instructed. 

‘Yes, they used to be,’ replied the patient.