Thanks to Siggi of Maine for forwarding these. The original author is Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.
‘Big breaths,’ I instructed.
‘Yes, they used to be,’ replied the patient.