Edward Lear, the 19th Century landscape artist, once wrote of a favourite duchess who gave magnificent dinner parties, attended by the highest society.
One night whilst entertaining, she let out a huge fart and quickly focused her gaze on Hawkins the Butler, standing behind her.
“Hawkins!” she cried, “Stop that!”
“Certainly, Your Grace,” Hawkins replied with dignity, “Which way did it go?”
Jokes from the archive:
What sound do toddler owls make?
Somebody’s just thrown a massive lump of cheese at me!
I thought to myself, that’s not very mature.
At a wedding reception recently someone yelled, “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”
The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
My mate’s wife left him last Thursday; she said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back.
I asked him how he was coping and he said, “Not bad, I’ve been using that powdered stuff.”