Joke 989

7 Dec

A Beagle dropped the Kindle he was biting and said to the Boxer,

“Go ahead take it. Call me old fashioned but I still prefer a real book.”

*

A sign of the times:

I swore at the judge and he downloaded the eBook at me.

*

Kindle: A popular eBook reader.

Nook: Where you hide your Kindle from your kids.

*

From klerosier.com

That was SO funny!!

That was SO funny!! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

More from the archive:

*

The barn at Larry and Susan’s farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company.

Susan: “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.”

Agent: “Wait just a minute, Susan…it doesn’t work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.”

Susan, after a pause: “I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”

*

A man took his dog to the vet. 

“My dog is cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for him?” he asked.

“Well,” said the vet, “let’s take a look at him.”  He picked the dog up and examined his eyes, then checked his teeth.  Finally he said, “I’m going to have to put him down.”

“What?” asked the distraught man.  “Because he’s cross-eyed?”

“No,” replied the vet, “because he’s really heavy.”

*

Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says to them, “Get out. We don’t serve your type in here.”

*

OLD IS WHEN…
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘ Pick one; I can’t do both.’

*

I’ve been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest, I only intended to rough him up a bit.

bank charges ATM cash machine cartoon funny DS...

bank charges ATM cash machine cartoon funny DSCN9568 (Photo credit: DrJohnBullas)

 

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6 Responses to “Joke 989”

  1. vastlycurious.com December 7, 2013 at 04:21 #

    Sandpaper : )

    Like

  2. SchmidleysScribbling December 7, 2013 at 14:27 #

    I like the yawning cat. Dianne

    Like

  3. mairedubhtx December 7, 2013 at 16:09 #

    Loved the Kindle/Nook joke.

    Like

  4. Grannymar December 7, 2013 at 22:01 #

    Always good to check your insurance! 😉

    Like

  5. anotherday2paradise December 8, 2013 at 13:32 #

    Love the vet joke. 😀

    Like

  6. benzeknees December 10, 2013 at 00:22 #

    I have to put him down – he’s heavy!

    Like

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Nicola Hulme Author

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