A Dry Write Season

17 Apr

I haven’t written a post in thirteen days; and if you haven’t noticed, then I haven’t written a decent recent post.

I don’t believe in Writer’s Block, preferring to call the occasional arid periods in which my fingers take on all the attributes of blank paper with none of its promise – rather like a British tabloid newspaper – ‘dry spells’.  I know I could write something if I neck a bottle of wine in one sitting; but you might not like what I’ve written.  Or understand it, come to that.  Rather like a British tabloid newspaper.

Fortunately, WordPress has been watching me (I knew it!) and sent me a prompt post entitled Five Posts to Write Right Now:

Mired in bloggers’ block? Pshaw — we’ll give you a push! Here are five posts you can publish right now, no matter what topics you usually blog about.

Thank you, WordPress; that’s really thoughtful of you.

1. The last thing that made you mad.

I can’t believe WordPress is spying on me!  What business is it of theirs if I don’t write for two weeks or two years?  Pshaw!

2. Your typical childhood lunch.

Large.

3. An ode to an object.

An Ode To WordPress, The Object Of My Affliction

When I don’t write
You prompt me to
Bloggers not blogging
don’t reflect well on you

When I do write
You spy on me
I must object
Tremendously

But let’s be fair
This ode is crap
Are you really sure
You want me back?

4. Self-psychoanalysis via your bookshelf or Spotify playlists.

Spotify?

I’ve seen it on Facebook as in Suchabody Withnolifetospeakof is listening to Songs For Those Too Lazy To Share The Dull Minutiae Of Their Lives Via Blogs Like I Do on Spotify.

Take the five books on your nightstand, the last five songs you listened to, the last five movies you watched or the last five blog posts you liked — what do they say about you? 

Three Brenda Jagger novels, Siegfried Sassoon’s War Poems and the Bible:

  • Lives in the past; hopes for the future.

Prepare Ye, Beautiful City, Day By Day, All For The Best, By My Side:

  • Lives in the recent past; hopes for the son’s future.

The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation, Dumb & Dumber.

  • Loves a good romance.

Posts I Like – I have to be discreet here so as not to offend anyone by not including them, so I’ll go for generic subjects instead of specific posts:

  • Hairless cats (funny)
  • Doctor Who (essential)
  • The return of old bloggers (old as in been around a long time, not old as in been around a long time)
  • Boobs with belly buttons (we’re back to the future again)
  • Jolly good news (even more essential than fictional doctors)

5. A mad lib.

I know mad libs are (is?) some weird American traditional game played at Thanksgiving and when the internet is down, but that’s all I know, so we’re back to dry spotify again.

Thanks for nothing, WordPress.

 

 

 

 

 

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50 Responses to “A Dry Write Season”

  1. slpmartin April 17, 2014 at 14:52 #

    Cannot help with writing topics..ah…but with Madlibs a demonstration might be appropriate…so take a look at this post. http://dadpoet.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/mad-libs-for-fathers-day/…a fellow poet.

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife April 17, 2014 at 15:06 #

      Thanks! I know him 🙂

      Like

    • David J. Bauman April 24, 2014 at 18:24 #

      Ha! Thanks, Charles! I was just thinking I should send her a link to the way my family does it. Though they do change the name and make me blind read this stuff on camera, so some of it might be how to punish dad while he thinks he’s being cool and catch it all on camera. 😉

      Like

  2. misswhiplash April 17, 2014 at 14:56 #

    Mmmmm none of those would inspire me to put finger to dashboard….
    once upon a time it was important to write a post but now I just write when the spirit takes me and I feel that I have something worth saying which is not very often. I still read and comment

    Like

  3. Al April 17, 2014 at 15:11 #

    To be fair to WordPress, I’m the one who told them you were slacking off.

    Like

  4. laurieanichols April 17, 2014 at 15:30 #

    I don’t care what you write about, I just love reading(hearing) your voice!!!! As usual you had me laughing out loud and just so very happy connecting with you. I missed you!!!!! xoxox

    Like

  5. judyt54 April 17, 2014 at 16:32 #

    You may just be recharging those batteries, Tilly The way the flashlight batteries die if you use it too often and leave it on in your purse (you know how dark it gets in there), sooner or later you find yourself staring into the dark at the top of strange stairs, with a cold flashlight that keeps saying, “click click click click click”

    And welcome back, for however long. Don’t feel obliged to post, just “because”, We’ll wait.

    Like

  6. Grannymar April 17, 2014 at 16:59 #

    Welcome back from wherever you slunk off to. Was it Malteser Land?

    Like

  7. bevchen April 17, 2014 at 17:55 #

    I noticed you hadn’t been around, but couldn’t have told you it had been 13 days 😉

    The ode made me giggle.

    Like

  8. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com April 17, 2014 at 20:20 #

    This is a totally Tillyish post, worth waiting a bit for. You just write when you have something to say and we’ll all come and cheer you on.
    Love,
    ViVx

    Like

  9. SchmidleysScribbling April 17, 2014 at 22:21 #

    I noticed you hadn’t written in a while, but I counted 14 days. I was getting tired of looking at those elephant ears. I don’t know what spotify is.

    Like

  10. sharechair April 18, 2014 at 01:44 #

    You said, “I haven’t written a post in thirteen days; and if you haven’t noticed….”

    I NOTICED!!!!!! So glad to hear from you again. 🙂

    Like

  11. Rorybore April 18, 2014 at 04:25 #

    My son loves Mad Libs. He has these Star Wars ones…. you have to be a 9 year old to get what he writes, but it amuses him and his friends for hours. If I could understand it, there would probably be some great writing material.
    and armpit noises. that’s big too.

    Like

  12. katharinetrauger April 18, 2014 at 04:38 #

    Yep. Mad Libs (are) for kids. Crazy stories with blank lines, into which your friend inserts word types, such as “noun” or “color” to make sentences like: (with “cat” and “purple” for the blank lines:

    Yester day I ate a cat with purple mustard. It makes kids laugh. Amazing the wp advised it for adults?

    Like

  13. bluebee April 18, 2014 at 06:21 #

    Arnie, Dumb & Dumber – both good for a laugh

    Like

  14. McGuffy Ann April 18, 2014 at 07:35 #

    You don’t need to get a sore arm again. I remember when that happened from too much typing. Take a break, and write when you want to. Just keep in touch.

    Like

  15. kateshrewsday April 18, 2014 at 08:52 #

    Never heard of a Mad Lib in my life! Now I’ve learnt something new.

    Like

  16. Janie Jones April 18, 2014 at 11:27 #

    My calculus teacher actually gave us a calculus term Mad Lib last week. It was exceptionally lame and not nearly as entertaining as she seemed to think it was.

    Like

  17. jmgoyder April 18, 2014 at 13:11 #

    I miss you and, even though this sounds weird, I love you Tilly/Linda!

    Like

  18. siggiofmaine April 19, 2014 at 00:48 #

    I DID notice your absence and thought it was me missing the post… I figured I’d wait til today or tomorrow “cause I’d have a whole bunch to read in one sitting! I thought I’d had a brain cramp due to the dissing of my last birthday… which I’ve gotten over and went back to fifty again. My son says 39 which mean I’m younger than he is (47 I think).

    Have no idea what a Mad Lib is…have seen them in the stores, but don’t like games that make me look foolish.

    I myself have taken to irregular postings on my own blog..I just had too many things I wanted to do with art and writing and over-scheduled myself…getting annoyed that every time I “enter” or trying to maneuver thru cyber space a whole new set of ads pops up trying to sell stuff.or telling me I’ve won something. Hog wash to them.

    Thanks for the post…do miss you.

    Peace and love to you and your lovely family,
    Siggi
    (for the “blood Moon” Mother Nature didn’t get the memo it was spring and we had snow on the crocuses !)

    Like

  19. anotherday2paradise April 19, 2014 at 05:48 #

    I did wonder where you’d disappeared to, but knew you’d be back sometime this year. 🙂

    Like

  20. Pseu April 23, 2014 at 23:32 #

    When you can’t write, read 🙂
    and catch up on paperwork. That usually does the trick 🙂

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife April 24, 2014 at 12:42 #

      I’ve been re-working old poems; that helps.

      Like

      • Pseu April 24, 2014 at 19:06 #

        Indeed.
        My favourite kick start is listening to ‘Poetry Please’ or something similar. With a blank piece of paper and a pencil in hand jot down anything that appeals, or ideas this sparks.
        Or go for a walk, and record something on your phone as you walk

        And look here http://fiftytwopoetry.wordpress.com/

        🙂

        Like

  21. benzeknees April 24, 2014 at 00:56 #

    I was the boobs with a belly button! I got mentioned for the first time on your blog! Yeah! Why don’t you write about the courses you’ve been taking at FutureLearn. You were the one got me hooked on this & now I’ve got one going currently with another starting in a week – before I’ve finished the first one!

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife April 24, 2014 at 12:43 #

      *Blush* Because I didn’t finish ANY of them! Life got terribly complicated and I had to abandon some things, including the courses.

      So glad you’re enjoying them.

      Like

  22. David J. Bauman April 24, 2014 at 18:29 #

    Look at all these Tilly Lovers loving you! See, it’s not so bad to be gone a while when you know you are missed. 🙂 My blogging has been a bit more scarce lately, and I haven’t had any of the longer, more “scholarly” posts for some time. This has been a time when I’ve had a lot of home, family and friend stuff going on, as well as my wanting to focus on my own poetry, editing and submissions for a while. I’m still not all in balance with it, but I will be, and you and I need feel no pressure to be anything other than what we need to be. Right? 🙂 As someone already said, your posts are always worth waiting for. Thanks for the little bright spot in my day.

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife April 24, 2014 at 19:47 #

      Aw, bless you!

      You are right, no need to feel pressure. But when people say such nice things, I don’t want to let them down.

      I knew it was a mistake to allow compliments in the comments…

      With blogging, as in life, it’s all about balance, isn’t it?

      Like

  23. Musings April 29, 2014 at 07:38 #

    Love, love, LOVE your poem to WordPress. You are so darn talented!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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