Boromir Fed My Child Last Night

25 Sep

This is absolutely true.

But, as I have mentioned, truth is relative…

Spud went off to Sheffield University on Sunday.  It’s forty minutes away by train; nearly three hours in a car when there’s no direct motorway, you have to trek through the Pennines, and there’s a big event on.  It took two hours to travel two miles at one point.

I have two children, both sons.  For all of the similarities they have, I might as well have a dragon and an iguana: they’re both lizards but you wouldn’t let one of them near your princess or the other your salad.

On their respective first days at university, one child kicked us out the minute the car was empty; the other encouraged us to do his unpacking for him.

One boy enjoyed Freshers’ Week so much, he made a point of going back early in his subsequent years; the other had decided by Tuesday night that he’s not a party-party-party kinda guy.

One son was irritated by the amount of food I insisted he take; the other was irritated that I had only packed enough for one term.

One lad didn’t call home for the first three months and when he did, made Marcel Marceau look like a gossip; the other has called home every day, because he knows we want to hear about all of the interesting things he’s doing.

Spud called today to tell us about meeting his tutor – he and Spud are the only males in a gaggle of girls.  They discussed the psychology of favourite biscuits for thirty minutes.  Looks like it’s going to be an interesting course.

He has signed up for various societies – dramatic, musical theatre, singing…oh, and the psychology society (‘Psychos’) as an afterthought, though he didn’t pay for a three-year membership in case he’s too busy to go because he’s rehearsing.

He mentioned that he had chips on the way home last night.  A small chippy owned by Sean Bean’s family offered free vouchers for chips, paid for by Sean Bean.  Yorkshiremen are renowned for being careful with their money but he obviously broke the stereotype.

I hope Spud gets talent spotted at one of his societies, moves to Hollywood, and pals up with his chip donor so I can finally ask the questions which have niggled me for years: who on earth named Sean Bean?  And why isn’t his name pronounced Shorn Born or Sheen Been?

I’m missing my baby.  I missed my other baby when he first left home; but then he kept coming back between moves, leaving more of his stuff each time.  I don’t have space to miss him at the moment: it’s taken up with boxes of clothes (a lot), books (a library) and Yu-Gi-Oh cards (some children never grow up).  The youngest child has made up for that by taking only what he thought he might need with him (not much); leaving what he wanted to hold on to but which was not essential for uni (even less); and chucking the rest (making a butter mountain look positively frugal).

So, with all of these differences, was my reaction the same to their leaving?  

No, it wasn’t.

With Tory Boy, I was caught up in his excitement and it was only when we said goodbye that I surprised everyone – not least, myself – when I burst into tears.

With Spud, I was tearful all week but didn’t sob (much) at our goodbye because I had become so crippled by holding it all in.  Of course, he didn’t see the tears flow in the car on the way home, having abandoned me for student dissipation.

Such a good look on me, don't you think?

Such a good look on me, don’t you think?

The boys do have some similarities. Tory Boy phoned on Sunday night and we had a conversation that I could have had with either one of them after an upsetting day:

Tory Boy:  I was worried about you; I wanted to know if you’re okay?

Mum:  I’m fine, thank you, sweetie. Managing, anyway.

Tory Boy.  Good, good…so: did you cry more for him or me?

 

 

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35 Responses to “Boromir Fed My Child Last Night”

  1. laurieanichols September 25, 2014 at 16:21 #

    It is so cute how the Hub and you are trying to push your tears back in your head; they need to get out of your eyes because held back tears make for the worst headaches and stomachaches. Aren’t children funny wanting to know who you cried more for, mine are the same and they are not. 😀 Since our musician is home in between going off on his mini tours, having our daughter off in MIami is easier because I have a feeling that she’ll be back as well which is fine by me. It is so much harder for the young folk nowadays to get started out that they need a few more years at home to be able to save money in order to properly start off their life. Your boys are adorable 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife September 25, 2014 at 16:26 #

      Thank you 🙂

      I never wanted to be a mother who kept her children home forever – and I’m not 😉 But the house is empty right now.

      Like you, I find it’s easier when they are back and forth – long enough to enjoy them; short enough that I’m not packing their bags for them 🙂

      Like

      • laurieanichols September 25, 2014 at 16:29 #

        LOL What I miss the most is not having them to cook for or bake for, I suppose that I could always mail them food when they are out on their own for good. lol

        Liked by 1 person

        • The Laughing Housewife September 25, 2014 at 16:37 #

          See, now that’s the thing I DON’T miss! I like to make sure they are fed, but I don’t like the cooking 🙂

          Like

          • laurieanichols September 25, 2014 at 16:41 #

            I miss it terribly, I feel stunted creatively when I go too long without baking something, I have even gone as far as thinking that at some point I am going to make something and drop it off at someone’s house in town anonymously so I don’t create any ideas that it will be an ongoing thing for that person. I probably won’t do it, but the need to bake is strong. I just like having them around, like you do, they are fun to talk to and very nice company. I love being Maman, like you. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • The Laughing Housewife September 25, 2014 at 17:24 #

              I do! If only it wasn’t such hard work 😉

              Is there a homeless shelter you could bake for? Or a retirement home?

              Like

              • laurieanichols September 25, 2014 at 17:37 #

                That’s a good idea though the closest one of either homeless shelter or retirement home is at least an hour away., we live in the country

                Like

  2. Karen Snyder September 25, 2014 at 16:42 #

    I, too, have two boys, but trust me when I say they are quite unalike in nearly everything. I don’t remember too many tears when they left home, but maybe that’s simply because it’s been so very long ago that time has fuzzied my memories a bit. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. vivienne blake September 25, 2014 at 16:55 #

    You are being characteristically stoical. Where is your middle son? (oldest younger youngest) Sorry Tilly, the grammar police is on duty today!
    Love,
    ViV

    Liked by 1 person

  4. slpmartin September 25, 2014 at 17:15 #

    Something so endearing about this post…sweetened my morning coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. misswhiplash September 25, 2014 at 20:30 #

    Oh you poor ole thing..its awful when children leave home and venture out into the big bad world on their own.
    its as bad as the first day of school when they were 5..can you remember that. I cried buckets ….
    the next big event will be girlfriends etc….lots of love P

    Liked by 1 person

  6. SchmidleysScribbling September 25, 2014 at 21:46 #

    Pretty tricky, leaving home. I could hardly wait. I remember Mom following me to the train. I was relieved when it pulled out. Of the station. I was so busy when my kids left home, I hardly noticed. But then I probably wasn’t the best Mom. My daughter has just taken daughter number four to school for year three. So far, all we’ve seen are photos of cows. Joy doesn’t party. When her friends went to Datona last spring, she stayed in the dorm and read a book on anatomy. I understand her best.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. robincoyle September 25, 2014 at 23:18 #

    “Made Marcel Marceau look like a gossip.” Brilliant line. So which one did you cry more for? Come on. You can tell me.

    Like

  8. jmgoyder September 26, 2014 at 13:14 #

    You made me cry with a kind of vicarious pride. What a lovely family you are and you absolutely rock!

    Like

  9. benzeknees September 27, 2014 at 07:24 #

    That’s what Oprah calls the “ugly cry.” I don’t cry cute either. The sooner they grow up the sooner you’ll have grandchildren! Then you’ll have someone to spoil & then give back to their parents!

    Like

  10. siggiofmaine September 30, 2014 at 05:54 #

    i didn’t cry when my son when off to university… too close and seemed to be home more than there..
    BUT
    my first thought when I saw your tearful photo was … OMgoodness… I cried like that when Bret (my son) went off to the US Air Force. When he called to say “hello” I had to be prepared, because that was the amount of conversation….

    Sending you love and hugs tho I know they’d be more welcome from Spud. Much love,
    Siggi

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife October 2, 2014 at 12:47 #

      Thank you, Siggi!

      He’s home tomorrow, to see his girlfriend and scrounge food. I don’t mind – I’ll take whatever crumbs my kids offer 🙂

      Like

  11. Three Well Beings October 1, 2014 at 04:38 #

    When my youngest left I cried every time I got near his empty room! I was absolutely bereft, which made no sense to me at the time. I hope the tears aren’t still too close to the surface. You did your job really well to get them both to university. Pat yourself on the back! 🙂

    Like

    • The Laughing Housewife October 2, 2014 at 12:48 #

      Thanks!

      I’m fine now, and looking forward to moving into his room, once I’ve decorated it.

      I’m not sentimental at all 🙂

      Like

  12. Rorybore October 1, 2014 at 21:43 #

    I remember my high school BFF and I packing up her car for our trip to our first year of university. The car was over-flowing and I still had several boxes and a suitcase on the driveway. no way it was all going to fit. And here we were all excited about our first solo trip as Real Grown Ups. Meanwhile, my mother stood by with a coffee in a travel mug, leaning on her car – which just happened to have full tank of gas. She knew all our stuff would not fit in one car. When I looked at her desperation, she simple walked back into the house, came out with her keys and purse: and one lunch bag packed with travel snacks, and said, “put in my car, and I’ll follow you.”
    Moms Know Best.
    As if further proof was required: She also was the one who introduced me to Detective Sharp mysteries when I was young and Sean Bean was one of my very first crushes.
    Also, I really want some good fish and chips now!

    Like

  13. Musings October 4, 2014 at 08:28 #

    Oh my! I’m so sorry. That’s hard. Your boys sounds like my son and daughter. The empty nest syndrome takes some getting used to. I just love your last discussion with Tory Boy.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. beeblu October 19, 2014 at 08:56 #

    I can’t empathize, but I can sympathize. But think: only one male to wrestle the remote control from.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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