30 Reasons To Stay Married

1 Jun

wedding1985008

 

  • The dogs wouldn’t like it if we split up.
  • The kids wouldn’t like it if we split up.
  • The record collection wouldn’t like it if we split up.  Apart from Meat Loaf (mine) and The Sex Pistols (his), they’ve been one big, happy family for too long for a separation to work.
  • The Hub wouldn’t like it if we split up.  He thinks thirty years of fights, kids, pets, fights, moving, troubles, fights, problems, woes and fights should mean something.  What a nitpicker.
  • He strokes my hair when I can’t sleep.
  • I pull his hair when he annoys me.  Whose hair would I pull if I didn’t have the Hub?
  • He still thinks I’m beautiful.
  • Poor, misguided fools are my thing.
  • He doesn’t mind that I spend all of our money on books.  Well, he does; but he doesn’t complain about it.
  • He found it perfectly reasonably that I wanted our wedding song to be one written by a country singer about leaving her famous married lover which I discovered in a movie about a whorehouse.

  • He buys the most thoughtful gifts: Presidential balls; trips to the Globe, the ballet, the theatre; long socks; Maltesers.
  • He knows me inside out – watching a group on last week’s Britain’s Got Talent, he said he knew which one I found the most attractive.  He was right.  Then he said he knew which one I found next-most attractive.  He did.  And so on, through all five of them.  The man’s a freak.
  • He can fix anything.  He can take an appliance apart, put it back together, throw the leftover screws (there are always leftover screws when he repairs something) in the recycling box and the machine works like new.  It’s scary.  And saves us a fortune (next point refers).
  • He only sighs when my techneptitudinal brain breaks appliances by mere confused glances.
  • He makes me laugh.
  • He lets me make fun of him on my blog; which means he makes you lot laugh, too.
  • He’s a know-it-all but, what’s worse, is that he’s not often wrong.  It’s annoying.  I include it as a reason to stay married, however, because I need the challenge of pointing out his errors.  It’s what gets me through the day since I gave up Sudoku.
  • He’s as hard as nails on the outside but a big, soppy mare over animals.  Which is why we have, in the course of thirty years, owned seven gerbils, three cockatiels, three budgies, five cats, four dogs and several thousand fish.  Why do you think I read so much?  I can’t find him in the zoo and I need to pass the time somehow.
  • He gave me two beautiful children.  And seven gerbils, three cockatiels, three budgies, five cats, four dogs and several thousand fish.
  • He sews up a storm.  Our kids always had the best costumes at school events. 

  • He accepts that I am not romantic and all of my love poems to him tend to poke fun at his own wild romanticism.
  • He cooks like a Michelin-starred chef.  He gathers together interesting ingredients and voilà! a three course meal for brunch.  It does my head in that he’s not well enough to cook anymore.  How selfish of him to get ill like that.
  • He can really drive.  I mean really.  His parallel parking is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
  • He’s the boss.  He says we have to stay married.  You know I’m an obedient wife who never disagrees with him, so staying married it is.
  • He doesn’t like poetry and complains that I should be writing a runaway bestseller to support us.  He totally believes I’m capable of it.  To shut him up, I had a go at NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month – the aim of which is to write 50,000 words in a month).  I managed 12,000 words of a dull romance in which my hero was a traffic warden.  Need I say more?
  • Back to the not liking poetry – he complains that it won’t make us any money and then ferries me around from one free/unpaid gig/workshop/event to another, leaving me with a kiss and collecting me later with another kiss.
  • He has no patience and a short fuse.  This might not seem like a reason to stay married to him; and you’re right: it’s not.  But I have to remind myself as I’m writing this list that he’s not perfect by any means, despite his great husbandness; otherwise, I might start appreciating him.
  • He’ll read this list and write thirty reasons why he should stay married to me, and I guarantee it’ll be all soppy and nice and make me all gooey inside.  He’s really annoying sometimes.
  • To prove the scoffers wrong.  Lots of people predicted that we would break up within a year when we got married.  I don’t know why; it’s not like I broke off our engagement three times or anything…oh, wait…
  • Love.

Happy 30th anniversary, darling.  Love you. x

 

 

 

Advertisements

39 Responses to “30 Reasons To Stay Married”

  1. The Hub June 1, 2015 at 20:51 #

    The main thing that I got right was marrying you. Look forward to the next thirty years sweets. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com June 1, 2015 at 21:01 #

    Tilly, after writing that you can NOT say you aren’t a romantic.
    I love you both.
    ViV

    Liked by 1 person

  3. laurieanichols June 1, 2015 at 21:09 #

    Happy Anniversary!!!!! I was laughing from number 1 all the way to 30, I want a Tilly and the Hub show, it would be a huge hit and the Hub would happy that you guys were getting paid and you can write your brilliant poetry unencumbered by trivial worries such as money and such. You guys are the best. xxoo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Grannymar June 1, 2015 at 21:38 #

    Happy anniversary and to many more years of loving banter!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ron. June 1, 2015 at 21:41 #

    Re #3: When the ex and I split up (30 years ago, half a decade before I met My Beloved Sandra) I put our extensive record collection into 3 piles. I told her: “This pile’s mine. Look but do not touch. This pile’s yours. I have no interest or legitimate claim. This huge pile is ours. Take what you want & then I’ll look them over and decide if we need to fight over them.” Fortunately, we had only a few minor squabbles.
    But I digress. Happy anniversary. We should all be so luck as you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. List of X June 1, 2015 at 21:53 #

    Congratulations! And, umm, whose hair you’re going to pull if you pull all of Hubs’ hair out? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Karen Snyder June 1, 2015 at 22:01 #

    Just keep doing what you do, as it seems to work for both of you! Happy Anniversary!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. sanstorm June 1, 2015 at 22:15 #

    Happy Anvo. Think half of wordpress has just fallen in love though…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. slpmartin June 1, 2015 at 22:34 #

    Happy Anniversary…may all the years that follow be filled with love.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. lynn June 1, 2015 at 23:20 #

    Happy anniversary lovely people x lynn x

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Al June 2, 2015 at 00:07 #

    OK, now I’m all gooey inside…..or maybe it’s that hot sauce I put on my pizza….nah, it’s your blog……you are the sweetest couple I don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Patrecia (with an E) June 2, 2015 at 09:05 #

    I wrote such a lovely comment on my phone and then I had to enter a password, which of course I could not remember….so instead of trying to recall what I wrote last night I shall just wish you both manu congratulations and have a Happt Anniversary.
    Absolutely loved the post..it must be one of your finest

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Patrecia (with an E) June 2, 2015 at 09:06 #

    whats the matter with Hub..why is he ill?

    Like

  14. Barb June 2, 2015 at 09:27 #

    You romantic you……Happy Anniversary to you and the Hub!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. jmgoyder June 2, 2015 at 09:58 #

    What an absolutely fantastic post! I am quite teary! xxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  16. SchmidleysScribblins June 2, 2015 at 20:38 #

    Lovely post. You know Dolly wrote, ‘I will always Love You.’ so I’m glad you selected her version. Someone sung it to the wives caring for wounded warriors, at the Memorial Day service here in Washington DC 30 May. Congratulations on a marriage well lived!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife June 4, 2015 at 15:03 #

      How lovely; did you attend the service?

      The Hub and I saw The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas when we were courting and loved it. I hate the Whitney Houston version, though my Mum had it at her funeral and we all sobbed through it.

      Like

  17. judyt54 June 2, 2015 at 21:03 #

    whats not to like? happy happy and I hope ill be around (or at least coherent) for your next thirty years…carry on, I know you will.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. katharinetrauger June 3, 2015 at 05:10 #

    I did laugh. 🙂 So the hub is funny, I’d say. 🙂
    This was so lovely. I’m so glad you shared it. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  19. sarsm June 3, 2015 at 17:12 #

    Happy anniversary to you both!!!!!!! What a gorgeous wedding picture – with a picture like that, who could have ever doubted the two of you?

    Another thing we have in common – my husband can sew too. Though he never sewed a costume he just repairs things… Two Mr Fix-Its!!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Rorybore June 5, 2015 at 01:53 #

    Happy 30 years!!! wow! If I say he definitely sounds amazing and a keeper, do I forfeit anniversary Maltesers? Excellent song choices too – full marks. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife June 5, 2015 at 17:32 #

      You so do! No one’s allowed to praise the Hub except…um, no one’s allowed to praise the Hub. It’ll spoil him. 😉

      Like

  21. Elaine - I used to be indecisive June 5, 2015 at 09:58 #

    Happy Anniversary! What a lovely post – you have a gem of a Hub there.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. beeblu June 8, 2015 at 05:23 #

    A marriage made in heaven and hell. Anything else would be boring.

    Happy Anniversary to you both. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Musings June 9, 2015 at 06:38 #

    Happy anniversary!!! Here’s to 30 more!
    Now everybody is going to wish they were married to your Hubs.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. colonialist June 17, 2015 at 19:26 #

    Now look what you’ve done! Set scores of husbands hating him like poison for showing them up! Better watch him carefully, though. You have probably also set scores of spinsters/divorcees and willing-to-become-divorcees-fast lining up to snatch him from you.

    Liked by 1 person

All comments are welcome, though compliments may result in you having your Malteser privileges revoked

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Nicola Hulme Author

Exploring creative writing and learning every day

Worldly Winds

It's not easy being me!

Vivinfrance's Blog

mainly poetry, also quilts, pictures, life-writing and the occasional short story.

Unpicked:Restitched

Where is the heart of Stockport?

Grains of Sand

notices and reflections in ministry

The Cvillean

The adventures of little read writing Hood

%d bloggers like this: