- The dogs wouldn’t like it if we split up.
- The kids wouldn’t like it if we split up.
- The record collection wouldn’t like it if we split up. Apart from Meat Loaf (mine) and The Sex Pistols (his), they’ve been one big, happy family for too long for a separation to work.
- The Hub wouldn’t like it if we split up. He thinks thirty years of fights, kids, pets, fights, moving, troubles, fights, problems, woes and fights should mean something. What a nitpicker.
- He strokes my hair when I can’t sleep.
- I pull his hair when he annoys me. Whose hair would I pull if I didn’t have the Hub?
- He still thinks I’m beautiful.
- Poor, misguided fools are my thing.
- He doesn’t mind that I spend all of our money on books. Well, he does; but he doesn’t complain about it.
- He found it perfectly reasonably that I wanted our wedding song to be one written by a country singer about leaving her famous married lover which I discovered in a movie about a whorehouse.
- He buys the most thoughtful gifts: Presidential balls; trips to the Globe, the ballet, the theatre; long socks; Maltesers.
- He knows me inside out – watching a group on last week’s Britain’s Got Talent, he said he knew which one I found the most attractive. He was right. Then he said he knew which one I found next-most attractive. He did. And so on, through all five of them. The man’s a freak.
- He can fix anything. He can take an appliance apart, put it back together, throw the leftover screws (there are always leftover screws when he repairs something) in the recycling box and the machine works like new. It’s scary. And saves us a fortune (next point refers).
- He only sighs when my techneptitudinal brain breaks appliances by mere confused glances.
- He makes me laugh.
- He lets me make fun of him on my blog; which means he makes you lot laugh, too.
- He’s a know-it-all but, what’s worse, is that he’s not often wrong. It’s annoying. I include it as a reason to stay married, however, because I need the challenge of pointing out his errors. It’s what gets me through the day since I gave up Sudoku.
- He’s as hard as nails on the outside but a big, soppy mare over animals. Which is why we have, in the course of thirty years, owned seven gerbils, three cockatiels, three budgies, five cats, four dogs and several thousand fish. Why do you think I read so much? I can’t find him in the zoo and I need to pass the time somehow.
- He gave me two beautiful children. And seven gerbils, three cockatiels, three budgies, five cats, four dogs and several thousand fish.
- He sews up a storm. Our kids always had the best costumes at school events.
- He accepts that I am not romantic and all of my love poems to him tend to poke fun at his own wild romanticism.
- He cooks like a Michelin-starred chef. He gathers together interesting ingredients and voilà! a three course meal for brunch. It does my head in that he’s not well enough to cook anymore. How selfish of him to get ill like that.
- He can really drive. I mean really. His parallel parking is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
- He’s the boss. He says we have to stay married. You know I’m an obedient wife who never disagrees with him, so staying married it is.
- He doesn’t like poetry and complains that I should be writing a runaway bestseller to support us. He totally believes I’m capable of it. To shut him up, I had a go at NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month – the aim of which is to write 50,000 words in a month). I managed 12,000 words of a dull romance in which my hero was a traffic warden. Need I say more?
- Back to the not liking poetry – he complains that it won’t make us any money and then ferries me around from one free/unpaid gig/workshop/event to another, leaving me with a kiss and collecting me later with another kiss.
- He has no patience and a short fuse. This might not seem like a reason to stay married to him; and you’re right: it’s not. But I have to remind myself as I’m writing this list that he’s not perfect by any means, despite his great husbandness; otherwise, I might start appreciating him.
- He’ll read this list and write thirty reasons why he should stay married to me, and I guarantee it’ll be all soppy and nice and make me all gooey inside. He’s really annoying sometimes.
- To prove the scoffers wrong. Lots of people predicted that we would break up within a year when we got married. I don’t know why; it’s not like I broke off our engagement three times or anything…oh, wait…
- Love.
Happy 30th anniversary, darling. Love you. x
The main thing that I got right was marrying you. Look forward to the next thirty years sweets. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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And that, folks, is why I still love him!
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Tilly, after writing that you can NOT say you aren’t a romantic.
I love you both.
ViV
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xxx
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Happy Anniversary!!!!! I was laughing from number 1 all the way to 30, I want a Tilly and the Hub show, it would be a huge hit and the Hub would happy that you guys were getting paid and you can write your brilliant poetry unencumbered by trivial worries such as money and such. You guys are the best. xxoo
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I’ll get right on it!
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Good luck!
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Happy anniversary and to many more years of loving banter!
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Re #3: When the ex and I split up (30 years ago, half a decade before I met My Beloved Sandra) I put our extensive record collection into 3 piles. I told her: “This pile’s mine. Look but do not touch. This pile’s yours. I have no interest or legitimate claim. This huge pile is ours. Take what you want & then I’ll look them over and decide if we need to fight over them.” Fortunately, we had only a few minor squabbles.
But I digress. Happy anniversary. We should all be so luck as you are.
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How civilised and yet caveman-like of you, Ron 🙂
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Congratulations! And, umm, whose hair you’re going to pull if you pull all of Hubs’ hair out? 🙂
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Ooo! Good point! You must be his guardian angel.
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Just keep doing what you do, as it seems to work for both of you! Happy Anniversary!
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Happy Anvo. Think half of wordpress has just fallen in love though…
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🙂
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Happy Anniversary…may all the years that follow be filled with love.
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Happy anniversary lovely people x lynn x
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OK, now I’m all gooey inside…..or maybe it’s that hot sauce I put on my pizza….nah, it’s your blog……you are the sweetest couple I don’t know.
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But will eventually… 🙂
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I wrote such a lovely comment on my phone and then I had to enter a password, which of course I could not remember….so instead of trying to recall what I wrote last night I shall just wish you both manu congratulations and have a Happt Anniversary.
Absolutely loved the post..it must be one of your finest
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whats the matter with Hub..why is he ill?
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Amongst (many) other things, he has severe M.E. and has had it for almost 20 years.
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You romantic you……Happy Anniversary to you and the Hub!
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Sssh! Don’t tell anyone!
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What an absolutely fantastic post! I am quite teary! xxxxxxx
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Lovely post. You know Dolly wrote, ‘I will always Love You.’ so I’m glad you selected her version. Someone sung it to the wives caring for wounded warriors, at the Memorial Day service here in Washington DC 30 May. Congratulations on a marriage well lived!
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How lovely; did you attend the service?
The Hub and I saw The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas when we were courting and loved it. I hate the Whitney Houston version, though my Mum had it at her funeral and we all sobbed through it.
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whats not to like? happy happy and I hope ill be around (or at least coherent) for your next thirty years…carry on, I know you will.
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I did laugh. 🙂 So the hub is funny, I’d say. 🙂
This was so lovely. I’m so glad you shared it. ❤
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Happy anniversary to you both!!!!!!! What a gorgeous wedding picture – with a picture like that, who could have ever doubted the two of you?
Another thing we have in common – my husband can sew too. Though he never sewed a costume he just repairs things… Two Mr Fix-Its!!
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We’re a match pair 🙂
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Happy 30 years!!! wow! If I say he definitely sounds amazing and a keeper, do I forfeit anniversary Maltesers? Excellent song choices too – full marks. 🙂
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You so do! No one’s allowed to praise the Hub except…um, no one’s allowed to praise the Hub. It’ll spoil him. 😉
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Happy Anniversary! What a lovely post – you have a gem of a Hub there.
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A marriage made in heaven and hell. Anything else would be boring.
Happy Anniversary to you both. xx
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Happy anniversary!!! Here’s to 30 more!
Now everybody is going to wish they were married to your Hubs.
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Now look what you’ve done! Set scores of husbands hating him like poison for showing them up! Better watch him carefully, though. You have probably also set scores of spinsters/divorcees and willing-to-become-divorcees-fast lining up to snatch him from you.
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Poor Col! I’m sure you’re a wonderful husband 🙂
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*looks sadly at a certain lady shaking her head vehemently*
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