Christmas Conversations

4 Jan


The Hub: What do you want for Christmas?

Tilly Bud: Nothing, really.  I could do with some new socks.  Oh, and I’ve run out of perfume.  Maltesers, of course.  A large Amazon book voucher.  And somebody better buy me the Outlander DVD or you three are going to have a miserable Christmas.  But nothing, really.  You know I don’t need much.




The Week Before Christmas

Alex and I went to the local care home to join in with my church carol singing. We’re a small church but, even so, I was disappointed that he and I were the only people to show up.

Attendant: Who are you here to see?

TB: We’re here for the St Matthew’s carol singing.

Attendant: That’s tomorrow.

Christmas Eve

Here’s a conversation I never expected to have.  I was watching ‘White Christmas’ with Spud.  Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye were performing to ‘Sisters’.

TB: I can so see you and Sam doing that.

Spud: [Enthusiastically] Yeah!  I can, too.  I’ll speak to him about it.

TB: I’ve got the perfect dress you could borrow.

Spud: [Still enthusiastic].  Great!  Thanks, Ma!


Christmas Eve Continued

TB: Don’t let me forget the starter tomorrow.  Every year, I forget to prepare and serve the starter.  But not this year!

The Hub: I have faith in you.


Christmas Eve Continued Again

TB: Hub!  The dishwasher’s not working!  Argh!IMG_0095

Hub: I’ll fix it.

Three days and seven hundred handwashed-by-me dishes later:

Hub: I can’t fix it. [TB stares] Please don’t leave me.  I prefer hospital. [TB stares] But I’d rather not go to hospital. [TB stares] But we can’t afford a new dishwasher; it’s Christmas. [TB stares] Gulp.

Ten minutes later:

Hub: I bought you a new dishwasher.  It’ll be here on Tuesday.

Christmas Day

TB: Thank you, Hub, for the socks, the perfume, the Maltesers, the other sweets, the autographed photos of Cliff Richard and Chris Hemsworth, the tourmaline necklace, the emerald ring, the Outlander DVD and the twenty-seven stocking fillers.  I told you I didn’t want much; I’m glad you listened.

The Hub: You deserve it all, so sweet and undemanding as you are.

TB: [Blush]



Christmas Day Continued

TB: Dinner!  Enjoy, my darlings.  Merry Christmas!

The Hub: Um, I don’t want to upset you but you remember how you swore you wouldn’t forget the starter this year…?


Bank Holiday Monday

My brother was visiting from down south.

TB: Did you watch A Gert Lush Christmas? It was so funny.  [American readers, think redneck stereotypes

Bro [Who lives in the general area of the programme’s setting]: It’s really like that.

TB: Seriously?

Bro: Seriously. They had to close Cinderford CSI, you know; they couldn’t solve any crimes.  

TB [Walking right into it]: Why?

Bro: Because there were no dental records; and everyone’s got the same DNA.


Five Days After Christmas

TB: Hub!  The washing machine broke down!

Hub: I’m leaving you.*

*Not really; fear makes him babble.



Six Days After Christmas

TB: Right, that’s my sack full of presents finally put away.  Everything was on my desk but I had to clear them to wrap Pam’s birthday present.  You know, I’ve got the feeling I’m missing something, but for the life of me, I can’t think what.

The Hub: The starters?

The Hub: Ow!



New Year

WordPress: Here’s your annual stats.

TB: Thank you, WordPress!  How did I do?

WP: 22 posts all year?  Loser!


January 3rd

Friend Pam: Thank you for the lovely birthday presents!

TB: Presents?  It was just one present; the framed painting.

FP: No, no; you also gave me autographed photos of Cliff Richard and Chris Hemsworth.  Weird gifts, especially Cliff’s, but I loved the Chris Hemsworth one. Thank you so much!


And finally…less talking, more singing: here’s Alex with his friends, just before Christmas.




21 Responses to “Christmas Conversations”

  1. January 4, 2016 at 17:55 #

    Wow! I had a box of chocolates from Jock, two poetry books and a pretty notebook from Sally & Co and a huge parcel of goodies to read watch and listen to from you..

    I loved your conversations and I really enjoyed the barbershop.

    Your 2015 stats are an eye opener. No wonder I’ve been missing you!
    ViV xox


  2. laurieanichols January 4, 2016 at 19:07 #

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year dearest Tilly!! I miss you, I laughed and laughed while I was reading, I love your matching Christams tee-shirts. DId the starter ever make it to the table? The Barbershop quartet was such a treat, Alex is so talented 🙂 xxoo


  3. slpmartin January 4, 2016 at 20:14 #

    I join with the others in wishing you a wonderful new year…one filled with love and joy…so enjoyed your post…and the singing was delightful.


  4. judyt54 January 4, 2016 at 20:57 #

    those fellas are amazing. and so are you. And the Hub. Im glad you all had a good holiday…


  5. sarsm January 4, 2016 at 21:00 #

    Ha! At least the attendant didn’t say, “That was yesterday!” 😀

    I have big writing plans this year… Not like last year. When I wrote a measly 13 posts!!!!!! TERRIBLE!!!!

    I don’t know… Maybe we should do some kind of challenge or something… 😉


  6. sharechair January 5, 2016 at 00:13 #

    So now I have to know……. what was the planned starter???
    Wishing you and those you love a most wonderful new year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife January 12, 2016 at 16:55 #

      I’m embarrassed to admit that it was prawn cocktail – yes, I come from the Seventies 😉

      I LOVE prawn cocktail but we only have it once a year – or not, as the case may be.


  7. Al January 5, 2016 at 19:19 #

    Overall, an interesting way to end one year and start another. The barbershop quartet is amazing. I’ve often thought of singing to the public, but I wouldn’t be able to fit that many people in the shower.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Elaine - I used to be indecisive January 7, 2016 at 20:37 #

    The problem with the starter is just the sort of thing I would do too! I enjoyed the singing – what great singers they are. Happy New Year to you and yours!


  9. jmgoyder January 8, 2016 at 06:51 #



  10. Rorybore January 8, 2016 at 17:48 #

    You did well – I can barely remember any conversations; it all seemed to fly past so fast. I think that Chris Hemsworth one might have been meant for me? Even though my birthday is in May 😉
    Love the singing. It always amazes me that I hear an English singer speak – with the accent, and then they start singing, and.. no accent. Or it just my ears hear the melody more?


    • The Laughing Housewife January 12, 2016 at 16:45 #

      I’ve noticed that about accents when singing. But some people do have strong accents that come through – especially Noo Yalkers 🙂


      • judyt54 January 13, 2016 at 14:34 #

        If you want regional, listen to Tom Petty, lol. You just know he’s a midwest boy… “ha-ouse’ “da-own”, “fla-owers”.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. SchmidleysScribblins January 10, 2016 at 18:01 #

    Wow, you’re on a roll. Love the White Christmas clip. Emerald ring did yu say…wow, I’m impressed. Who robbed a bank?


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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