Don’t Eat The Spam!

9 Jun

Sometimes, spam comments looks genuine; at first glances, I thought this was:

My brother suggested I would possibly like this web site.
He used to be entirely right. This put up actually made
my day. You cann’t believe just how a lot time I had spent for this info!

Then I thought about it: her brother used to be entirely right?  I has brothers.  I don’t thinks so….

It’s definitely spam; or the author is an only child and wishing it ain’t so.

*

On a seriously note, I heard that the illiterate emails we is getting in our inboxers are deliberate: nasty spammers want to weed out the intelligent and/or persons what can spell, becAuse they are less likely to be gullible and therefore taken in buy iritating emails.

*

Does you like how I am writings in the style of spam?  It’s very pleasance.

I was going to asks you all to do similar or the sames in your comments, but yours proberly ennd up in my spam filter.

By the way, the title refers to a family story going back about six years.  My nephew and niece were staying with us for a couple of weeks and I made lunch.  Much hilarity ensued because I squirted a bottle of tomato sauce from directly over the top of a sandwich and still managed to miss.  Such are my cooking skills.

Nephew & Nice sat down with their sandwiches and Spud and Wary Boy were given theirs.  One of the boys smelled it and said, ‘I think this ham is off.’

You know how in The Night Before Christmas visions of sugar plums danced in their heads?  Well, visions of vomiting children for whom I was temporarily responsible danced in mine and I ran into the other room screaming, ‘Don’t eat the ham!  Don’t eat the ham!’

Nowadays, if I ever say the word ‘ham’, everyone in the room yells at me, ‘Don’t eat the ham!  Don’t eat the ham!’

My mistake, of course, was not to give food poisoning to my own children.   They wouldn’t have laughed at me then.  Ah well, we mothers can’t get everything right.

 

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30 Responses to “Don’t Eat The Spam!”

  1. patrecia upton June 9, 2016 at 15:42 #

    Most spam is a load of rot..but your post was interesting  

    Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2016 at 5:35 PM

    Liked by 1 person

  2. slpmartin June 9, 2016 at 15:50 #

    Beware the Spamsandwich, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the ketchup spills, and shun
    The frumious baconbits!”

    Sorry for this egregious change to Carroll’s verse..but I’m just haven’t finished my morning coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. judyt54 June 9, 2016 at 15:54 #

    Ive gotten good at sorting out the spam guys from the real ones. Most of the spammers are total oiks when it comes to english, meaning they are either european, chinese, or spanish, using guide books. Its the strange use of gerunds as personal pronouns that usually alerts me. That and I havent a clue who that person is and dont intend to find out.
    If they want my attention badly enough they will call back.

    My favorite is when someone addresses me as Mrs. and then starts, “dear sir”. Kind of a clue, right there.

    And a good way to tell if your treasued (trusted) sites are being hacked into, is to check the spelling. Often a hacker acquires the online “look’ (like stealing the hotel stationery to prove you’ve been there) but his language is off just a bit–maybe mispelling a word like Insuranse or slightly awkward language usage. Mis’placed apostrophe’s. GONE.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tracey June 9, 2016 at 16:04 #

    Entertaining as ever, Linda 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  5. laurieanichols June 9, 2016 at 16:09 #

    You’s is vary hileriuous!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com June 9, 2016 at 16:19 #

    Tillybud’s back, with her zany crazy sense of humour. More please.
    love,
    ViV

    Liked by 1 person

  7. McGuffy Ann June 9, 2016 at 16:38 #

    I have to go with slpmartin on this one. *wink*

    Liked by 1 person

  8. SchmidleysScribblins June 9, 2016 at 19:09 #

    Fight spam with spam. Make sandwiches!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Janie Jones June 9, 2016 at 20:11 #

    Spam is maps spelled backward. I just realized that as I was reading this post. I finding this very enlighting. Everything is very well here. Thank the excelent material. Very valuble.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife June 20, 2016 at 21:40 #

      I never thought of that! It must mean something but I’ll be blowed if I know what it is.

      Loved your spam, btw 🙂

      Like

  10. colonialist June 9, 2016 at 23:27 #

    I can remember when spam was a boring but edible meat loaf …
    Es four th lengwidge of spam, it shld be mastred kwite easelly buy the peeple geting en edjacashun thes deys, beecoz thats how their teechers are it putting.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Indira June 10, 2016 at 11:48 #

    Loved your post. I sometime love reading spam mail. Some are so funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. bevchen June 10, 2016 at 12:22 #

    The only spam I get is offering me Viagra and penis extensions. The clue is in the fact that they imagine I have a penis to extend.

    I wonder whether this comment will end up in your spam folder because I talked about penises?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. sharechair June 10, 2016 at 12:30 #

    I don’t even understand the purpose behind some of these spam messages. If there’s a link, it’s obvious. But without a link, what’s their point?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Gobetween June 11, 2016 at 14:42 #

    Spam is usually easy to spot, I often get spam comments for example “this info helped me a lot” on a post that is a picture or joke that has no important “info” at all. Luckily almost all are caught by the spam filter. What annoys me more is the “followers” we get who sell products, they should also be branded as spammers.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Rorybore June 15, 2016 at 04:55 #

    How come you get all the sortish English spam and I get all the porn blogs? Honestly, I don’t know what they expect to find on my stay at home mom blog. one person seems to think I am hiding a naked Keanu Reeves somewhere. Believe me, I would KNOW if I was hiding a naked Keanu Reeves. I said “glitch in the Matrix”… not GITCH!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife June 20, 2016 at 21:29 #

      I had to look up ‘GITCH!’ You learn something new every day – like, Rorybore seems fixated on men’s underwear; no wonder all the spammers visit her blog…

      Like

  16. beeblu June 18, 2016 at 02:04 #

    Congratulation!!! She graduated from hairy armpits to spam What your bank details

    Liked by 1 person

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Nicola Hulme Author

Exploring creative writing and learning every day

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