I’ve been wanting to tell you about my kitchen cupboards since before Christmas (yes, my life really is that dull) but I haven’t had time to write the post (dull but busy), so here’s a random selection of bits of old posts from February 2010.
I always bin chain letters but this one really scared me; I don’t know where it came from:
This letter was started by a woman like yourself in the hope of bringing relief to tired and discontented women. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list. When your name comes to the top of the list you will receive 16,337 men and one of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.
DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN. ONE WOMAN WHO DID THAT GOT HER OWN MAN BACK.
Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
The bloke in the car behind me had his finger so far up his nose he scraped the dandruff off his scalp.
Jason Manford in The Sun:
If your idea of a gift is a dead mouse at the foot of my stairs then please leave me off your gift list or get me some HMV vouchers.
It’s not a gift, it’s a warning.
Tilly Bud: I asked you to buy the toilet rolls; now please let me pay for them.
Little Brother: Get lost, knobhead.
TB: Oh, come on; please.
LB: Just think of me every time you wipe your bum.
TB: I already do.
TB&LB: Raucous laughter