Rules Are Made To Be Broken

1 Feb

Taking an inadvertent blogging break due to all of the studying I’m doing, I came across a post I wrote (hey, poets need downtime, too, you know), about a deliberate blogging break I took in 2013:

When I have time on my hands like this, I start thinking about myself. Always a mistake.  Last time I had nothing to do, I set a few rules and general guidelines to make Tilly Bud Tilly Blooming Lovely, Inside And Out.  Tilly Blooming Lovely IAO is, I am sure, well-groomed, relaxed, affable, clean, and at peace with herself.  Everyone will love her. Tilly Bud: The Menopause Years, not so much.

Forgive the use of an old photo; I wanted to look my best for you.

The Rules:

Presentation:

  • Tilly Bud shall forthwith cease and desist speaking of herself in the third person.
  • I’ll stop the pompous balderdash as well.
  • I will address the next lot of rules to ‘you’ because the use of first person negates the funny.  Take it as read that ‘you’ is ‘me’.

Diet:

  • When you eat the last Malteser, don’t open another box for at least an hour.
  • Stop eating: you cannot starve to death in a morning.
  • Exercise is not the enemy.  Dance, be a flibbertigibbet, chase the Hub around the house.
  • Galaxy Bubbles are not an acceptable substitute for Maltesers.  Nor are Galaxy Bars, Galaxy Ripples or Galaxy Minstrels.
  • They can, however, be enjoyed as a side dish.

Home:

  • Never miss an opportunity to clean.
  • The synchronicity of a dust bunny behind the couch and a vacuum cleaner in your hand should never be overlooked.

Computer:

  • Nothing bad will happen if you stay offline for ten minutes.
  • If your hand resembles a claw, put down the mouse and step away from the laptop.

Family:

  • It’s okay to be nice to the Hub.
  • Really.
  • Just because your child didn’t call doesn’t mean A) you are a bad mother or B) he doesn’t love you.  It means he’s a bad son who doesn’t appreciate your stretch marks.
  • Dogs are not substitute children.

Blog:

  • It’s okay to be nice about the Hub.
  • Really.
  • Serendipity gave him to you; keep him sweet by throwing out the occasional compliment.

General:

  • Stupid is as stupid does: pick a side.
  • Life is like a box of chocolates: you can be a soft centre and a nut.
  • Really.
  • Forrest Gump is not the Oracle.  And that’s all I have to say about that.
  • Never miss an opportunity to laugh (the first point under ‘Home’ refers)

This post first appeared five years ago.  Tilly Bud has since learned that the rules only work if you adhere to them.

20 Responses to “Rules Are Made To Be Broken”

  1. Tom Merriman February 1, 2018 at 13:31 #

    There’s a rule coming in soon banning Maltesers, Tilly. Would it affect you?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ron. February 1, 2018 at 13:36 #

    Rules, Schmules, Baby! Wheeeee!

    (It’s not true, really; I guess we have to have them. I guess we ~should~ obey them. I guess.)
    Nah. Wheeee!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Judy February 1, 2018 at 14:52 #

    Chins up, darling. I”ve been where you are, and trust me, it doesn’t last forever, it just seems that way. The reward is that wonderful light at the end of the tunnel called “menopausal zest” and yes it really happens. But not yet.

    Rules are made so we can have the naughty pleasure of breaking them. Go for it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Al February 1, 2018 at 15:31 #

    Just wondering, did you ever catch the Hub?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Janie Jones February 1, 2018 at 15:33 #

    Good to hear from you! Although, it makes me feel bad about you not hearing anything from me…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. slpmartin February 1, 2018 at 17:10 #

    Ah this post reminded of the lyrics from the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint: The Smell of the Crowd…the song Things to Remember…

    “For life is like cricket – we play by the rules –
    But the secret which few people know,
    Which keep men of class well apart from the fools
    Is to think up the rules as you go.”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. catterel February 2, 2018 at 15:34 #

    Glad to see you popping up again for air – who cares about RULES? Self-respect and consideration for others, means Do as you would be done by. It’s the only rule that counts. And plenty of hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. granny1947 February 3, 2018 at 09:38 #

    Love the one about family.
    Luckily for me, I have so many kids, one of them is always calling!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. sarsm March 3, 2018 at 12:00 #

    These rules are surely just made to be broken? *Never miss an opportunity to clean* WHAT?

    When I clean I often hear a kid piping up: “Who’s coming to visit?”

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife March 6, 2018 at 12:35 #

      My Mum’s friend said that whenever she had visitors, she sprayed furniture polish in the air just before they arrived. They always thought the place was cleaner than it was as a result 🙂

      Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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