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Exciting News! (For Me, Anyway)

17 Feb

So guess what I did yesterday? You’ll never guess. I’ll just tell you, shall I?

I did this:

That’s me signing something.

Shall we have a poll? We haven’t had a poll in years. Let’s have a poll!


I may be a little giddy with excitement: I’ve always wanted my own Malteser factory. I mean, I’ve always wanted to put the Hub away. No, no, I mean, my first poetry collection is coming out in the summer.¬†

Here’s my publisher’s website. They are based in Marple and have been going for about twenty years.

Did you catch that? ‘Here’s my publisher’s website.’ Giddy doesn’t begin to cover it ūüôā¬†



Tag, You’re It

5 Nov
funny tag

funny tag (Photo credit: Phil Denton)

My tag line is There’s Always A Silver Lining.

On another blog just now, I wrote in the comments, focus on the silver lining, not the cloud.  

I’ve been thinking of changing my tag line for a while, if I can only find the time between Bomp Bomp games; this is what I was thinking of: Sharing the laughter.

So, dear readers, which of them shall it be?  

I will abide by the majority vote.*

*And then change it to something else when you’re not looking, if I don’t like it.

Coughsnotty And A Poll

18 Feb
Toilet roll holder

Toilet roll holder (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know those times when you are there but not all there? ¬†(Don’t say that’s just me) ¬†That’s how I’ve been this week in the blogging world.

Sorry the posts have been weak and unfunny. ¬†I don’t know if it’s because this is a particularly nasty bug or because it takes longer to recover as we get older, but my head hasn’t been in the game. ¬†Mostly, it’s been buried in a box of tissues (and then a toilet roll, when the tissues ran out).

I thought I was feeling better yesterday: I showered, walked the dogs and cooked a proper meal.  Then I collapsed into bed in the afternoon, too weak to watch Dancing On Ice while catching up on comments.

I’m fed up with myself and to add to my misery, a couple of commenters mentioned that Word Ads have appeared on my blog. ¬†I haven’t signed up to them so I must investigate. ¬†That’s where the poll comes in:

I tried signing out of my blog to look for myself, but I can’t see any adverts. ¬†If you answered ‘Yes’, would you mind leaving a comment saying where they appear?

I need to know so I can kick up a fuss.  As soon as I have the energy to raise my leg.


Poo Picks

15 Sep


Time to vote:

pick a title

If you have arrived here from Six Word Saturday, here’s a quick catch-up: I intend to publish a book of poems about poo and I need a good title.

Thank you to everyone who left wonderful and funny and wonderfully funny suggestions.  I had intended to include them all in the poll, but I was showered with names and the poll would have been too long, like those cold calls you get that swear it will only take five minutes and by the time you get off the phone your children have grown up and left home.

I had to make an arbitrary selection and this judge’s decision is absolutely final. Unless you want to take a look at the original post, see what I’ve left out, and make a formal request to have your favourite included.



Polls & Up The Pole (I Must Be)

6 Mar
Six degrees of separation.

Image via Wikipedia

Results are in!

According to my readers, the correct definition of the word eubodicly is:

A particularly successful bowel motion

That’s about your level, I guess.

Did I mention that mine was the vote that tipped the balance?


You guys are cheats, or I am slow: there is no six degrees of separation now that Google is King.  Many of you found Shanea Vernon by typing her name and clicking search.  Have you no romance in your internet-withered souls?

Well done to Aquatom, at least, who knows Kevin Bacon via the movie Mystic River, which he hasn’t seen (it’s too complicated to explain; read his comment here).

I emailed my friend to ask her to get her Louse to check the business card for details (which I did not want to do, believing that the six degree thing was more fun.¬† Apparently¬†I’m alone in that), and it is indeed¬†the Shanea Vernon who works for Entertainmentpc, though she is now the managing member, not a sales representative.¬† I think¬†it is party planning.

I have requested to become her friend on Facebook.¬† If she accepts, and I don’t get locked up for stalking, I’ll explain to her how a stranger in Stockport came to know of her existence on the other side of the world, and proceeded to tell the whole world about her.¬† If I’m still not locked up for stalking, I believe she’ll be happy, because any publicity is good publicity, right?¬† Right?

Where’s my orange jumpsuit?

C Is For ‘Choice’

2 Mar

63 - Goa Dr Jack De Souza Statue, Dona Paula F...

I love choices, so long as they are unimportant.¬† Ask me to choose a new house, new furniture or the winner of the X-Factor and I pick the first one I see, to avoid meltdown.¬† Better yet, I get the Hub to choose: if it all goes wrong, it’s his fault.¬† What you call a win-win situation.

But ask me to participate in a survey or poll, and I’m your man.¬† I never met a doorstep pollster I didn’t invite into my home.¬† I helped redefine the Open University’s website during the 2000s, by my simple yeas or nays to their proffered options.¬† I love knowing that I’m one of the eight out of ten owners who said their cats preferred it.

Imagine my ecstasy, then, when I discovered WordPress had a poll feature.¬† I brought you polls on what I should call my first-born; which Friend you are; what theme I should use; what I should post;¬†when I should post; if should I post polls at all…you said ‘no’ to that last one, so I stopped canvassing your opinion and sulked a bit.

Today, because it’s spring, because I have nothing to write about, and because I really do value your opinion, I bring you a new poll.¬† Ignore it if you want, but remember: you provided the answers in the first place; and¬†if you want to be one of the eight out of ten bloggers who said their readers preferred it, you need to say so.

Going Off Grid

9 Nov
Totem Pole Park

Image by Travis S. via Flickr

I have a couple busy days of ahead, will I¬†which tell you about they’re once¬† done, so I not be may around to visit your comments or¬†answer your blogs. I posting will still be¬† and I catch will visit for a up as done soon as I’m, so bear please with me.

To show you I value your opinion, here’s a poll:

Though your¬†seems to be opinion that my polls you like don’t (are you listening, Big Al?), so perhaps I opinion don’t your value as much as I think you do.

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