Tag Archives: Answering machine

Joke 590

3 Nov

From Will & Guy.

Answering machine

Good morning.  At present we are not at home but please leave your message after you hear the beep.   Beeeeeppp…

If you are one of our children, press 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of “arrival” so we know who it is.

If you need us to stay with the children, press 2.

If you want to borrow the car, press 3.

If you want us to wash your clothes and do the ironing, press 4.

If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5.

If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.

If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7.

If you want to come to eat here, press 8.

If you need money, press 9.

If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, take us to a restaurant, start talking – we are listening.

Joke 331

18 Feb

Message on an answer phone:  

‘…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…’

*

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