Tag Archives: Bible

Joke 682

3 Feb
English: cow icon

English: cow icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A devout cowboy lost his favourite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.  Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

  ***

A cow walks into a bar and the barman yells, ”Get out!  We don’t serve your kind in here!”

”But why not?” asked the cow.

The barman replied, ”Because I’m lactose intolerant.”

From jokes4us and PastExpiry

 

Joke 490

26 Jul

 

Another one from Will & Guy.

creation of man

creation of man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bobby, nine, opened the big old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them.  Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely.  It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Hey, Mum, look what I’ve found!” Bobby called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

Astonishment written all over his face, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”

 

101/1001 (6)

29 Apr

18/64

I’ve added six new tasks to the list.  They all involve learning by rote:

  • Learn the names of the New Testament books as they appear.
  • Learn the names of the twelve disciples.  I’ve been a Christian for over thirty years; I think it’s time. 
  • Learn my baptism verses again.  I knew them in the Revised Standard Version but now I have a New International Version and I get the two mixed up.
  • Learn the names of all the Kings & Queens of England in order.
  • Learn the names of all the British Prime Ministers in order.
  • Learn the names of all the American Presidents in order.

The Prime Minister list is from a sense of duty: I added the President one first and then thought, as a patriotic Englishwoman, it was my duty to know my own political leaders as well. 

Completed Task:

No mention of Maltesers on my blog for ten days.  I managed it from 13-24 April; did you notice?  Lots of mentions at home, however, until the Hub took the hint and bought me some.

Almost completed task:

I now know the words to the South African national anthem.  All that remains is to film me singing it and post it to the blog.  And some tuning issues, but we’ll gloss over that.

A huge welcome to our new recruit, Perfecting Motherhood.  She’s a pretty impressive recruit because she already has her list of 101 things to do.  You’d think I’d be embarrassed, wouldn’t you?  I’m not; but I do intend to steal some of her tasks for my own list.

%d bloggers like this: