Tag Archives: Blog Searches

A Woman Without A Man Is Punctuation

2 Mar

February searches which found my blog

If that’s the case, why did you 100 people look at them, then?

  • i hate snow cartoon images

Is there any other kind?

  • hilarious cow jokes
  • housewife limericks
  • poetry fun facts
  • scary receptionist
  • wet housewife
  • funny cartoons on gynaecology
  • malteser poo
  • hirsutism inspiration
  • malteser birthday poem
  • i am a housewife turkey
  • annoyed switchboard operator

So many errors; so little time…

English: Hirsutism circa 1900

English: Hirsutism circa 1900 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • how to declutter you threebed room hom in two days
  • yout only as old as tbe the girl you feel?

Um, and why did you end up here?

  • air freshener for farts
  • a woman without a man is punctuation
  • old lady washing dishes while drinking wine
  • famous women with hirsutism
  • my big foot
  • don’t call me tilly, bud!

That’s just not funny

  • choking accidents maltesers
  • cartoon of farting on someones finger

Could you be a little more specific?

  • cebu provincial detention and rehabilitation center (cpdrc) is a prison in cebu, in cebu province, philippines. it is a maximum security prison facility with a capacity for 1600 inmates.[1]the prison became well known for its rehabilitation program in 2005-2010 based on a program of choreographed exercise routines for the inmates. known as cpdrc dancing inmates, the recordings of the various routines of the prisoners online supervised by the head of the prison byron f. garcia rendered them an international online celebrity sensation and phenomenon

Two Snowflake Panic Attack

8 Feb
Smile!

Smile! (Photo credit: GREATONE!)

The searches which find my blog were rather dull in the run-up to Christmas, but they picked up again in January.

Here are some of my favourites.

You’ve Come To The Right Place

  • saggy women
  • camel-butt-shaped-girl
  • crazy person smiling
  • images of people frustrated in front of their computers
  • screw funny
  • husband and wife arguing

Makes Sense

  • disney characters taught us the wrong things
  • annoyed switchboard operator
  • receptionists rule
  • kid got bit on butt by donkey
  • sandra bullock sex change

Say What?

  • ugliest fog

    Donkey Butt

    Donkey Butt (Photo credit: Gallery32/ Trina Baker)

  • martin man with messed up teeth
  • famous armpits
  • mona lisa spaceship
  • two snowflake panic attack
  • huge yellow anaconda for sale
  • dear parents quotes with something about a pipe
  • images of two lady while doing shopping of gold jewellery in cartoon form

I Heard What You Said But I Know What You Meant

  • midsummer night’s dream bottom makeup

Sounds Like A Good Idea

  • “belly laugh day”
  • toilet that cleans your bum
  • fly me to the moon laughing
  • cute buttocks
  • symptoms of anaemia funny

I’m Afraid To Ask

  • paintings of dead man in a coffin
  • hirsutism in hand 
  • funny gynaecology
  • hairy tube
  • disgusting toes
  • how wide can julia roberts yawn
  • harry armpit
  • longest underarm hair in the world

Weird And He Can’t Spell (You Just Know It’s A ‘He’)

  • hairy armpit fetis
  • carnoot santa

A Labled Easy To Follow Leg

1 Nov

It’s that time of the month – here are the searches that found my blog in October:

 

Searches are the only times I love grammar (grammatical?) and spelling errors

Grammar police

Grammar police (Photo credit: the_munificent_sasquatch)

  • tour the france accidents
  • why dont americans like electic kettles
  • plumber onliners

I’d like one of those

  • bearhug in sweden
  • dobermans backside

I know that feeling

  • my butt is big

We’re better behaved than that

  • yorkies eating poo

It’s all about the emphasis

  • fat moped girl

I despair of education today

  • what sounds does owl makes
Yorkie puppy

Yorkie puppy (Photo credit: http://www.petian.net)

An impossibility

  • ugly yorkie puppies
  • im still mad at you wife

*

That’s a strange place to get one

  • man with bump in head

*

The weirdos are back

  • i saw the ghost of gloria gaynor standing at the foot of my bed
  • australian and nudist and tumblr
  • poo humour poems
  • male stripper running credit card thru butt
  • vamps by love in deaths arms

I thought I had a morbid sense of humour

  • funny heart attack cartoons
  • cartoon cooking children and parents
  • a labled easy to follow leg

    You put your left leg in, you put your left le...

    You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out…. (Photo credit: foxypar4)

*

The pickings are feeble so it’s time for a poem.

Last month, Bluebee invited her readers to make poems from searches.  She posted my first attempt here.  Be warned: there’s a lot of hair.

I enjoyed the exercise so much, I’ve had another go.  You should try it!  

Here is today’s poem:

*

why dont americans like electic kettles

i saw the ghost of gloria gaynor standing at the foot of my bed
a labled easy to follow leg
fat moped girl my butt is big
bearhug in sweden man with bump in head

 

Bring In Arms Fat Mummy

2 Oct

The searches that found my blog in September are rather dull.  Have I become respectable without noticing?

There were a couple of rude ones that I refuse to share on a family blog, but here’s the best of the rest:

The Laughing Housewife – discusses the parts that other blogs cannot reach

  • housewife feet
  • seven of nine butt
  • mop on head
  • south indian actress ugly armpit photos
  • rubbing my hubby feet
  • male armpits
  • dirty feet worship
  • julia roberts biceps
  • bring in arms fat mummy

The weirdos are back

  • damp armpit dentistry
  • two person fart
  • skinny guy that looks like a rat and a fat girl that looks like a cow what would the baby look like
  • fat rats nibbling toes
  • hairy legs fetish archive

I thought that was goats

  • donkeys having kids

I totally get why they ended up here

  • hysterical housewife
  • manky pictures
  • drunk housewife
  • good looking family
  • cow methane monitor
  • my cooking is so horrible

They must read the daily joke

  • dirt and rubbish

I suspect these searchers may have been drunk housewives themselves

  • fny old and yung enterviw carton jocke
  • what is interesting for a housewife
  • your form elopes with my desirous pillow
  • kerala girl full under sheving
  • it me the bird.lady my budgies throw out a baby now i have two baby

Is there any other kind?

  • boris johnson bad hair

    English: Mayor of London, Boris Johnson poses ...

    English: Mayor of London, Boris Johnson poses for a photo prior to ringing the opening bell at NASDAQ on September 14, 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • farringdon mice quotes
  • bald speccy

The Magic Number

6 Sep

Thank you to Amba Nair and Addy, who became my 600th subscribers. Unrelated bloggers, they both qualify for the title of Deluded #600, because one is the official 600th subscriber (Addy) and one is the actual 600th subscriber (Amba Nair), though she has the official position of 601st subscriber.  Having worked her way through this awkward first paragraph, however, she may become the 601st unsubscriber.

You are hereby granted permission to eat a single Malteser in celebration, so long as you send the remainder of the packet to me.  I can think of no greater honour to bestow for your excellent taste in blogs.

I was the first official subscriber to my blog – just checking the subscription button worked, I promise.  Viv was the actual first subscriber to my blog; or at least the first person not to unsubscribe.  Thank you, Viv, for sticking with me through good posts and bad.

And thank you to the other 597?8? subscribers, who don’t object to vanity posts like this one.  I love you all.  Don’t leave me, despite my difficulty with numbers.

*

*

I am a week late, sharing the searches that found my blog last month.   I haven’t rushed to do it because August was the dullest month for searches since records began.

There was nothing inspired, like in previous months:

  •  you are only as old as the woman you fee
  • president donkey
  • toilet blob.

I give you the best of a bad August lot:

*

I get it

The second search followed the first in the list.  Coincidence?  I think not

  • what makes me happy
  • julia roberts fat

Present 601 company excepted, I have scary readers

  • vasectomy cartoons
  • scalded during shower cartoon
  • coffin cartoons
  • brain surgery cartoon
  • i will miss you cartoon
  • funny acupuncture cartoon
  • facebook stalking cartoons
  • my nose is frozen cartoons
  • girls arm pit stolen
  • tail growthing
  • inflatable teeth lobster
  • entering of maths teachers hating by students funny stills
  • medical waste bags art gallery
  • foot torture

When they’re not scary, they’re weird

  • longest hair from womens sweaty armpit
  • julia roberts harry armpit
  • madonna nude armpit
  • sticky armpits
  • children were taught to be rebels since little kids because of disney
  • smile with teeth cow
  • and so he shot him
  • i brought flower vase from a cemetery is it bad?
  • fart fire alarm
  • pics of amateur nude women showing armpit hair

I have never met an amateur nude; have you?

Some are bone idle

  • insults for lazy people

Sometimes, they bring gifts to grammar geeks like what I am

  • my but is big
  • why are did grammar

This one is clearly a fantasist

(Only people who have read the grim and unrelenting  but much-loved Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card will find this amusing)

  • ender’s game humor

Finally, my favourite search in August was made by someone who is obviously a patriot

  • hairy armpits british flag

*

*

Vasectomy Dog And A Frog Disease Called Awesome

2 Aug

 

I was going to tell you about yesterday but it will have to wait until tomorrow because today I am a day late sharing the searches that found my blog.

1037 people arrived here in July via search engines; fairly slim pickings again, but here is a sample:

teeth

teeth (Photo credit: jfraser)

&

They sound pretty smart to me

  • the stupid things dogs and cats do with quotes

Erm…

  • funny cancer
  • death sleep cartoon
  • cute buttocks
  • footrub mother in law
  • frog disease called awesome
  • bits of skin under armpit
  • vasectomy dog funny
  • irish authoress armpits

Amusing searches, apparently

  • things that no longer exist

I’m insulted

  • ugliest yorkie

There’s no place like…

  • homesick cartoons
  • cow government

I’m not going there

  • husband cemetery

Rejected Olympic Sports

  • granny laughing
  • back door porn
  • kitten scowling
  • window cleaning with a pole

There’s no ‘i’ in…

  • harry arm pits

Always with the teeth

  • smile and the world will smile with you .. no teeth guys
  • ugly big teeth cartoon
  • we lost a lot of good men out there teeth extraction
  • african woman messed up teeth
  • one direction bad teeth too serious
  • boy boring

Weirdest prize I ever heard of

  • sharks win bulls

They think I know famous people

  • julia roberts armpits revealed
  • julia roberts biceps
  • julia bathe
  • julia roberts story
  • secret rooms in buckingham palace
  • robert pattinson armpits
  • who is cesar millan girlfriend now
  • plastic face can’t smile

He gets rich from everything

  • simon cowell teeth money

 

Dead Drunk Housewives And Funny Buttocks

2 Jul

Puppy cuteness

If this is Monday, I missed yesterday’s post.  I forgot to share the searches that found my blog on the first of the month, as I usually do.  You didn’t miss much – it was slim pickings because everyone is away/following the torch/partying with the Queen.

This is the best of a bad lot:

  • apple poodle pie that farts…Ohkaaaay…  
  • fold armpit…If I could do that, I’d be in the circus.        
  • ugly puppy…Is that even possible?    
  • munches the scream…Isn’t that illegal?     

I don’t want to let you down so I am going to extend my Blog Jubilee by one day, and select some of my favourite searches over the last three years.  Enjoy!

Even Santa Is Affected By The Recession

  • repo elf

Tell Me Something I Don’t Know

  • christmas is comming

Tell Him Something He Doesn’t Know

  • laughing turkey

Is There Any Other Kind?

  • dead drunk housewives
  • mean husbands
  • funny buttocks
  • fat ugly poo
  • customer waiting for reply from bank

Beats Me

  • Tent suppliers in marriages
  • cartoon winter seances

    Random Buttocks Collection - 2

    Random Buttocks Collection – 2 (Photo credit: Flavio (back for a while…))

Would Like To Meet

  • 9 gag grandpa
  • wooden leg woman
  • president donkey
  • Massive Legs Woman
  • dog sock the gay

A Horror Story

  • dead malteser

Things I’d Like To See

  • julia roberts fat
  • abraham lincoln kayaking
  • marriage expiration date
  • yoda gangster
  • tickle,tickle,tickle story
  • tapdancing swan

Who Says Religion And Science Don’t Mix?

  • noah’s arc

A Little Worrying

  • frog dissection cute
  • cute nazi puppy
  • legionnaires disease laughing
  • website where you dissect people

The Best Kind

  • cartoon funerals

Just How Smart Do You Think The Internet Is?

  • freda’s address in atlantic city

Sound Advice

  • no smoking unless you are on fire
  • life is short smile while you still have teeth

The Award For Stupidest Complaint Of The Year Goes To…

  • i gave birth and now i have to do nappies

From The Need To Get A Life Brigade

  • before and after – cleaning clothing
  • “what have you got against the letter s”
  • how to use the work phone

Demonstrating The Value Of Knowing Where The Commas Go

  • old fashioned house,wife rules

And The Award For The Most Unfortunate Use Of A Punctuation Mark Goes To…

  • to his dog every man is napoleon-aldous huxley

Thank You, Lord, For Glorious Typos

  • charles blackman feel beneath the table
  • your as old as the woman you tough
  • only as old as the woman you fee
  • you’re only as old as the woman you fell
  • don’t miss with me blog

This Person Obviously Has No Life. Or Is My Husband

  • fun facts about aviation

Covering All The Angles

  • poem on animals being educated now and then not wanting to know poems about animals on the street in a home poems about cats

Now Why Didn’t I Think Of That?

  • boy used as a mop
  • love many, trust few and a canoe
  • gay socks
  • one direction socks 

Plain Weird

  • tweet your man get marriage with forty yard woman
  • lets eat your mum cannibals
  • leatherhousewife
  • kink video chat rooms gerbil
  • eat your own dog cartoons
  • welding women dont shave
  • magnetic chickens in love
  • good looking family man with folded legs
  • cows don’t eat me
  • news years resolution monkey

You’d Think He’d Be Too Busy Being A Superhero To Have Time To Write About Me

  • batmanlive reviews housewife

My Favourite Search Of The Month (And Possibly Of All Time)

  • i dread the day that i accidentally say something to you that i only learnt by stalking you

 

Nicola Hulme Author

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