Robert Pattinson With Small Hairs

Underarm Hair (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s the first of the month which means…time to look at the searches which found my blog in May.

If you enjoy these, there are links to similar posts at the bottom.

Someone Has A Fetish

• hairy nude women armpits
• armpit draw
• robert pattinson with small hairs 
• girls that dont shave arms
• wet armpit porn
• kerala house wife sweaty armpit
• air in arm pits girls 
• bushy sweaty arm pits men
• freak americans dont shave armpits
• irish women don’t shave
• kids longest arm hair
• demi moore striptease hairy
• welding women dont shave
• fat taxi dog hairy
• armpitcartoons

And So Does Someone Else

• fat getting washed
• fat under armpit
• jessica roberts armpit
• wrinkles on armpits
• armpit famous
• arm pit fat

And Here’s Another

• hairy people farting
• people with severe farting
• summer fart
• diana fart

I’m Afraid To Ask

• sons sagging without underwear
• old wooden leg
• kids smiling with nasty teeth
• magnetic chickens in love
• paul’s shattered legs misery

If Wishing Made It So…

• beat the grim reaper
• julia roberts fat

It’s Always About The Specifics

• yorkshire gay
• good looking family man with folded legs
• born without my left arm smiling
• bud lite song: nick nack patty wack give a dog a bone, i dont want to talk about it politics 
• chinese girls dissecting animals

I See Why They Ended Up Here

• frustrated woman in front of a computer
• laughing into the washing machine

I Know A Good Idea When I Hear One

• maltesers sandwich
• fish spelling

Size Or Psychic?  (This Is The Internet; It Could Be Either)

• medium cats

Seems Like A Fair Swap

• carrots for tortoise

 

Related articles

• Famous With Sweaty Armpits (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)
• https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/giving-up-blogging/
• https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/yoda-gangster-and-the-laughing-rat/
• https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/ten-hose-wife-and-the-toilet-blob/

Famous With Sweaty Armpits

It’s the first of the month, and that means it is:

 Searches That Found My Blog Day. 

Enjoy!

Axilla hairy Português: Axila peluda (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I get why this might be your first stop

• no music no life
• terrible cook
• famous with sweaty armpits
• freeporncartoons
• someone eating maltesers
• “a hairier chest”
• woman in pyjamas
• our top 10 armpit disasters

The only kind we see in Stockport

• cartoon sun
• gay frogs
• long arm quilter
• clear hub express
• worm telling jokes

The only kind we see in this house

• funny marriage
• best boy armpits
• couple arguing
• ugly person with big teeth

She’s not from Stockport

• ugly sunburnt girl

Neither is he

• laughing johnny in runcorn

A natural progression

• man wife mall
• never argue with an idiot
• downhill my wife my home my car
• my wife ran away with my best friend

Trace it to where?

• trace a crocodile foot

By ‘everyone’ I assume you mean ‘husband’?

• everyone yelling at girl after marriage

The first rule is: there are no rules

• rule of marriage humor

Signs of what, exactly?

• signs – kids with foil on head

Stockport Pyramid (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thanks for nothing; now I need to know the answer

• why does the top of one of the middle pyramid look different
• one boob said to the other
• why are my legs hairless after menopause?

And I thought I had a big appetite

• lets eat benimar

Is there anyone left alive who might know this?

• noah’s ark birthday invitation wording

A little too specific for my liking

• south indian older actress armpit
• sean bean death statistics funny

What; like a tattoo, you mean?

• cartoons on engineers

Stay Awake Repo Elf

Here are just a few of the searches that found my blog in March.  Is it me, or are they getting weirder?

And I Thought I Was Addicted

• malteser gingerbread woman
• what font is the maltesers writing

Some Peculiar Advice

• oi your fat

 Advice I’d Rather Not Have To Give To My Readers

• stay awake

I Totally Get Why They Found Me

• cutest dogs in the world
• smiling freak
• yorkie poo cartoon
• arm fart jokes

I’m Worried That They Found Me

• julie christie nude
• i have wet myself
• girl on computer other man in room cheating
• i wear husband’s socks
• human cartoon from backside
• armpit sniffing pictures
• eat your own dog cartoons

That Last One Was Terrifying Until I Realised Someone Was Just Typing Too Fast

• eat your own dog food cartoons

Even Santa Is Affected By The Recession

• repo elf

Meet My Children

• handsome lads from england

And The Award For The Most Unfortunate Use Of A Punctuation Mark Goes To…

• to his dog every man is napoleon-aldous huxley

Tell Us Something We Don’t Know

• julia roberts dont wax
• i’m tired of my complaining husband

Did He Really?

• gary larson ground beef

Plain Weird

• tweet your man get marriage with forty yard woman
• lets eat your mum cannibals
• david cameron giggling
• house wife armpit photos
• leatherhousewife
• kink video chat rooms gerbil

My Favourite Search Of The Month (And Possibly Of All Time)

• i dread the day that i accidentally say something to you that i only learnt by stalking you

febsearch@weirdos.com

Image via Wikipedia

If you are new here, from time to time I share some of the searches people type in that lead them to my blog.

I have decided to do the search posts monthly, so they will be shorter.  I hope regular readers don’t mind?  I know the irregular readers won’t.

I’m Afraid To Ask

• children punk poo
• ugly brown cartoons
• i’ve got a dig bickt

Unnecessary Apostrophes, Perhaps?

• things that come in two’s’

Would Like To Meet

• ladybirds runcorn 1976
• mean dog poker
• cute single girls in runcorn
• adorable pyjamas women
• julia roberts armpits
• julia roberts wrinkles
• 9 gag grandpa
• housewide laughing
• president donkey

Would Not Like To Meet

• dead dog laughing in the cloud
• wife butchering cartoon

A Couple Of Oxymorons

• funny mathematician jokes
• man with maltesers in mouth*

*Not in this house, while I’ve still got breath in my body.  He is permitted to buy them only.

The Weirdest Search Of All

Over six HUNDRED people came to my blog during February, in search of the letter a.

Compare that to the number of people – 11 – who found my blog by Googling The Laughing Housewife; or, on no less than four occasions, The Laughibg Housewife; and even one hose wife.

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If you enjoyed these, here are some you might have missed:

• Love Many, Trust Few And A Canoe (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)
• https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/ten-hose-wife-and-the-toilet-blob/
• https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/yoda-gangster-and-the-laughing-rat/
• https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/giving-up-blogging/
• https://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2011/08/02/no-smoking-unless-you-are-on-fire/

Love Many, Trust Few And A Canoe

Image by garryknight via Flickr

Christmas is over and the searches are back to abnormal; here’s a taste of January searches that found my blog:

Now Why Didn’t I Think Of That?

• boy used as a mop
• why should you never be friends with someone who does acupuncture?they’re back-stabbers
• marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the wife
• ass making
• im going bed so shut up
• love many, trust few and a canoe

That’s A Bit Grim

• road accident comics
• iron poo
• pictures of fluffy black hair on a man
• animated horse poop gif

That’s A Bit Grin

• funny cartoon with teeth spacing

I Only Do Dogs And Gerbils

• cows don’t eat me
• funny reddit cat pooping
• a camel walks into a bar
• news years resolution monkey

Weird People

• red man syndrome
• dear scientists your mother thinks i’m big enough
• man in love with parrot

That’s No Laughing Matter

• jokes about maltesers

Bet They Got A Shock When They Saw My Paperless Walls

• stripping housewife

Too Much Dusting, Obviously

• housewife talking about her lobotomy
• housewife superhero
• chubby wife share

Seems A Bit Of A Waste

• is it true that if you place a fresh viagra tablet in a houseplant’s soil every six months, the plant will not wilt.

Things I’d Like To See

• julia roberts fat
• abraham lincoln kayaking

Related articles

• Noah’s Ark: Was That Today? (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)
• I’m Just a V.Desperate Housewife (writeonmum.wordpress.com)

Christmas Killed The Quest For Knowledge

It’s been months since I last shared the searches that find my blog, because 90% of the searches have been for Christmas jokes, or a really fat person smiling.  I’m happy to share the laughter but it makes for dull pickings.

You’ll be glad to hear that hundreds of people still think I know what happened to Gaddafi – though, now, of course, I do.  It’s hardly a secret, is it? 

It wasn’t this: horse falling on a pig

It being the holiday period, I wasn’t surprised to find that quite a few women were looking for dead husband cartoons and what can i have my husband do today.

But I was intrigued by the person looking for ancestor worms 

There were some requests for pictures of old lady eating in a box; I can’t help wondering if they were related to graniessex.  Are people looking to hump wheat, the old lady in TOWIE, or something too infinitely gross to contemplate (that last option might also include the people looking for daftporn and cotton knickers 1950s)?  Whatever, they won’t find it here.  In fact, I’m a little insulted that people think I watch TOWIE.

 

The usual tooth obsession occurred, but this one was new: celebrities teeth; but my favourites were this generic question: what does a 45 year old woman look like and the mind-boggling church of cheese.

 

 

Related articles

• TOWIE’s Nanny Pat is the most famous person in the world (VIDEO) (mirror.co.uk)

Noah’s Ark: Was That Today?

Some searches that found my blog:

 

If You Have To Ask The Question, You’re In Trouble

• what can i have my husband do today
• why wont my dog listen to me
• noah’s ark was that today

 

I Want These

• talking cupcake
• fairies in your hair
• housewives valium
• brad pitt warning signs

I Don’t Want These

• horrible smiles
• crap christmas tree
• cat box of hamster gerbil

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And The Award For Stupidest Complaint Of The Year Goes To…

• i gave birth and now i have to do nappies

 

The Sicko Parade

• knickerless can can
• ladies in the bath
• knobhead cartoon
• yoda from behind 

I Wish I’d Thought Of That

• pilfer-proof toilet paper
• cartoon muffins

We’d All Like To Know About This

• was bullseyes star prize a fix
• my new ugly boyfriend

 

The Mind Boggles

• sharks friendship
• cement the frog cartoon

Two Old Favourites

• one direction socks
• what really happened to gaddafi – 291 people in the last month seemed to think I was in on the secret

Is There Any Other Kind?

• dead drunk housewives
• cartoon animals who like food and wine
• mean husbands
• dirty ugly frogs
• housewife with dementia
• funny buttocks
• marriage fighting
• farting bum
• marriage joke
• “preaching pyramid” cook

If You’re Expecting These, You’re In The Wrong Blog

• home hygiene
• teenager talking to a parent
• breeding a housewife

 

Vindicated!

• scousers don’t take your tyres

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