Tag Archives: Book

I’m Hormoanal

6 Feb

My sincere intention to blog weekly fell by the wayside due to ongoing health issues (annoying but not calamitous); but this is something I must share:

My first* collection is published tomorrow, February 7th, by Matthew James Publishing.

*Ever the optimist

According to MJP, my 

signature biting wit and incredible relatability will have you laughing one minute and sympathising the next.

I can live with that. And with this, in particular: 

This collection of sharp, confident, and witty feminist poetry is the voice of the everyday woman putting the world to rights and deserves to be read by everyone.


To celebrate its publication, I’m having a book launch at Stockport War Memorial Art Gallery on Saturday 9th, from 2-4pm, to which every single person I know or have ever known is invited. (I’m also hosting a free writing workshop beforehand, but I’m sad/happy to report that it’s fully booked.)Image result for stockport art gallery

MJP have made two of my dreams come true: ‘Publish a book’ has finally been crossed off my bucket list, but a long held desire can now safely be admitted to: when studying A Level English at the local college back in 1998, I came across a video in the library on the sublime poet Grace Nichols. It followed her around as she did various things like readings and visiting interesting places, and there is a moment when she shows her passport at border control, and her occupation is described as ‘poet’. That moment resonated with me, such that I longed to be able describe my own occupation as ‘poet’.

Though I don’t claim to be in the same league as Ms Nichols, from tomorrow, I can.

Author copies! Did you know they give you some for free??

The book is lighthearted and accessible, especially to those with no interest in poetry.

I’m offering a free copy to the person who leaves the best menopause joke in the comments (closing date February 28th 2019). I’ll post to anywhere in the world. The Hub will judge, for two reasons: it’s fun to make him squirm; and he is notorious for barely cracking a smile at what I think is hilarious. If you can make him laugh, you win.

Finally, a taster: here’s the title poem:

Now I’m Really Back

26 Oct

Apartheid’s All Right If You’re White is now at Second Draft status and I am at Desperately Needing A Break status, especially if I don’t want to develop Deep Vein Thrombosis.

Deep Vein Thrombosis

Deep Vein Thrombosis (Photo credit: jfravel)

I have been sitting at the computer for three days straight.  Well, not straight so much as hunched over, knees in my chin because there’s no space under the desk for my legs and perched on the edge of a chair that is either too low or too high but I’m not quite sure which but I do know it’s uncomfortable.

But it was worth it!  My book is looking good, like it might actually be a real book one day.  This is one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done – and I’ve flown in aeroplanes at least twenty times.

You don’t define flying as ‘exciting’?  ‘Exciting’ for me means ‘an absolutely terrifying experience but worth the effort because of what comes at the end.’  How do you define it?

So here I am, back.  I have read all of your comments that you continued to make in my absence.  It must be like when I talk to the Hub.

Thank you for not deserting me.  Unfortunately, there’s no way I can catch up with all of them and do normal things like eat and sleep, so I will apologise right now:

Sorry, I won’t be replying to your comments.  There’s no way I can catch up with all of them  and do normal things like eat and sleep.

I do promise to visit you all, however, and not catch up on all the posts I’ve missed.  I can’t say fairer than that.

What?  We don’t have the same definition of ‘fair’, either?  Leave a complaint in the comments.

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