Tag Archives: Bumper Stickers

Joke 900

9 Sep
Funny Dick Bumper Sticker

Funny Dick Bumper Sticker (Photo credit: Amarand Agasi)

Last Lot of Bumper Stickers

  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
  • Don’t force it, get a larger hammer.
  • Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
  • Herblock’s Law: If it’s good, they will stop making it.
  • It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
  • It works better if you plug it in.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.
  • Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
  • Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
  • The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
  • You have the right to remain silent…Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  • I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • We Are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

    Funny Linux Bumper Sticker

    Funny Linux Bumper Sticker (Photo credit: Amarand Agasi)

  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy.
  • Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
  • I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
  • If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Funny Bumper Sticker - 2 of 2

Funny Bumper Sticker – 2 of 2 (Photo credit: sameold2010)

Find these and many more at ahajokes.

Joke 898

7 Sep
Bumper sticker

Bumper sticker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

More Bumper Stickers

  • Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
  • BEER: It’s not just for breakfast.
  • So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  • Don’t drink and drive…You might hit a bump and spill it.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  • Eschew obfuscation.

    Bumper sticker

    Bumper sticker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Better living through denial.
  • Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.
  • Too many freaks; not enough circuses.
  • Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
  • Ambivalent? Well, yes and no….
  • I thought I wanted a career.  Turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
  • How do I set the laser printer to stun?
  • I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert….
  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
  • Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
  • Adults are just kids who owe money.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?
  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
  • Help wanted.  Telepath: you know where to apply.
  • Hang up and drive.
Leona's bumper sticker.

Leona’s bumper sticker. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From ahajokes

Joke 896

5 Sep
Bumper Stickers

Bumper Stickers (Photo credit: _rockinfree)

Bumper Stickers

  • I love animals.  They taste great.
  • EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.
  • Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Cool Bumper Sticker

    Cool Bumper Sticker (Photo credit: Tim Patterson)

    Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

  • A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  • Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now. 
  • I won’t rise to the occasion, but I’ll slide over to it. 
  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. 
  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 
  • Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. 
  • Okay, who put a “stop payment” on my reality check? 
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. 
  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? 
  • All generalizations are false, including this one. 
  • I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
  • We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. 
  • Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. 
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 
Bumper sticker

Bumper sticker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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