Q. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
A. A receding hareline.
After I made the prompt post yesterday, the Hub and I had the following conversation:
Me: My favourite number is 134 million.
Hub: Why?
Me: Because that’s how much I’m going to win in Friday’s Euro Lottery Rollover.
Hub: My favourite number is £1.90
Me: Why?
Hub: Because that’s how much you need to scrape together if you want to add it to the kitty to have enough to buy a ticket.*
We don’t have a lot of money but we have a lot of laughs.
*The Euro Lottery costs £2
What keeps you up at night? Pegs.
What gets better with age?
My capacity for poking fun at myself. And the Hub. That goes without saying. I don’t know why I said that.
Conduct an interview for your blog.
TLH: So, WordPress Prompter, would you characterise some of your prompts as naffnaffnaff?
TLH: Sorry, readers; the WordPress Prompter has stormed out of the room.
I thought I would plug an old favourite. The above cartoon is South African. I have been a fan since it came out in 1992, poking fun at Apartheid and all kinds of South Africans, as well as world events. My favourite cartoon is the one where Mother Anderson is stockpiling beans, water and candles before the first democratic election in 1994, so they can live in the cellar for three months in the event of civil war breaking out. Eve, considering the beans, says, ‘If ever there was an argument for peace, this is it.’
http://www.madamandeve.co.za/cartoons/me004173.jpg
I have been buying the collections since the first one cost R30 in CNA. They weren’t famous then and a good copy sells for about R300 now. I wouldn’t part with mine; it’s a narrative of South Africa’s recent history. And hilarious.
http://www.madamandeve.co.za/cartoons/me001379.jpg
There’s a link to the right if you fancy a look.
I hate to be the one to say it, but snow is dull. I Googled ‘interesting facts about snow’ and this is the best I could find. I wanted to call this post ‘Interesting Facts About Snow’ (why waste a copy & paste?), but I was afraid I’d be prosecuted under the Trades Description Act.
If you know anything about snow that actually is interesting, please share it with us.
More from my clippings notebook (I’m running out now so I’ll have to blog about something original in future):
Dilbert quotes, from an old Sky TV magazine:
This next one is from Hagar the Horrible. It’s not that funny but it struck a chord with me because I read it when the Hub was travelling sub-Saharan Africa for weeks at a time and I was trying to think of reasons why that might be a good thing:
Helga: (Sigh) Being the wife of a traveling man is a trade-off…He gets to visit the great cities of Europe for three weeks…and I get a clean house for three weeks!
Only, the house was never clean for three weeks because I always re-arranged the furniture when he was away and it would take days at a time to do each room and the house would be upside down. He would come back and be walking into things and getting into the wrong side of the bed for ages afterwards. Served him right for leaving me alone with a baby and rubbish telly.
An old favourite from Hi And Lois. I can’t remember the characters’ names but it doesn’t really matter:
Mum (enters room where children are watching television): This program is awfully violent.
Boy: It’s just an animated cartoon, Mom, made up of thousands of drawings. The characters aren’t real so nobody gets hurt!
(Mum leaves)
Boy: That’s what I call my “Disney Defense.”
Some Peanuts quotes; these are from the website http://www.allgreatquotes.com :
Sally: I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.
Charlie Brown: Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Charlie Brown again: Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, “Why me?”, then a voice answers “Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.”
My personal favourite, unattributed: If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
I’m still busy with the Big Clean – hence the late post – but it has turned up a few gems, like a set of jewellery I thought I had lost, and an old notebook. It’s not a notebook like my present notebooks (no writing in it), but it has newspaper clippings stuck in that I collected over a couple of years. I thought I would share a few of them with you. Being uneducated at that point, I didn’t always think to quote the source, but I will do my best. I don’t think it’s plagiarism because I am telling you before I start that I did not write them.
Enjoy!
I’m starting with an apposite cartoon called Wright Angles, from a South African newspaper, probably the Johannesburg Star, in the early Nineties:
Toady: I hope you’ll excuse the way our kitchen looks. It’s a mess.
Friend: Well, you know what they say, Toady. “A woman’s work is never done.”
Toady: In my mother’s case, it’s because she never does it.
From The Star, 24/10/95:
HOW TO WRITE GOOD
I think this next one might have come from The Sunday Telegraph, but I’m not certain of it and I don’t know the date or who wrote it. I kept it because the last bit makes me laugh out loud:
I hugely enjoyed the leading article in Thursday’s Guardian, entitled “Vote him out”. But who were the paper’s reader’s being advised to vote against? Why, Slobodan Milosevic. I was not aware that the newspaper had many readers among the Yugoslav electorate. And if it does, I wonder how they would respond to the advice from 119 Farringdon Road, EC1, which was that they should accept Mr Milosevic’s request for a second ballot in the presidential elections (he having failed to rig the first one properly). The Guardian‘s stern exhortation reminds me of the leader from a provincial Irish newspaper in 1914: “We give this solemn warning to Kaiser Wilhelm: The Skibereen Eagle has its eye on you.”
I have the funniest readers in the blogosphere (not necessarily ha ha…)