Tag Archives: Church Notices

Joke 958

6 Nov

More church notices, thanks to Charlie.

Funny Church Signs

Funny Church Signs (Photo credit: au_tiger01)

  • Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
  • Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours’.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

    church sign

    church sign (Photo credit: chiptape)

  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  • The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
  • The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
  • The speaker for tonight’s meeting will be pinned to the notice board.
  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  • The Lutheran men’s group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
%d bloggers like this: