Tag Archives: Comments

Bottoming & Bung

16 Jul
English: Cory Monteith as Finn Hudson on the G...

English: Cory Monteith as Finn Hudson on the Glee Live! In Concert! tour. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Apologies that I haven’t replied to your comments for days.  Our German visitors – who were lovely and, contrary to popular British opinion, proved that Germans do have a sense of humour – left yesterday and I collapsed on the couch in front of the TV, catching up with Glee (I’m up to date with ER).  It was rather poignant to watch what were probably Cory Monteith’s last scenes.

I have been reading your comments even if I haven’t had time to reply; and also your emails.  Please accept my apologies for not replying to those, either.  I was too tired to go near the computer yesterday, and I am about to go out just now, catching two buses to a sleep clinic in Manchester.  

Sadly, it doesn’t live up to the hype of its name: no sleeping for me; just an oxygen thingy for my finger, to determine whether I have sleep apnoea.  I will probably have to go back again tomorrow, as the NHS needs to hold on to its oxygen thingies for other sleep-problemed patients; so I may not get a chance to reply until Thursday.  I really am sorry. Or I would be, if I could stay awake long enough to care about social conventions.

One Thousand Years of German Humour with Henni...

One Thousand Years of German Humour with Henning Wehn and Otto Kuhn (Photo credit: dullhunk)

I have enjoyed your discussion of the meanings of ‘bottoming’ and ‘bung’.  I didn’t have a title for this post until I wrote that last line, so thank you once again, dear readers.

I can tell you now what bottoming and bung are not: they are not the named partners of a dodgy law firm.

Keep guessing; or tell me what you think their real meanings are – or are not.  

The funniest reply will receive an answer in the comments from me.  Can’t say fairer than that, can I?

No, really, I can’t: my temporary crown has given me a lisp.


A Comment On Comments

4 Feb

My readers are so funny and interesting, they deserve a post of their own.

Blogging Heroes

Blogging Heroes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here is a sample of comments from just one post, I Don’t Like My New Desk Any More.

You may recall that what I thought was my plaited long hair was, in fact, a spider who jumped out on me – or, more accurately, jumped out off me, from my chin to my laptop.

Here is what you had to say about that:

We’ll start with Viv, who was pragmatic:

But think of all the dirty flies it has protected you from. I’d rather see a spider any day than a picture of hair loss!

If that last bit seems bizarre, I remind you that I showed a picture of balding Roger, rather than a hairy arachnid.

Then we’ll turn to the abusive:

mad cow disease

mad cow disease (Photo credit: Garrette)

Pseu called me a ‘wimp’ (correct), Viveka called me ‘mad as a cow’ (probably correct) and Miss Whiplash called me a ‘twerp’ (definitely correct), asserting that it was

…only Mummy spider going out to find breakfast for her own little ”Spud’ and ‘Tory Boy’….I am sure that she was just as frightened as you were…

Many of you offered supportive comments along the lines of, ‘can I join you, standing on that chair?’  Ron, the lucky man, 

considered moving to the North Pole to escape the little buggers. Instead, my doctor injected me with a special serum, and my fear disappeared overnight. Cool, eh?

Definitely cool!  Unless Ron was telling me a little pork pie…?

Faydanamyjake implored me to

be brave it only has 6 legs more than you

But Wee Scoops made the very reasonable point that there is

nothing scarier than an eight foot spider

Sharechair pretended to ‘understand completely’ but disproved that by the cruellest comment of the day:

I seem to remember hearing once that where ever you are, there is a spider within 5 feet. So… may as well sit at the desk.

Al made the inevitable but still amusing point that

World-wide-web illustration

World-wide-web illustration (Photo credit: HikingArtist.com)

it’s just looking for the World Wide Web.

Slpmartin delighted me with a poem:

Now this may sound silly
But Little Miss Tilly
Sitting and Writing
With her Morning Tea
Suddenly said ‘No Way!”
For Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Tilly away.

Julie freaked me out more than I already was by threatening

skinks…in the ceiling!

I don’t know what a skink is and I don’t want to know.  And that promised visit to Australia the minute I win the lottery is off.

Mairedubhtx suggested that

The spider is probably long gone and is now living in your kitchen.

I have to clean the kitchen first, to disturb it; so I reckon I’m safe.

Lanceleuven made my day:

Perhaps he’s just a massive Laughing Housewife fan and wanted a sneak preview of your next post! (If that is true he’s gonna be so psyched when he finds out it’s about him!)

Rorybore asserted that

I married my hubby because he kills spiders for me. true story.

I replied,

I married mine because he won’t kill spiders.

Not a true story – if I’d known that beforehand, I might have called it off

Now that I think about it, there’s no ‘might have’ about it.

Katherine Trauger is another pragmatist:

coffee break

coffee break (Photo credit: 3EyePanda)

Switch to coffee. Spiders hate coffee breath.

And so is Robin Coyle (who seems strangely eager to see me go):

Nice knowing you…Goodbye, sweet friend and her pet spider.

Aquatom wanted to know

Tilly, did you notice if the spider’s hair was plaited?

And Adinparadise suggested I

Plait its legs next time it appears, then it can’t get away

Grannymar showed me a photo of the spider who shared a bed with her (thanks for that, Grannymar.  Not).  She reminded me of this story:

On my first night visiting [my brother] in Durban, he told me about the time he woke up to find a scorpion tickling his chest. I think it got entangled in the hair.

Threewellbeings was kind enough to do some research on my behalf:

I have looked into what you could bring into your home to get rid of the spider! I’m fairly sure you won’t want the wasps or scorpions, and birds could present other problems with your long hair. I suggest a lizard and I think you already have a cat? The best answer, though, was “varying kinds of humans.” That answer seemed a little odd, but after thinking about it, if we eliminate you from the list, I think that leaves three males who should come to your rescue! I’d hate to see you separated from your new desk! 

My favourite comment of the day, however, came from BlueBee, who begged me to

Be brave, for our sake.

And so I am.  Still here, at my desk, pretending there’s no hidden spider and blogging my little heart out because I can’t wait to read your comments.

“Blogging: Never Before Have So Many People Wi...

“Blogging: Never Before Have So Many People With So Little To Say Said So Much To So Few” via despair.com (Photo credit: dullhunk)

I bet not one of you is like me, and has better comments than the posts which inspire them.  Do yourself a favour next time you visit here, and read the comments; they’re usually more amusing than the posts.  And then read the commenters’ blogs; you’ll enjoy them, I promise.

Thank you for putting me out of a job.  I can’t stop laughing about it.

Thank You For Your Comment

14 Nov

I never say that enough, so I’ll say it again:

Thank you

Thank you (Photo credit: Avard Woolaver)

Dear Reader, thank you for your comment.

Now, do you mind not talking?

No, no, I’m not asking you to stop commenting; I’m asking if you mind that at the moment you are commenting into a vacuum?  That we are not having our usual fun conversations? To whit: one Bud, Tilly has not been returning your calls?

What do you mean, you hadn’t noticed?

I blame Nano.  I decided to do my Nano writing in the afternoons because I won’t give up my blogging time and it turns out that the Hub was right – I do spend all my time on that swear word* computer.  I am two weeks into writing a novel in which one abandoned mother, one widowed traffic warden, four kids and one bracelet all solve a mystery (I’m glad they’re doing it, because I can’t). In the past, I must have replied to your comments in the afternoons because I have hardly managed to do them while I’ve been occupied this past fortnight.

Nano Building System

Nano Building System (Photo credit: jurvetson)

*Insert your own swear word according to your preferred level of vulgarity.

I have decided, in this post, to answer the general tenor of the comments rather than each and every one individually (my 100,000 comments target just slipped out of my grasp, but my tired eyes need respite).  So, in no particular order, here are my replies to your comments.  See if you can spot which one is yours:

  • Thank you.
  • Thanks!
  • Thanks, [insert name]
  • Thank you 🙂
  • Thanks 😀
  • Thank you 😀
  • Thanks 🙂
  • Thank you for your support 🙂
  • Thank you for your support 😀
  • Thank you for your support.  I really appreciate it.
  • I don’t, that’s for sure!
  • I don’t blame him.
  • I don’t really know.
  • I do.**
  • It is.
  • It isn’t.
  • I’m glad.
  • I’m sorry.
  • Feel free!
  • Eww!
  • I write joke posts a few at a time and schedule them for 04:00 every day.
  • Well done!
  • That’s good!
  • I like the idea.
  • I like the way you think.
  • Kindred spirits!
  • I like the idea, but it’s not for me.
  • You’re new here, aren’t you?
  • You are so sweet!

Combinations of one, two or three of the above responses may be made.

**I have to be careful using that one – it’s how I ended up married.

You know, I’m beginning to suspect you commenters are not missing much…

Some more answers:

  • Are you a friend of Sheldon Cooper’s?
  • You should write about sticks.
  • I always do.
  • It’s the only way to cope with this terrifying world.
  • I have to.  I don’t drive.
  • My baubles will be out before then.
  • I’m trying.
  • The Hub had the jab this afternoon.  The doctor also gave him a form to hand in at reception so that he doesn’t go through this again, although he warned him he – and I quote – ‘may have to go though this again next year.’ You couldn’t make it up.  Spud and I are going to have the jab as well.  A local chemist is offering it at a tenner each.  I can’t afford to get sick with everything I do and Spud is doing his A Levels.   And I’m not sure that I’m not a little bit frightened as well – the doctor told the Hub that a flu pandemic is overdue and it’s better to be inoculated, just in case, because we don’t want to become vampires.
  • I’ll let you know what the Queen replies.
  • I’m sorry, but I think he’s going to kiss her in the end.
  • If you grow up doing things a certain way, it will seem normal.


    SAYHEDGEHOG SELF PORTRAIT #6 (Photo credit: sayhedgehog)

  • I believe in a constitutional monarchy.
  • Put down the pitchforks and go back to your homes!
  • They are bread buns with sausage and egg on them.
  • Carrier pigeons might work.
  • It wasn’t meant to be creepy; it’s funny.  But if I have to explain it, then I guess it isn’t.  Good job I gave you three.
  • Who knew Goldilocks was so popular?
  • That may have been a slight exaggeration.
  • I wish our judiciary had such latitude.
  • Groaann***
  • I think I love you.****
  • That may just be the best comment made this week.****

***This comment is reserved exclusively for Al, with a special nod to Robin.

****This comment is reserved exclusively for you.

You should find something appropriate to your comment amongst that lot and if you don’t, leave a comment and I’ll get back to you.  

Thank you for your support 😀


M Is For Many Things

12 Sep

Maltesers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

M was, of course, for Maltesers, as most of my many musers managed to mention in the comments.

There were some other submissions:

  • M&Ms.  A majority of my readers are from across the mighty Atlantic so this was the most popular suggestion.  Meh, as my eldest son might say – a meagre replacement for the greatest sweet (candy) to ever live.
  • Malted Milk Balls: the imitation – almost a mockery – of my magnificent Maltesers.  Meh meh.
  • Meals.  An assumption that makes sense, given my interminable meanderings on foods I most adore – Maltesers, mainly.
  • Motherhood.  Well, yes, maybe I like being a mum; but do I like being a mum as much as I like Maltesers?  It’s a moot point.
  • Muffins.  Mojitos.  Marzipan.  Idiosyncratic Eye knows me well enough to remain with the food theme.  However… Marzipan – yuck yuck yuck!  Mojitos – got an impression it’s booze, so IE doesn’t know me that well yet.  Muffins – good choice.  But English or American…?
  • Money.  Not something I crave, unless it’s to pay for the Maltesers I’ve amassed.
  • Aquatom was right: M’s for many of ’em.  Yes, Tom; I did see what you did there.  Consider me cheesy grinning.
  • Patti suggested it was so easy, I should write another post.  Here it be, Patti.
  • Marabou chocolate was sent to me by comment link.  Many compliments to my new best mate, Viveka, who knows a request for a bribe when she hears one.
  • Commiserations to my ex-best mate, Viveka, who made the mistake of imagining I wouldn’t want to receive many more Maltesers than I presently have stashed in my store room.
  • More congratulations go to Slip Martin (my son’s name for him), who magnificently monitored over many of my posts that there was only one word in the English language that started with M…MALTESERS.  A man of discernment.
Maltesers in a tray.

Maltesers in a tray. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Summary: Mention Maltesers and my mood is one of amiable harmony and merriment; and you will be gifted with the honorarium of an over-emmed post.

Many thanks for making me smile.

And drool.

Tearing My Hair Out

26 May

Posting for Six Word Saturday…maybe*

If I am lucky enough to access your blog, the ‘Like’ button works but when I write a comment, all I get is the ‘Posting Comment’ box, forever, but it never does actually post the comment.  On some blogs, comments on one post work but not on another.  A new glitch this morning was the absence of photos.

If I go bald, it was WordPress inflicted.


English: Bald head

A vision of my future if I stay with WordPress. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


I’m off to take my rage out on the garden.  It’s a mess, too, but at least I can fix that.

*It depends on whether I can access the 6WS blog; and if I do, whether it will let me link; and if it does and you aren’t having the same problem, I will reply if I can but it depends on whether I get white screen; and if I don’t and I can access your blog, it depends on whether it will let me comment.  So, thank you for visiting and consider me with you in spirit, at least.


Hacked-off of Stockport


Just tried to preview this post and all I got was…white screen!

Here, take it!  Faults and all!


What’s Up With WordPress?

21 Mar
WordPress Pumpkin

WordPress Pumpkin (Photo credit: Eric M Martin)

I love WordPress; I do.  Remember that if you ever hear it was found buried in a blue recycling bin left abandoned off the M6.

What’s with WordPress at the moment?  I just had to approve my own comments on my own blog.  I get why other bloggers might hesitate to approve me – banal and anodyne, anyone?  I’m not good at small talk – but I think I’m mostly okay and I can’t say there’s ever been a moment when I have disapproved of myself, except for once in my twenties when I made a deliberately mean comment to a friend and I have since always been ashamed of it.

Another complaint: the wonderful new notification system (which could be more wonderful still if it didn’t go only up to nine) now tells me when I’ve made a comment on my blog…talk about overegging the pudding.  It goes like this:

  • I post.
  • You comment.
  • WordPress tells me you commented: in my dashboard, my inbox and through my notifications.
  • I reply to your comment.
  • I have to approve my own comment.
  • Not knowing I have both commented and approved my comment, I receive notification that I have left a comment on my blog.
  • My head explodes.

I feel guilty for complaining: poor Viv is having trouble receiving comments at all; and her commenters are feeling as frustrated as if they are trying to leave a comment on Letterdash.

Is WordPress really trying to compete with the most inefficient comment system known to blogger?

Answers on a postcard, please.  It will get here faster.

Please, WordPress, Save Me!

19 Dec
Image by Adriano Gasparri via Flickr

If you are reading this, you are probably a subscriber (thanks for that, by the way; you are keeping me alive in the blogosphere).  I don’t know how anyone else is managing to read me – each time I write a new post, the white space on my home page gets bigger.  You have to scroll down to the backside of your monitor to read the last visible post, dated 15 December.

I could suppose that it is a glitch in the WordPress system, but they haven’t responded to my two emails and I do have a history of poking fun at the WordPress prompters…but the prompters are not the techies and the techies have always been quick to respond. 


Could it be that the prompters have kidnapped the techies to punish the techies for being more popular than the prompters; or is it a fiendish plot to stop the techies from helping their relentless tormentor?  Could it really be that I have an ego the size of Mohammed Ali and there is no correlation between my faulty blog and the absence of any help?  That they don’t even know I exist and it is all coincidence?


It doesn’t help that I have been rendered offblogging for several days.  I still have an appetite so I’m not yet a hospital case, but when I’d rather watch a bad movie than sit at the computer, I know I’ve been seriously unwell.  However, I’m on the mend now, and intend to hound the techies, bombarding them with polite requests to get a move on, please, if it’s not too much trouble, thank you.  I haven’t yet reached the begging stage and I can’t unwrite what I’ve written and wouldn’t anyway because you readers would lynch me (as soon as you found me hiding over in blogspot), but I’m getting there.  I blog; therefore I am.  I blog not; and a thousand bad movies are lined up to muddle my mind.  Not pretty.  Did you ever see Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes?  Not blogging would be like living in that dreadful film for eternity; or until I found a new writing outlet, like anonymous, harassing letters to blogging techies who let me down when I needed them most.

I’m rambling; blame the phlegm.  And the nogudnik techies out partying when they should be working.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Image via Wikipedia


I now have to catch up with the many comments that you managed to leave.  I appreciate them; I do.  Thank you.  I like having hundreds of comments to read in Christmas week when I should be baking or shopping or drinking.  Think I could manage that last one, actually.  But the CoWAbunger announcement will be late because I can’t award it until I read your many, many, many comments.  Thank you again.


Anyone know where the WordPress techies live?  I won’t hurt them, I promise.


CoWAbunger Hoist

7 Nov

I’m not doing this just on Viv’s say-so, though she does have a lot of influence over The Laughing Housewife (don’t tell her!); I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to do.  Pleasing myself, pleasing a friend and choosing the winner never seemed so easy before. 

For this excellent comment on I Always Listen To My Readers, in which I was hoist by my own petard, step up, Big Al.


To all my fellow commentators, please vote on the following:

For making us answer polls on her blogs, Tilly Bud should be:

1. Henceforth and forever more banished from the blogosphere ____

2. Tied up in a room with a box of Maltesers just out of her reach ____

3. Be made to listen to a recording of WordPress prompts played over and over ____

4. Be made to listen to all the knock knock jokes that ever existed ____

or….. (and this is especially cruel)

5. Be complimented on every thing she writes ____


I found a wonderful picture of a cow doing a pole dance but I can’t use it.  If you’re curious, it’s here.  Then there was a picture of a bull goring a matador right where it would hurt me (in the mouth); I’d like to have used it – satisfying on so many levels – but Big Al was so charming and so funny that I decided to go with what he really deserves…a smiling cow.  Here you go, Big Al:

Big Al isn’t funny just in here.  Check out his blog, The Cvillean.  Don’t be put off by the fact that he can’t seem to spell his own name.

Well done Al!


24 Oct

Some excellent and funny comments this week, thank you; but I laughed hardest at this one from Perfecting Motherhood – who also sees cows every day, so I think she’ll be pleased:

Well, is the WP people had $1000 in superballs, I’d think they’d have an idea of what to do with them to take care of you, miss smarty pants…

It came on the post about superballs.  What appealed to me was the image of enraged WordPress prompters pelting me with rubber balls.  Not that I’m into that sort of thing, but what a great post it would make, once I stopped crying.

Here’s your award, PM:


CoWAbunger Hiccup

17 Oct

This has been the best week so far for comments, and any of the seven that I ruled out would have been a worthy winner in another week – especially SammyDee, for calling me ‘bonkers’; but the Kurgan tells us There can be only one, so it has to be Sidey, for this little ditty, which helped make sense of an incomprehensible post:

I can also count in alcoholic
One Tequila
Two Tequila
Three Tequila

Well done, Sidey!  Here’s your award:

A CoWAbunger That It Physically Hurts Me To Award

26 Sep

The worthy winner this week – not least because she has commented in recent times almost twice as much as her nearest rival and she’s worn me out – is Pseu.

The two comments that won her the award are:

From Joke 179:

Turn me around three tmes and I’m lost. Why hadn’t I thought of using the Cat Navigation?

She continued the joke on Of This That ‘n’ T’other:

This snake is quite obviously lost. Could you lend it the cat nav?

She managed to keep the Cat Nav running joke going through several posts over several days, I think.  I’d find them for you but I’m going out.

She did lose an ‘i’ (and she might lose another before the ceremony is over), but Pseu is a blogger’s dream commenter: She write good.  She funny.  She do my research.  She find You Tube videos.  She should be writing this blog instead of me (without the Maltesers, of course).

In recognition of that, she is not going to receive an ordinary CoWAbunger Award, oh no!  She will receive… she will receive…she will.  She will.  You can do it, Tilly; just grit your teeth and spit it out.  PseuwillreceivetheCoWAbungerMalteserAwardforServicestoThisBlog’sComments

well done Pseu yadda yadda yadda whatever turn off the light on your way out

A CoWAbunger Shared Is A CoWAbunger Doubled

19 Sep

This week’s Comment of the Week Award is shared.  Two ladies wrote with such truth and passion that I couldn’t decide between them.  Their comments were on the same post – There’s Always A Silver Lining – about vuvuzelas.

Congratulations theonlycin   

and Granny 1947!

Cindy’s comment: They’re the soundtrack in Hades

Granny’s comment: Whoever invented the damn things should spend eternity listening to them!

A worthy runner-up was gigihawaii Photo who accidentally invited the vuvuzela-hating community to come live with her:

I have never seen such horns much less heard them.  No such thing in Hawaii.

Well done, you sensible people!   Here are your awards:



5 Sep
Highland cow

Image via Wikipedia

This week’s award was difficult to decide upon because there were two commenters who stood out above the rest.  So I went for a third instead.

Just kidding, Big Al!  Oops, that wasn’t supposed to slip out like that.

Big Al  wins it for not one, but two great comments this week:

His comment on Screeeech! made him the front-runner:

Tilly Bud, you just have to learn to stop beating around the bush and say what’s on your mind. How will anybody know your serious with such namby pamby remarks?

Though I had to deduct marks for the incorrect spelling of you’re (I run a strictly corect speeling blog here).  However, Al’s comment on To Add To My Woes… clinched it:

Sorry you’re feeling punk. Fortunately for you, I have studied medicine on the internet. Here’s my advice: write two blogs and call me in the morning.

The comment was longer but that’s the bit that had me laughing out loud. 

Well done, Big Al!  You are a worthy winner.  For chopping down some stiff competition, here’s your award:

Mrs Samurai Cow Award for PJ

And The Winner Is…

29 Aug

My readers leave a lot of funny comments on this blog.  Stop it, will you!  You’re embarrassing me; I’m supposed to be the amusing one. 

I find it difficult to be funny back so, to circumvent my inadequacy, I am announcing the Comment of the Week Award, with a magnificent prize, to be known hereinafter as the CoWAbunger (TM) (Anybody know how to superscript?).

The magnificent prize is a photograph of a trophy/rosette/plaque of some kind, because I’m not made of money, you know.  All decisions are made by me, and are final unless a suitable bribe is offered.

The inaugural CoWAbunger (TM) (Anybody know how to superscript?) goes to someone who has shown consistency in her commenting ever since I’ve known her; but that’s not why she’s the winner.

Someone who speaks her mind so I’d better stay on the right side of her; but that’s not why she’s the winner.

Someone who already gets regular mentions in this blog (previous comment refers); but that’s not why she’s the winner.

Who I’ve already told in my reply to her comment that she gets Comment of the Week; that’s why she’s the winner, because she inspired it.  Oh, and her masterly response to my Weekly Photo Challenge: Up post.  That’s why she’s the winner.  That and the flattery, which I usually hate, as you know.  Honest.  But did I mention she was a straight talker, so it must be true that she loves me?


Here you go:

I have the feeling I’ve forgotten something…

…oh yes! 

And the Winner is…Nancy!    CoWAbunger! (TM) (Anybody know how to superscript?)

Unfortunately, Nancy couldn’t be here today to collect her award, because she lives on another continent.  I have a feeling that’s going to happen a lot.


Wham, Bam, Thank You Spam

7 Jul

I have to share my Spam Comment Of the Day with you:

Now that’s what I call gay.


It was on the page, Welcome Me.  Here’s an extract of that post:

Cook.  Cleaner.  Laundry

maid.  Nanny.  Nurse.  Banker.  Last

resort.  Unpaid.  Worse –

un-thanked.  Abandoned.

She laughs.  Laughs.  Laughs.  All the way

to the funny farm.

I think I had the wrong end of the stick about what being gay means.

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