Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda…Can’t

WordPress is playing silly beggars again

I’m frustrated and I’m snotty and that’s not a good combination.  Prepare for a grumpy post.

Last week, I didn’t visit your blogs because I was unwell.

This week, I won’t visit your blogs because WordPress is unwell.  Every time I click your links, whether in my email inbox, blog roll, from your comments, or even my own previews, I get a 502 or 504 message: basically, we’re not letting you in in WordPress-speak.  It took many hours yesterday to comment on about twenty blogs.  

Woes of a Literal Marketer: Link Bait (Photo credit: HubSpot)

I’m getting 400-600 spam comments in my spam box every day and my stats have gone down quite dramatically (for those of you who remember the chart, that’s Brit-speak for ‘way more than I like and if it carries on I’m giving the whole thing up for good’, not Rest-of-the-world-speak for ‘dropped a little dramatically but not more than I can handle’).

I wonder if the spam thing is related to the stats thing, because they happened around the same time; or is it just coincidence?

If you’re not getting comments from me on many of your posts, it’s WordPress’s

Peter Steiner’s cartoon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

fault.  I’m sorry, I can’t do anything about it.

One of last week’s prompts was: Tell us about something you know you should do . . . but don’t.  It was entitled, Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.

I shoulda stopped blogging before I thumped my laptop and I woulda stopped blogging if I coulda, because my perfect blood pressure caused by my even temper is about to be a thing of the past, but I can’t because they sucked me in with their ridiculous prompts and their world-wide network of people who say nice things in the comments section.  They’ve sucked me in so deep I may never get out.

I’m going to kick the Hub now, because we don’t have a cat.

For less irritable Six Word Saturdays, go here.

 

Joke 214

Thanks to Sarsm for this one.

Genuine Extracts From Letters To Rochdale Council Offices. 

I wish to complain that my fater hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 

The lavatory is blocked. This is caused by the boys next door throwing their balls on the roof. 

This to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. 

The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand? 

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall. 

I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawer. 

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother. 

I want some repairs doing to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knobs off. 

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous. 

Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant. 

Our kitchen floor is very damp. We have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it. 

Would you please send a man to look at my water. It is a funny colour and is not fit to drink. 

Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and I need it straight away. 

I awoke this morning and found my water boiling. 

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we cannot get BBC2.