Tag Archives: Cows

Joke 560

4 Oct

From Will & Guy.

A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were as follows:

Q    What warning was given by you?
A    Horn.

Q    What warning was given by the other party?
A    Moo.

English: CowParade Prague 2004. #192 VESELÁ KR...

English: CowParade Prague 2004. #192 VESELÁ KRÁVA, Artist: Ondřej Skala. “The Laughing Cow”. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And these are from cowabashcowpalace.com

Q:  What do you call a cow with no front legs?

A:  Lean Beef

Q:  What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

A:  Laughing stock.

Q:  What goes ooo ooo oooo?

A:  A cow with no lips. 

Joke 434

31 May

 

English: cow icon

English: cow icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Another one from Cliff, slightly adapted.

The Hub was explaining to me last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.

I said, ‘I’d like to come back as a cow.’

He said, ‘You’re obviously not listening.’

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Joke 350

8 Mar

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?

Ground Beef.

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Use of cows in Gary Larson's Far Side books

Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No, It’s A Couple Of, Um, Cows

30 Mar

I follow a blog called Every day I see a cow.  The blogger’s husband took this photo of a billboard that made me laugh out loud.  I just had to share it.

Chick-fil-A billboard with hanging cows

You might like to take a look: the blogger posts a photograph of the cows she sees every day.  I’ve started looking for cows in my life but I hardly ever see one.  I don’t think I get out enough.

Can you imagine the conversation that led to this happening?

Bill: Daisy, Daisy, I’m half crazy for love of you!

Daisy:  Bill, I’m bored.

B: I have an idea…I think it will make you love me and encourage you to make me an honest burgher.  Plus, we can get our revenge on Henny Penny and the gang for that prank the other day when they said the sky was falling.  Remember?  I evacuated my bowels right there in the field.  I was so embarrassed.  It was worse than the time I got caught in the corn by that blue kid.

D: Bill, I’m bored.  And stop talking about poo!  You sound like a Laughing Housewife post.  That woman is so vulgar.

B:  No, listen, listen…All we need is some paint, a huge sign, a ladder and opposable thumbs.  Easy!

D:  …Well, I suppose it’s not impossible; after all, you are the cow who jumped over the moon.  You’re a celebrity!  The worst that can happen is a crumpled horn and a stint in the Big House.

B: The Big House?

D: Jack’s place.

B: Gulp.  Sure…erm, maybe it’s not such a good idea.  To be honest, I’m shaking a little.  And it’s almost milking time.

D: So the whole I-love-you-and-it’s-not-just-calf-love thing was a load of bull, then?

B:  No, no!  I love you!  Marry me!  It won’t be a stylish marriage because I can’t afford a carriage but you’ll look sweet dangling feet on a huge billboard made for two!

 

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