Tag Archives: Easter

Happy Easter!

31 Mar

Easter seems to be all about dogs this year.

B&B #bb #bedandbreakfast #dog #food #fun #funn...

B&B #bb #bedandbreakfast #dog #food #fun #funny #quote #true #joke #humor #irony #joke #sarcasm #actually #spain #igers #igersgirona #igersspain #iphonesia #instagramhub #photooftheday #instamood #bestoftheday #picoftheday #igdaily #jj #meme #rage #clubso (Photo credit: Sin Amigos)

At the Good Friday service, meant to be solemn, tacent and contemplative, we were joined by a sweet Yorkie cross, being babysat by an old lady who told everyone who ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ over the dog, ‘David said it was okay for me to bring Pepper!’*

*David is the vicar and not the old lady’s imaginary friend.  Pepper was the dog.  I didn’t see her wee, or I’d be writing about Pepper spray.

The dog was very well-behaved. Better behaved, in fact, than the old lady, who spent the whole time whispering to the only small child present, who replied in stage whispers.   They seemed to enjoy themselves.

At this morning’s service we had a guide dog in training, a black lab puppy named Max.  Beautiful dog, and also well-behaved.  Not like the time a young man brought his new pup and it did several rapid laps around the pews during the creed.

Perhaps it was the dogs who inspired David today.  Half way through a talk about the astonishment that was felt when the tomb was found to be empty, he apologised for losing his train of thought, but he was starving because he’d had no breakfast – and then he surprised us all by opening a tin of Pedigree Chum and eating some of it.  He shared it with a few brave children and even cornered a young fellow only there because his banns were being read (I wonder if he’ll turn up for the wedding?).

Mars bar (UK style). Photo by sannse.

Mars bar (UK style). Photo by sannse. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was semi-melted Mars Bar, of course, poured into a re-labelled prunes can; but David shared that information only with those of us who asked him after the service if it really was a tin of Chum?  I’m a little worried, now I think about it, that many people didn’t ask him what was in the tin; did they take his act at face value?  No doubt, he will forever be remembered in the parish as that funny bloke in the long dress who ate dog food during the sermon.

As my friend Lois said in relation to something else entirely, but which seems rather apposite here – you can find anything in the Church of England.

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The previous word was ‘slimsy’: Flimsy, frail – what this post is in relation to the true Easter story.  

If you celebrate it, Happy Easter!

Joke 736

29 Mar
Easter Bunny

Easter Bunny (Photo credit: subtle_devices)

A man came out of church one day and the preacher was standing at the door to shake hands.  He grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”  

The man replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”

The Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”    

The man whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”

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From jokesedigg.com

 

Easter Basket

8 Apr

Gobetween offered a basket of Easter treats.  I liked the idea so much, I have copied it.

Spud in his Easter Bonnet.  It was so heavy, he needed a pole (in his right hand) to support it and a cord (in his left hand) to balance it.  The Hub has a habit of going overboard.  His enthusiasm tends to carry him to places he would never normally go, like into marriage with me.

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An Easter story:

At an Easter service in Bangladesh the congregation wept at the crucifixion scene in the Jesus film.

Suddenly a little boy at the back jumped up and shouted, ‘Don’t worry, He gets up again.  I saw it before!’

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Spud the Vicar: one old tablecloth; some black card; white card; a material scrap and gold stickyback plastic.  Must be a Church of England vicar.

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This happened last year:

I attended the early service in my Anglican church.  We combined with two other churches in the parish last Easter.  The church where we are now based is high church, as opposed to us low church, or enjoy-it-enough-to-almost-be-called-’happy-clappy’-if-we-weren’t-all-too-frightfully-British-to-actually-clap-in church.

The early service is extremely formal: the Gospel reading requires everyone to stand, and is made in the middle of the congregation.  I suppose the thinking is that it’s at the centre of everything.  People in long, white robes hold crosses on sticks and surround the vicar, who reads the scripture from the biggest Bible I’ve ever seen in real life.  It is all rather solemn and old-fashioned.

The reading was from Matthew; the parable of the sower.  The vicar read, And he told them many things in parables, saying, at which point he drew breath, just as the only baby in the room said, Dada!

I’ll tell you what is definitely not old-fashioned – a giggling vicar.

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Happy Easter! 

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Joke 381

8 Apr

Q.  What do you get when you cross a bivalve mollusc with a rabbit?

A.   The Oyster Bunny.

Happy Easter!

Icon of the Resurrection

Icon of the Resurrection (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Crying With Laughter

24 Apr

First, a sweet story for Easter that I read today:

At an Easter service in Bangladesh the congregation wept at the crucifixion scene in the Jesus film.

Suddenly a little boy at the back jumped up and shouted, ‘Don’t worry, He gets up again.  I saw it before!’

Happy Easter 🙂

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I was saddened to hear of the death yesterday of John Sullivan, creator of Citizen Smith and Only Fools And Horses.  He had me crying with laughter more than once over the last thirty years.  Here are a few of my favourite scenes:

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Joke 31

24 Apr

Q. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?

A. A receding hareline.

Happy Easter

4 Apr

Today’s blog title has nothing to do with what I’m going to write about, but I wanted to wish you all a Happy Easter so, Happy Easter!

Incredibly, my theme for yet another day is ‘big’.  It is entirely by accident, I assure you, that I am sticking to the theme of NaBloPoMo, even though it is not a requirement of the sign-up.

Big Day For TV:

The new Dr Who made his first appearance last night.  I have to say I was impressed.  Yes, he’s ugly, poor fellow, like some neanderthal throwback; but he can act and he took over the role with confidence.  Steven Moffat’s script helped, of course, though it wasn’t as terrifying as ‘Blink’.  I don’t think I’m going to miss David Tennant as much as I expected to.  The new sidekick was pretty good as well; the Hub and Spud both agree, though they stopped before ‘good as well’.

Big Day For City:

The Hub and Spud are walking on metaphorical air: as well as Man City’s 6-1 win over poor Burnley* yesterday, Tottenham were defeated, pushing City into fourth place with a game in hand, and – cherry on the cake – so were united.   Woo-hoo! or words to that effect.

* I am not a true sports fan because I always feel sorry for the losers

Big Day For Tory Boy:

Wiliam Hague is visiting Lancaster tomorrow and Tory Boy is going to be one of the minions showing him around and screening out nutters.  What a great opportunity (to fall flat on his face/say the wrong thing/let the wrong nutter through).  No pressure, my darling.

Big Light Bulb Moment In The Middle Of The Night:

I sat up in bed at three in the morning, having suddenly realised that I have not stuck to the conditions of NaBloPoMo.  Someone on NaPoWriMo posted that they had not commented on other people’s poetry; I didn’t realise that we were supposed to do it and checked the terms of the pledge.  I couldn’t find anything, yet I remembered reading something about twelve comments a day on other posts.  It was for National Blog Posting Month, of course, and not for National Poetry Writing Month, as I remembered in my sleep.  I have only commented once, I think, and that was by accident because I thought I was commenting on a poetry participant’s post.  Ah well.  So many acronyms; so little mind.

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Yesterday’s prompt was to write about what scares us.  I have a serious reverse senryu  and a lighthearted rhyming ditty for you.  Don’t judge me too harshly on the ditty: I know it’s not finished but we are supposed to post them anyway; the important thing is to be writing.

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Superstition

I cannot give voice to that

which I most fear,

for that might leave me childless.

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What I’m Most Scared Of

Bees and wasps, for they have stings;

every kind of crawling thing. 

Heights and depths and swimming pools. 

Angry men with power tools. 

Rapists, paedos, muggers, thieves;

the scratching sound in my house eaves. 

The aspirations of local chavs:

have-nots who’ll take to make them haves. 

Console games my children play,

teaching them that violence pays. 

Living in this Big Brother state:

it talks of love and foments hate. 

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But of NaPoWriMo I’m most scared:

I can’t believe I ever dared

agree to compose daily words.

For sheer hard work I was not prepared.

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